Would it be all right if Gary and I did some laundry over here?
SpongeBobLaundry? But we used to do laundry!
And, uh... SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?
SpongeBob
[on the verge of breaking down] Soap? But we used to use soap! [holds up two different types of soap] Do you want Fresh Scent or Heavy Du...
SpongeBob
[breaks out in a fountain of tears, each falling into the separate soapboxes and lathering them up in his hand] GARY, PLEASE COME BACK GARY! GARY, PLEASE COME HOME! I'M A WRECK WITHOUT YOU! [stops crying] I know! If you come back, there'll be a new no-rules rule. You can do whatever you want, when you want! [runs up to the sofa and tears it up furiously] If you feel like ripping the sofa, then you rip it up! [runs up to the litter box] And the litter box? Forget about it! [he dumps the litter on his head] The world is your litter box! [he runs to the fridge and opens it] And you don't even have to wait around for me to feed you anymore! 24-hour fridge access! [he takes a milk carton and drinks it] And you don't even have to use a bowl! [he runs to a giant carving of Squidward] And I know how much you like my prized driftwood carving of Squidward. [scratches at it] Well, think of it as your own personal scratching post! What do you think, Gary? Won't it be fun, Gary? [we see SpongeBob has carved Squidward into a heart]
SpongeBob
Gary? [the heart breaks in half and one half hits him. The two walk to the laundry room]
[patronisingly] I'm sorry, SpongeBob. But Gary's with me now. You had your chance and you failed. You have to stop living in the past. Face it, SpongeBob, you're only hurting yourself. [he takes off his shorts and puts them in the machine; Gary crawls in after them] It's what Gary wants, and what Gary wants is me. Right, Gary? [Gary does not answer] Huh?
[The two notice Gary is in the machine, nudging in Patrick's shorts and crunching on something.]
He only liked me for my shorts!
SpongeBob
No, Patrick! He wanted the cookie in your pocket!
[Gary is indeed eating the cookie. He finishes it, pops out of the machine, and crawls back to SpongeBob]
SpongeBob
Gary? [Gary burps and happily meows] Whee! [hugs Gary] Oh, Gary, I knew you'd never leave me! Aww... [giggles, he takes his leash] Let's go for a walk, pal! [the two walk out of the house]
[left alone heartbroken and devastated] Gary? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL...!!! [the episode ends]
SpongeBob
Okay, Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?
SpongeBob
Whoo! And how many do I need to pass?
SpongeBob
[raising arms slowly] Whoo.
Hundred. [SpongeBob stops]
SpongeBob
What?
600. You need 600 to pass. You got six.
SpongeBob
Don't worry. I'll be all right, Mrs. Puff. Besides, this means that I get to be in your class for a whole 'nother year! [he slams his fist down, which causes a piece of the motor to fly upward] Well, see you next Tuesday! [SpongeBob walks off and the piece crashes on Mrs. Puff. She inflates like she always does when SpongeBob crashes. SpongeBob runs out to his unicycle-like bike] Yeah! [singing] I'm gonna get my driver's license and it's only gonna take one more year, one more year, one more super duper year. [goes around in circles on his bike] One more super-spectacular, extra-magical, extra-fantastical year! [Mrs. Puff looks on, still inflated]
[thinking] Oh, Neptune. Another year with him! Barnacles! Dirty barnacles! I've got to do something to save myself. Oh, there's only one way out: a teacher's ace in the hole! [starts to talk, when she does, she deflates to her normal size] ♪ Extra crediiiiit! ♪
SpongeBob
What was that, Mrs. Puff? [Mrs. Puff runs over and shakes him in joy]
Extra credit, SpongeBob! The extra credit! [laughing wildly] I still have a chance! I mean, you still have a chance.
SpongeBob
[muffled] What's extra credit?
It's when you get credit for the things you weren't able to do before.
SpongeBob
[singing] ♪ Oh… ♪
How long can she stay like that?
SpongeBob
I don't know.
SpongeBob
Wow, Sandy. You sure provided us wrong. I guess land creatures are better. [bubbles rise from Sandy's lips] At least until they need to breathe... [he, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs chuckle while Sandy angrily squints one eye at them] Yep, won't be long now.
[starts struggling to hold her breath] Mm?
SpongeBob
Feeling lightheaded yet?
SpongeBob
Remember this? [takes a deep breath in and out. Sandy is seen sweating profusely]
It's free! [also takes a deep breath in and out]
Oh, you mean for your chicken costumes?
