[Sheila is at an awareness campaign stand on a street]
SheilaHi! Hi! We are Retard Nation. Yeah, we're a local organization, but as the name suggests, we are going national. We're promoting the idea that people with Down's Syndrome need to reclaim their own identities in order to define themselves. So if you'd like to, you can make a donation or if you'd like to buy a t-shirt or just get signed--
MMMarket manager
What the hell is this?!
Sheila
Well, we're a local organization, Retard Nation--
MMMarket manager
Take it down now.
Sheila
Sir, I'm afraid I can't do that.
MMMarket manager
Lady, you're not gonna stand in front of my market with this goddamn sign. Pack it up now or I'll do it, all right?
Sheila
Sir, we will not be intimidated by normies.
MMMarket manager
By what?
Sheila
By normies.
MMMarket manager
Goddamn it, get this crap out of here.
Sheila
Don't!
MMMarket manager
All of it. Ma'am, I'm very sorry--
Sheila
Don't! Do not touch me in front of my market. This is hate speech. Get your hands off of me. [Chants] Me-tard, you-tard, retard nation.
[Debbie is at Sheila's house when Fiona calls and Debbie answers]
Debbie, you were just supposed to drop Liam there. Why aren't you at school? Are you sick?
No, no, no. Code pink at Sheila's. I'll explain later, okay?
Fine, explain later. But you're in big trouble.
Sheila
What's a code pink?
It's nothing. I was just trying to explain to Fiona Why I'm not at school. It's like a code word we have.
Sheila
Are you skipping school because of me?
I didn't want to go anyway. All anyone ever does is try to copy off me. But no one wants to sit with me at lunch. Everybody's mean. Middle school's stupid. Mean girls suck.
Sheila
My daughter's a mean girl. I don't know how it happened.
Sheila
But I'm her mother.
Hey, if how we turn out is all about how our mother is, then I'm pretty screwed, right?
Sheila
No, Frank, no. Come on. Don't get her involved in this.
Oh, calm down. She's got a good head for cons.
Sheila
Oh, God!
Why would two dykes offer double market value for this dump?
Not a scam. An investment.
Tribune named this neighborhood an up and comer. Alls anybody's talking about down at the Alibi.
Sheila
What?
Sheila
Hey, who was talking about sell... Are you going to sell this... Frank.
They may have female genitalia, but those lesbians are the man moving in on our territory. Oh, great. It used to be that a... that poor folks could get a-a decent apartment right near downtown. And then suddenly, it's moved 40 blocks south. And then 80 blocks. Where does it end?
Sheila
Well, maybe it ends with you and me in an RV seeing the country.
This is just like with the Jews. Ten years from now, they'll claim it "never happened," but it is happening. They want to move people in who can pay taxes. So they push us out. And eventually, we end up in a camp somewhere at the edge of civilization. Oh. A tent city built on old landfills and toxic waste sites. And then they start passing out the smallpox blankets.
Sheila
We could see Mount Rushmore. We could go see where the... where the aliens landed in New Mexico. Or, or, or we could see The Burning Man. And mostly, Frank, we could get away from Sammi. Please, Frank, please. Please don't fight me on this. Because she just brings something out in me. I don't fully understand it. I hate your daughter, Frank. And I'm willing to sell this house that I love to get away from her. It's hate. I hate her. I hate your daughter, Frank. And I'm willing to sell this house that I love to get away from her.
Shiela, I get it. Yeah. I get it. Sammi is a tough nut to learn to love. And if we're being honest, I have heretofore failed on that front myself. But I will not participate in the destruction of my neighborhood. No, I will be remain here on the South Side of Chicago, and launch my beer, which will be a far greater legacy than any "Burning Man" will ever be.
Sheila
I want to see The Burning Man! I don't get it. Is he alive and burning? Does he burn himself a little bit each day? I don't know how he burns or... I want to know.
[Sheila is confronting Sammi outside her trailer]
I hope you're here to apologize.
