Patrick, you're kinda derailing the proceedings here. Just focus on me, huh?
Alright, alright. [stares at SpongeBob with bloodshot eyes]
“Oral Report” · Season 8
In this episode: Abrasive SpongeBob (4), Patrick (3), Sandy (1)
Patrick, nobody throws pillows in class!
Says you! SPEECH!
Try again.
[panting] Boating...safety...
[Patrick crashes together a pair of cymbals, causing SpongeBob to lose his balance and fall off the treadmill while still holding the handlebars]
Come on, SquarePants. Is this the best you can do?
Patrick, I don't think this is working.
[The treadmill's motion grinds SpongeBob into a pile of dust on the floor]
[shouts] SPEECH! [startled, SpongeBob jumps up in his normal form. Patrick continues yelling the same word repeatedly, making SpongeBob even more nervous] SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! [his eyes are now talking] SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEE-
Patrick, stop! Somehow, you're help just isn't helping. I am even more nervous about this oral report than I've ever been about anything. [shivers]
White knuckles, leaky pores, stomach in knots... Y-yep. He looks pretty bad. SpongeBob, you're afflicted with severe Oral Report-itis! You know, patients with this disease have been known to physically explode. KER-POW!!!
[shrieks]
It has been scientifically proven that 85% of speech related stress can be eliminated if the speaker imagines the audience in their underwear. Everyone will look so silly, you won't even remember you're nervous! Which is why I invented these: Goggles that let you see people in their undies. Or, I could just make you a fake boating license.
That's still illegal. Give me the goggles. [tries them on] It's not working.
Well, of course it isn't, silly! I'm only wearing my undies. See if they work on Patrick.
[looks at Patrick and jumps] Eh. Yeah, they work.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.