[holding and eating popcorn] Hey, we are not chicken! [drops his popcorn] Huh! My popcorn! [begins pecking at it like a chicken]
SpongeBob
Yeah, we're not chicken, we'll do it. [looks at the water's surface and pokes his finger above the water] There! Mission accomplished!
Look, unless you can stay above water for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures!
SpongeBob
No way, San-day. We can take on your challenge.
SpongeBob
We're sea creatures!
SpongeBob
Okay. Well, this is it.
Wait, boy! [gives him a glass of water] Make it last.
SpongeBob
[drinks from it] Thanks, Mr. Krabs. Okay. Here I go! [the scene changes to live action as he gasps out of the water. He is now a real yellow kitchen sponge on a stick] Hey, this isn't so bad! We can do this! Hey, Patrick, come on up! The air is fine!
I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with. Cannonball! [jumps out of the water. He is now a real pink starfish, missing his trunks, on a stick] Hey, I lost my trunks! Hi, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob
All right, Pat! You made it! Come on up, Mr. Krabs! Up here!
All ashore that's going ashore, Mr. Squidward! Land ho! [runs up. He is a red rubber toy crab on a stick]
SpongeBob
Looking good, Mr. Krabs!
SpongeBob
Come on, Squidward! You're missing all the dry. Come on, Squidward!
AAll
[chanting] Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
Well, l'll do it, but I won’t like it. [walks up. He is a puppet octopus with his eyes and big nose. All stop chanting] What?
SpongeBob
Well, here we are! [all four are walking on the island]
I may keep a second rock up here!
Once you get your land legs, it's not so bad!
SpongeBob
We're the masters of land and sea! [a string puppet seagull lands in front of him] Hey, it's a local. Hi! We're from underwater! Do you know Sandy Cheeks? [the seagull looks at screen]
Three, two, one. Well, tan my fur! They made it! Better go congratulate them! [walks onto the island. She is now a real plush squirrel toy with a small, round plastic helmet on her head] SpongeBob? Patrick? Hmm, where do those critters get to? [sees the seagulls attacking all four of them; one of them is trying to eat Patrick, while the other is chasing SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward] [gasps] Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! Hiyah! [attacks the birds offscreen and feathers start flying. All five sink back down to the seabed, with Squidward upside-down]
SpongeBob
Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy.
You know, everyone's best at things.
SpongeBob
But no one's best at everything. Sorry I made you take off your helmet, Sandy.
Sorry I made you go up on dry land, SpongeBob.
Three cheers for feeling sorry for us! Hip hip...
SSeagulls
[lying injured on the island with their feathers missing] Hooray!
ZWZoo Worker 1
What's wrong with Clamu?
JJoe
Easy, girl! It's me, Joe! Remember?
[Clamu snarls as if it sounds like a belch and uses her tongue to throw Joe out of Oyster Stadium. Patrick and a nervous SpongeBob wait at the stands]
[Outside...]
AAnnouncer
Attention, zoo patrons! Clamu, the giant oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles. [everybody does that] Thanks for coming.
[In the stadium, Clamu is still smashing things and making snarling belch noises. The zoo worker goes up to SpongeBob and Patrick]
ZWZoo Worker 1
You boys better get out of this area, pronto! There's nothing more dangerous than an emotionalm ppppply disturbed oyster. [points at SpongeBob] You didn't do anything that might have caused this horrible tragedy, did you?
SpongeBob
Uh...
No way! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant. Right, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob
[hides the peanut bag] Right. [lets out a nervous shriek]
[Clamu chomps on a piece of metal. Cut to Patrick and SpongeBob leaving the zoo]
If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like "you" and "are", and..."a jerk"!
ZWZoo Worker 1
Mr. Krabs has stolen a very important item from the oyster. [rips off Mr. Krabs' clothes by accident] Behold! [the crowd gets disgusted] Wait a minute... [reveals Clamu's pearl] Behold! The oyster's pearl! [the crowd gasps in shock; the zoo worker then gives the pearl to Clamu] Here you go, girl.
[Clamu sniffs her pearl and the crowd cheers. But suddenly, the pearl starts to crack. And to everyone's amazement, it hatches into a baby oyster]
BOBaby Oyster
Mama. Mama.
SpongeBob
Mother of pearl! The oyster's a mother! And that pearl's no pearl, it's an egg!