Sheila
I tried, Sammi. I've tried to be your friend. Because you're Frank's daughter, and Frank's my husband. But I realized today, I'm your step-mother. And so to be a good step-mother to you is to be a parent to you rather than a friend. So, as a parent, it's my responsibility to tell you that the reason people don't like you, and that your father doesn't want to be around you, is because you're very, very needy. I just think you should know that, and then you can work on it. You're needy and annoying. And slutty, and a bad mother. I think this belongs to Chuckie. :[Hands her a ziploc bag of feces]
Let us know if you hear of anyone nearby struggling to make ends meet or on disability - or headed for incarceration. [Hands Sheila a business card]
Sheila
Oh.
We'd like to buy as many homes as we can.
Sheila
Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, thank you! Thank you so much. [To Frank] That was one of the lesbians. [Holds up cheque] Okay, this is earnest money to buy this house, which means they're earnest! It's happening, Frank, whether you like it or not.
Oh, God. Oh, God. I, Oh, God, I can't, I'm, I'm sorry. I can't. I'm, I'm still too weak. I, What if, I have to stay close to my doctors and my family. Sammi and Chuckie need me, and Sammi is a train wreck. And Fiona and the kids-- I'm their dad. A home is a home, damn it. I died upstairs, and then I came back to life. I was reborn in this house. I'm practically the mayor of this place. Sheils, come on, you can't take that away from me. These few blocks, this neighborhood It's the only thing I've ever had. It's the only thing that's ever meant anything to me. I thought I was the only thing that ever meant anything to you. And you. Of course and you. Yeah, you're my everything. You are my dawn and my dusk. You're the sun. You're the moon. Sheila. Sheila, I'm begging you. Oh, fuck me.
Man with taste. [Chuckles, then clears throat] Oh, oh, um, listen, look, I-I really like you. You're a true gentleman, and I don't meet many of those, which is... why I want to take things slow.
I don't want to make the same mistakes that I have with the last 30 or 40 guys I've been with.
By "Take it slow," you mean we can get at it after I finish my water?
[Chuckles] Oh. No, no, I mean, you know go out on a few dates, get to know each other better.
But Frank promised you would bone me as soon as we got back to your trailer.
...
Sheila
[To Frank in the basement when he's engrossed in his beer still] Frank, I've decided when Ernie comes with the RV to tell him to turn it around and take it back home.
You're keeping the house?
Sheila
I want to be with you and reaffirm our commitment to our partnership
Oh, you... Oh, no, no, no, no. Maybe later.
[Sammi comes down to the basement]
Hey! You dangled me like a sex carrot to get brewery equipment?
You were lonely. I was killing two birds with one stone.
Sheila
You know, I don't like your tone.
He promised that man that I would put out on the first date!
I've seen you put out after the first drink.
[Sammi chases Frank up basement stairs with Sheila following leaving Hanzi behind, Sammi is on Frank's back pounding him outside in the street]
Sheila
Seriously, Frank...
...in a bottle of diarrhea!
Sheila
That is an unacceptable...
I am your flesh and blood!
Sheila
Do something, Frank!
She is nobody! All right, can the both of you...
I am your flesh and blood!
Both of you, just shut the fuck up?! Can't a man have one moment of peace?! Christ! I've got a raging lunatic succubus of a daughter, on one hand, and a lumpy, smothering pervert of a wife, on the other! And you are both driving me fucking insane!
Don't you "Daddy" me! You are needy! You are slutty! Your son is a lump of pure misery! And you have disgusting personal hygiene! And you!
Sheila
What?!
You are a certified whack job!
Sheila
What?!
You couldn't go out of your house for two years. You take great pleasure in shoving fake penises up the butts of the men you love! You banged the husband of your only daughter! You adopted a bunch of Indian kids, and who the fuck knows why?! And I cannot stand your unreasonably complicated cooking!
[Sammi starts crying]
Oh, Jesus Christ! Can't a man get one fucking minute of peace?! Just one minute?! [Sheila's house goes up in a total fireball explosion] Holy shit! Must've been the extra propane.
Where's Hanzi? [Hanzi's right leg comes down near Frank]
[RV dealer pulls up in brand new RV, who gets out astonished at the sight, says "Holy Mama", without saying a word to Frank, Sheila gets in and drives off]
...
[Lesbian couple is watching firefighters douse Sheila's house wreckage]
At least we won't have to pay for the demo.
RLRedhead Lesbian
Score. [They do high five]
Shameless · 903 quotes
