SpongeBobHere's your Krabby Patty! [puts his Krabby Patty on the table and holds up his tray] Shall I put it on your tab?
Oh, yeah. Keep it open. We might be here all night! Let me just say up front, I'm a fan! I'm excited to learn from a master. My career in self-worth are in your hands! Let us writing on this. Okay... advise!
[sighs and gets up] Why don't you just concentrate on your patty? [leaves]
[looks at his patty] Of course, it's so obvious now! How did I not see it earlier? Squidward's a genius! I know now what I must do! [reaches in his pocket for googly eyes and puts them on the patty, admiring his masterpiece.]
FNFrederick Nitpick
[pops out of the ketchup bottle] Brilliant! [hands Patrick a bag full of money] I've never seen such an example of raw creativity! This will turn the art world on its head! I hereby declare this the next big thing! [echoes. The customers swarm the Krusty Krab and hold up their money]
SpongeBob
You did it, Patrick! You found your inspiration!
[holds up his money bag] And I'm going to need some more of those patty thingies!
SpongeBob
You got it, buddy! [jumps into the kitchen and flips some patties, which fly out to Patrick. Patrick decorates a patty and gives it to Tom, who gives him another money bag]
Huh? [hears cha-ching] Ooh, money! Money, money, money, money, money, money, money! [opens the cash register and notices it's empty, then gasps] What the? [gasps again and notices customers giving money to Patrick and SpongeBob giving him patties] SpongeBob! [grabs SpongeBob] Patrick! [grabs Patrick and pulls both of them into his office] What's the meaning of this?
It's my art. Uh, I buy Krabby Patties for $3 and I..I sell them for $50. [Mr. Krabs gets mad with a growling animal sound. SpongeBob and Patrick get worried and cry]
Why is he so mad, Squidward? I was just following your advice!
What?! [to Squidward, angrily] It was your idea, huh?!
[The scene cuts to SpongeBob bringing more patties out.]
SpongeBob
Here's a whole new batch of Krabby Patty canvases.
Great, SpongeBob! [to Incidental 41] That'll be fifty bucks!
I4Incidental 41
[hands Mr. Krabs money] It's so inexpensive!
And here's your patty! One more art patty, Mr. Star!
I4Incidental 41
It's such an honor to meet you!
[takes the patty] I can only imagine! Apprentice! [turns to Squidward] Make another of my masterpieces, good man. [Squidward grabs the patty and squirts glue on the top bun] If you work real hard, you may be an artist too someday! [Squidward growls at Patrick. Patrick looks at the patty.] Mm, probably not. Needs more glitter. [Squidward breaks down bawling, ending the episode]
[Plankton sees SpongeBob setting up a picnic]
SpongeBob
Hi, Plankton!
Hey, SpongeBob, want to hear a sad story? [jumps onto lunchbox]
SpongeBob
No, not particularly.
Once upon a time, there was a yellow doofus who loved to drink milk with his lunch. But unfortunately for said doofus, his milk was tragically spilt. The end. [knocks the milk over]
SpongeBob
[starts to cry] Sad story! And so timely! [cries uncontrollably, Plankton catches his tears in a bag]
SpongeBob
Well, I guess Plankton's right. Good thing I always bring backup milk! [opens his face like a fridge and pulls out another carton of milk]
SpongeBob
Mr. Krabs, what is this thing?
Why, it's my old soap press!
SpongeBob
Soap press?
That's right! All the soap Pearl and I use comes from this machine. And the best part is, it runs on 100% pure leftover Krabby Patties!
SpongeBob
Leftover Krabby Patties?
[tosses a Krabby Patty into the machine] Their precious essences are harvested, and after a brief cooling process, tumble out this conveyor belt as fresh, wonderful bars of soap! [the new soap falls off the conveyor belt into a basket] Fresh and invigorating! Plus, it's absolutely free.
SpongeBob
[picks up one of the soap bars and sniffs it] Ohhhh, that explains why it smells so familiar! I don't know about this, Mr. Krabs. If Pearl finds out that you...
[lividly] I've been using soap made out of Krabby Patties?!
Well, if you want to split hairs, I suppose-
[furiously] DADDY! [throws soap at her father]
[runs away in fear] Got to go, you kids have fun!
SpongeBob
[running outside of his Grandma's house] Hang on, Gary! [when SpongeBob arrives at his house and opens the door, water comes out, and SpongeBob swims inside, then the water drains out] Gary! [hears Gary meow] What's the matter, buddy? [runs up the stairs, the sees Gary meowing at the book called "Snail Tales" while Patrick is laying on' SpongeBob's bed] Ahh... reading Patrick a bedtime story, I see. "Snail Tales," that's a good one.
[sits up on the bed] "Snail Tales"? I thought it was called, "Meow, meow, meow".