[The baby oyster and Clamu embrace each other]
AAll
Awww... [they glare at Mr. Krabs]
[The crowd boos as they throw peanuts at Mr. Krabs, burying him, thus ending the episode]
[Cut to the morning where Mr. Krabs walks to work crying, and SpongeBob walks in laughing.]
SpongeBob
Takin' him to the cleaners! That's a hot one! [Mr. Krabs leans against the Krusty Krab doors] How'd the card game go last night, Mr. Krabs?
SpongeBob
Barnacles, Mr. Krabs! How much money did ya lose?
I didn't lose any money. [sheds away a tear] I lost...
SpongeBob
Don't tell me you lost the Krusty Krab!
I lost... [SpongeBob grabs him]
SpongeBob
Mr. Krabs, please tell me you didn't lose the... Krabby Patty secret formula!
I... lost... [points to SpongeBob] YOU!
SpongeBob
What?
I bet your contract, and I lost.
SpongeBob
[stares blankly, then laughs] Good one, Mr. Krabs. Well, I gotta go make those Krabby Patties. [begins to walk to the door, but Mr. Krabs' claw stops him. After continually walking and getting nowhere, he falls to the floor]
I'm afraid... you don't work here anymore.
[runs out the door to the two] Please tell me this isn't a joke.
SpongeBob
Go on, Mr. Krabs. Tell him. Tell him all about your cruel, sick joke.
[walks over] As much as I love cruel, sick jokes, I'm afraid he's not joking. [points at SpongeBob] You work for me now, SpongeBob. [whips out a bucket with the initials "CB" on it] Time to put on the official Chum Bucket bucket helmet. [jumps onto SpongeBob's head, kicks off the Krusty Krew hat and puts the bucket on his head. SpongeBob screams and runs to Mr. Krabs while knocking Plankton and the bucket off his head]
SpongeBob
But Mr. Krabs, I don't wanna work for him! [tugs at Krabs' shirt collar] I wanna work for you, here at the Krusty Krab! [he and Krabs start crying loudly and hug]
I'm sorry, boy! It's all my fault!
[pretending to sound genuinely sad] What kind of cold, heartless person would break apart such a loving relationship? [whips out a crowbar] I would! [jumps up and uses the crowbar to pry SpongeBob off Krabs. SpongeBob goes flying with Mr. Krabs' arms still clung to him]
SpongeBob
Mr. Krabs! [slams into a cage and Krabs' arms fly off him. Plankton walks over and shuts the door]
This is your greatest blunder, Krabs. For fifteen years, I've been throwin' those card games just waitin' for you to slip up. I may not have the precious Krabby Patty formula, but I've got the next best thing: the guy who makes 'em! [a propeller emerges from the cage] I'm gonna run you out of business, Krabs. [the propeller spins and pilots SpongeBob into the Chum Bucket]
SpongeBob
Mr. Krabs!
SpongeBob! [cries and then stops] Can I have my arms back? [Plankton walks over and throws the arms on Krabs' head.]
[SpongeBob draws a jellyfish in the ground with the giant pencil]
SpongeBob
It's a jellyfish!
Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
SpongeBob
Huh! Everybody's a critic.
[notices the jellyfish drawing is coming to life] SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
SpongeBob
[oblivious] Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
[pointing to the jellyfish] No, I mean it's swimming away!
SpongeBob
Do you know what this means, Patrick?
Your art can never hang in a museum.
[SpongeBob and Patrick fell into a hole drawn by DoodleBob]
DDoodleBob
[speaking gibberish] Me, hoy minoy! Neyoyoyminoy, ladyonmamoy!
SpongeBob
Come on, Patrick! Give me a boost up!
Can't we just stay down here where it's safe?..
SpongeBob
No way. I created this monster and I've got to stop him.
[A wrench drawn by DoodleBob falls on Patrick's head, making him dizzy]
SpongeBob
See what I mean, Patrick?
[dazed] Where's the leak, ma'am?
[Both try to climb up the hole, but they watch DoodleBob as he draws a bowling ball from a rock. He rolls it at Patrick, whose head turns into a bowling pin in shock] YAAAAAH...! [the bowling ball hits Patrick, transforming him into several pins. A "strike" symbol appears. The ball later rolls into the hole, hitting Patrick again. Another "strike" symbol appears for a double]
SpongeBob
You okay, Patrick?
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
