Dr. Doofenshmirtz quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Norm

Good morning, sir!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Eh...

Norm

One egg or two?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

None. I don't like the way you make them. You always leave the shells on!

Norm

I like mine crunchy!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Sure, it would be nice to have a son, I mean in addition, someone to have a nice game of catch with, but...

Norm

Sir, you can have a game of catch with me! I have always thought of you as my fath-

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Norm, you're in my light!

Norm

-ther.

Norm

You like playing ball with me, your son.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Really, I like that?

Norm

Yes.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

What else do I like?

Norm

Crunchy eggs for breakfast.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

I do? Man, what kind of weirdo am I?

Vanessa

"We"? Shouldn't you be playing with your platypus friend?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

What? And leave my little girl all alone in the? No way!

Vanessa

Dad, I'm not your little girl anymore. Look at me, I'm sixteen years old. Sixteen!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

You have to leave! It's not safe for little kids. I mean, for practically adults. Flee! Back to the city! Away from danger!

Vanessa

Like what?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[points to the bushes] Like that!

Perry

[pops out from the bushes in a bear costume and growls]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

See?

Vanessa

Alright, that's enough! Really, Perry, really? I expect more from you.

Perry

[looks down in shame]

Vanessa

[points her finger on her father] And you, Dad!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

But how did you-

Vanessa

Oh, please!

Perry

[whisting]

Vanessa

You come out here jumping around with your costume, and your lame book, and it's- It's just humiliating, Dad. I'm not your little girl anymore.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Well, you're my little girl.

Vanessa

I know, I know, but all I want to do is have a good time with my friends and you just keep popping me up. [Dr. Doofenshmirtz's sad face form] It's like you don't trust me.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[sighs] You're right. I'm sorry I got in your way. I know you can handle yourself, Vanessa. [He walks off sadly with Perry] Come on, Perry the Platypus. Maybe there's still time for a scheme today. You know. I won't even trap you, you can just start beating up right away.

Wait! I thought your dad was a pharmacist.

[to Dr. Doofensmirtz] You broke my Izer!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Inator! Inator!

Shut it!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

No, you shut it!

Aw, c'mon! This is so funny?!

Norm

I'm ack-berb

Norm

Ank-therb Ou-yerb.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Oh, is that Swedish?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Hey, aren't you Kelly Clarkson?

Yes, yes I am.

Phineas

You fiend, you think we're just gonna give it to you?!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Yes, yes I do.

Candace

Hey, let my people go!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Oh, guards! Seize her!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

It's gonna get hot in here! [rips off lab coat, leaving him in just his underwear]

Carl

Happy place! Happy place

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

My inator!?

?

Well, no Saul, no ball. Let's split.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Heads I win! Tails you lose!

Really Thats the best you got?

Kind of obvious.

Juvenile.

I liked it.

Buford

I just don't know what to do. There's a nerd-shaped hole in my heart. There's a nerd-shaped hole...

Baljeet

A bully-sized hole...

A big, honkin' hole in my heart!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Wait a second! You're singing?! I-I know what this means! You're leaving, aren't you?

And now, a trailer for an episode we also have no plan to make.

Baljeet

Pay attention up there!

Jerry the Platypus?

Phineas

Ferb, aren't those extinct?

Jeremy

As a matter of fact, I object to this union.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Yes, I'm just a guy who's a sucker for the sounds of mass transit.

The Chronicles of Meap, Episode 42.

Meap!

Meap Me in St. Louis.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Hey, wasn't that Suzy stuff supposed to be in this one?