SpongeBob
[taking down notes] Normal. [he then goes in the robot warehouse. He is counting the robots] 2,692... [he is wearing a hat. He types the something down on a gadget. The gadget takes out some paper with the words on it] 2,693... [types something again and the gadget takes out more paper] 2,694... [types something again but he types to much causing the gadget to take out lots of paper. He starts laughing. Suddenly, the gadget goes on fire and so does the paper then it disintegrates. SpongeBob leaves. Scene cuts to him wearing a dress while dusting Sandy's artifacts] Sandy said this collection of rare fragile artifacts needs to be gently cleaned twice daily. There we go. Not a speck of dust anywhere. Wait a minute. [turns a skull head around and spots a dot on it] Aha! [takes a feather off the duster and dusts the dot off] There... we go. [scene cuts to SpongeBob checking the worm incubator] Worm incubator. Well, looks like everything's fine here. [there is a squishing sound] What the...? [a worm starts to hatch] Ohhh! Sandy said these wouldn't hatch for... [checks the list] ...weeks! What is going on?! [Patrick's head pops up] Oh! Patrick? [Patrick pops out of the hole wearing his helmet]
SpongeBob! There you are!
SpongeBob
Oh, what a relief. I thought you were a horrible mutant worm who was about to soak me with digestive juices and slowly consume me over a period of weeks.
Nah, no thanks. I had a late breakfast.
SpongeBob
Why are you wearing that funny thing on your head?
Well, because we can't breathe in Sandy's treedome, remember? It's filled with air.
SpongeBob
Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me. I almost for... [dries up and starts gasping for water] P-P-P-Patrick! Help me! I-I can't b-b-b-breathe! [Patrick puts a water helmet on SpongeBob's head]
There you go. [SpongeBob inhales and exhales]
SpongeBob
Thanks, Patrick. You're a lifesaver. Now that I haven't suffocated, it's high time I got back to this list of house-sitting duties. So without further ado, Patrick, [opens the door] I'd like you to please immediately exit the treedome.
E-Exit the... Exit the treedome?!
SpongeBob
That's right. Exit the tree...
Oh, SpongeBob, that's a great idea! Where should we go—Jellyfish Fields, Goo Lagoon, Barg'N-Mart, Lucky Larry's?
SpongeBob
Well, Lucky Larry's sounds fun.
SpongeBob
Hold it! I promised Sandy I'd take extra-special care of her treedome while she's at the Inventor's Convention today. And that is exactly what I intend to do. Patrick, this is a major responsibility.
Well, in that case, I'd better stay and help you.
SpongeBob
Nnnnope.
SpongeBob
Not gonna happen.
SpongeBob
No way.
Pretty please with a scoop of vanilla ice cream?
SpongeBob
[scoffs] Yeah, right.
Pretty please with a scoop of strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream, smothered in gooberberry sauce and topped with half a can of whipped topping?
SpongeBob
Patrick, what do you take me for?
SpongeBob
Deal.
SpongeBob
But you have to promise not to touch anything.
[raises his left hand] I, Patrick Star, hereby promise not to touch anything.
[SpongeBob is mopping the Krusty Krab floor when Squidward arrives]
Oh, SpongeBob, I got a present for you.
SpongeBob
[gives a big smile with twinkling eyes] A present? For me?
Now, now. Calm down. I've should've given this to you a long time ago. [knocks SpongeBob down and gives him the piece of paper]
SpongeBob
Wow, Squidward! My very own restraining order. Uh...what is that? [looks at the restraining order stating that he is not allowed to be within 15 feet of Squidward]
Perhaps my lawyers should explain. [points over to his lawyers Harry, Combover, and Bald]
SpongeBob
[calling on loudspeaker] Krabby Patties, brand new Krabby Patty recipe, all new, all different, all delicious, try them for free!
NNazz
You can't be serious.
[sighs] I'm so hungry, I don't care, I gotta eat something.
[touches her shoulder] Let him go, it's too late.
SpongeBob
All new free Krabby Patties!
Hey, buddy, I'll try one. What have I got to lose? [everyone gasps as Frank eats half of the Krabby Patty] Dear Neptune Gill Sacks, this is the best thing I every put in my mouth! Yay! [Frank's shirt turns pink, then goes back to normal]
NNazz
Did he just say it was good?
[finishes the other half of the Krabby Patty] Woohoo! [Frank dances]
Wow, Frank never dances, it must be good!
[everyone eats the Krabby Patties, Henry-Bart's eyes turn into a thumbs up, money comes out of his skin]
HBHenry-Bart
I'm getting something this amazing for free! How much will this buy? [Henry-Bart throws money on SpongeBob]
Yum yum! Yum yum yum yum! Yum yuuuum! [goes like a rocket; to SpongeBob] Hey you, patty boy, take my wallet, I gotta have more! [Frank goes in the stand and takes two Krabby Patties]
NNNat and Nazz
[their heads turn into arms and give a high-five] Now that's what I'm talking about! [their heads turn back to normal, they get a briefcase from their pockets]
Here's our life savings! Just give us more Krabby Patties! [Nat and Nazz dump the money on SpongeBob]
[cut to Plankton talking on a cellphone]
Don't worry, Karen, I'll be home before lunch time. My mission here is accomplished. [laughs, and then a dollar bill lands on Plankton] Ooh. What the... huh?! [gasps]
SpongeBob
It's working!
[to the customers] No, wait! What's going on? You hate Krabby Patties, remember?
DTDump truck driver
Wowee, this thing is right tasty.
[a dump truck prepares to dump money] Uh-oh. [the money lands on Plankton]
[a helicopter dumps a bag full of money on SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs is just walking and then a dollar lands on his nose. His eyes pop out and he screams so loudly, Plankton comes out of the money]
[while running towards the mountain of money] Money, money, money, money, money, money! [Mr. Krabs jumps on the money and laughs]
SpongeBob
We did it, Mr. Krabs! We saved the Krusty Krab! All I did was sell the same old Krabby Patties, and call them new!
Do you mind? I'm trying to make a money angel here.
SpongeBob
Ooh, money angels! Can I make one?
Sure thing, SpongeBob. Hop in!
[Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob laugh as they make money angels; they hear a high-pitched shrill coming from Plankton screaming because Mr. Krabs is sitting on him, and stop]
SpongeBob
Hear what?
Hm. Good point. [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob continue laughing as the episode ends]
[Patrick is dreaming he is in a large office room, silently fidgeting with objects on his desk. The phone beeps.]
TGTelephone Girl
Mr. Star, I have a SpongeBob SquarePants on line 3!
Put him through. [answers the phone]
SpongeBob
[through phone] Patrick! [cut back to reality. Patrick wakes up] Patrick! Patrick Star!
Oh, hey, buddy! You really need to clean up around here.
[Mr. Krabs turns on Karen's monitor. Then Karen's screen shows Loading]
She's loading up. Now let's see how this dial up thingy works. [places the telephone receiver on top of Karen and her screen shows an hourglass turning.] This thing does text mails right?
SpongeBob
Yeah, I think so.
[Karen's screen shows the words Karen Classic with her picture on it]
Oh, that sounds promising.
[Karen starts crying on her screen and scaring Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob]
Are computers supposed to emote!? No need to cry, little lady.
Don't tell me not to cry! [continues crying and scaring Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob again.]
SpongeBob
Must be the dial-up thingy!
You're right, must be interfering with her circuitry! [grabs the telephone and throws it against the wall destroying it in the process]
Oh, it's not the dial-up thingy. It's Plankton, he dumped me for a newer piece of hardware. [continues crying]
Help me out here, buddy. [pushes SpongeBob next to Karen]
SpongeBob
Hey, there. Dry those computer tears. I'm sure you two will get back together. Plankton just need some time to realize how much he needs you. I mean, you guys were made for each other. Well, you were made more for him and more specifically by him, and now, he's built someone with more modern features who's better in every way. There's no- what was my point again?
[sobs] You men are all alike! [hops off Mr. Krabs' desk and onto her mobile body. She hops out of the box and then rolls out of the office.]
Wait! Where ya goin’? Smooth, SpongeBob, real smooth.
[The scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick are walking in somewhere of Bikini Bottom. Patrick smiles]
SpongeBob
Patrick! Don't even smile. That's considered making a face.
Right, gotcha. [Patrick stop smiling] No problem. Not gonna make faces. No faces... at all.
SpongeBob
Yeah. This is... [gulps] easy. How you holding up?
Huh, fine. You? [SpongeBob grunts, but makes an T-shaped face and laughs, Patrick fails to keep a straight face and makes an ugly face] Dun ah eeh. [both SpongeBob and him are laughing, SpongeBob suddenly stops and looks at his himself]
SpongeBob
Hey! [Patrick is still ignoring him while laughing] Patrick. [Patrick is still laughing. SpongeBob pulls out a megaphone and yells at him] Patrick!
SpongeBob
Look at us. We're okay. Our faces didn't freeze.
[stretching through his eyes for a few times] Gosh, you're right.
SpongeBob
Guess, Mr. Krabs made a mistake. Well, now that we know his tall tale isn't true, let's make lots of faces.
You mean like this? [stretching] Ree eeh eeh!
[SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both, SpongeBob growls]
SpongeBob
[laughs] Aw!
[montage of SpongeBob and Patrick making grotesque faces]
SpongeBob
Ay yi yi yi yi yi!
SpongeBob
Doy doy doy doy!
SpongeBob
Duh!
SpongeBob
Awoot duh doo!
SpongeBob
Dah yah dah da dah! [he and Patrick both laugh]
SpongeBob
[wakes up and surprised] Wow, Patrick, you did hold that face all night!
Actually, I can't move my face at all.
SpongeBob
[feels on his face] I can't move my face either!
[oblivious and excited] Alright! We did it!
SpongeBob
No, Patrick! It's not alright, this means Mr. Krabs was right! [Patrick then realizes the situation and gets scared] Patrick, we have the "face freeze"! [both scream] Patrick, Sandy was right, we need help!
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
