Lawrence quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Lawrence

[about the snow cone machine] Well, you put some ice in here, give it a crank, add some syrup, and Bob's your uncle! Snow cones for everyone.

Lawrence

[rewinds cassette repeatedly] Fossils... da da da. Fossils... da da da. Fossils... da da da. Fossils... da da da. Fossils... da da da. Fossils...

Lawrence

Look, Linda, I can see this, let's see... 24 cross, 5 letters, where's blank?

Lawrence

Today Danville, tomorrow the world!

Lawrence

Well, this isn't much of a horror movie. Where are the rock and roll musical numbers?

[opening the window after hearing an engine and a loud horn] Oh, hey boys.

Phineas

Dad, you might want to wipe the queen off your face.

Oh, yeah. Thanks... Crickey! A monster truck!

Phineas

Yeah! Isn't it sweet? It's to help Candace how to parallel park and stuff. We figured if she learned how to drive one of these monsters, she'd have the confidence to drive anything.

Lawrence

Oh yeah, brilliant, but I'd better check with Mom about this... [calls Linda on his cellphone] Hello honey. Yes, yes. I love you too, darling. Are you aware that the boys have a monster truck in the backyard?

Linda

[at a cooking class] Honestly, you're as bad as Candace.

Lawrence

Okay, okay, just checking. [hangs up the phone] It's a go boys! I'll get your sister!

Phineas

Hey, Ferb! We should build a device that projects your dreams like a movie! I'd love to see what Perry dreams about.

Perry

[chatters]

Candace

Ooh, I almost forgot! Perry was in the dream too, dressed like a super-secret agent or something.

Ferb

Perhaps that's where he disappears to every day.

Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!

Candace

Hey, Wait, What are you doing? Hey!

Lawrence

Oh!

Linda

Oh!

Phineas

Wait a minute. What's going on? I haven't even finished my cereal!

Major Monogram

Agent P, your cover's been blown! You're going to have to relocate you!

Phineas

Ah, hey, Perry. What's wrong, boy? [pets him] You sounded like you were having a bad dream. It's okay now. Go back to sleep. [lies down and closes eyes, going back to sleep]

Phineas

What's that noise? Is that your stomach?

Phineas

Yeah, I'm hungry too. That trendy restaurant Mom and Dad took us to last night wasn't exactly satisfying.

Phineas

Dad, can I borrow your glasses? I can't see my entrée. You know, because it's so small?

Lawrence

[holding his glasses] Yes, I think we got that.

Candace

[Phone rings] S'up, Stace?

Stacy

Candace, are you sitting down? I don't want you to have an aneurysm.

Candace

Why would I have an aneurysm?

Stacy

Someone just IM'd me that someone else heard someone else overhear that Jeremy is gonna call you and ask you out for a special evening tonight! [Both squeal] Candace, do you need medical attention?

Candace

Oh, I need attention from the doctor of love!

Stacy

Paging Dr. Jeremy.

Candace

Doctor. I got a fever.

Stacy

[Deep voice] Well, let me take care of that, little lady.

Candace

Wow. A special evening. [Phone beeps] It's my call waiting.

Linda

Honey, just calling to remind you- [Phone beeps]

Candace

Uh, it wasn't him.

Stacy

Don't worry, he'll call.

Buford

You're not on the list. You should have made a reservation yesterday.

Candace

This restaurant didn't exist yesterday. I demand to be let in right now.

Buford

Good evening, sir.

Doofenshmirtz

Oh, I forgot to make a reservation. [Slips Buford some money]

Buford

No problem, dude.

Candace

Did that guy just bribe you?

Buford

He didn't bribe me. He just caught my attention in a monetary fashion. Now, back in line.

Phineas

Ferb, you must have left your skateboard in England the last time we were there. I know! We could create a highly intricate and sophisticated machine that will transport any object from anywhere on the globe to our backyard!

Lawrence

Why don't you just build a new skateboard?

Phineas

Nah, I don't think so.

Ferb

If it's all the same with you, Father, we're going to build the machine.

Lawrence

Well, I am a little rusty on my Hawaiian, but here goes. Buenas dias, señor. Me llamo Lawrence. [Spanish for 'Good day, sir. My name is Lawrence.']

Candace

Buenos días, Lawrence. [Spanish for 'Good morning, Lawrence.']

Lawrence

Good morning, Candace.

Oh, no no. That's not necessary. We speak in English here. Hawaii is part of the United States.

Lawrence

Is it really? How remarkable.

Cool!

No, Fender, that's not until the party.

Lawrence

YIKES!

Linda

Candace?

Candace

Mom!

Linda

Candace, is that you? I can barely hear you! What's all that noise? [through the other end of the phone] Candace, are you having a party?!

Candace

No, no, no, no, Mom! It's not a party, It's an intimate get together!

Candace party! Candace party!

Candace

SHUT UP!

Linda

Lawrence, there's something weird going on at home. I'm afraid we're gonna have to cancel our trip and head right back. [sighs]

Lawrence

Oh, would you like to yank my chain?

Linda

Yes, yes I would.

Lawrence

That's what I love about you Americans, you're like big fun children.

Linda

Yes, yes we are.

Phineas

So, how did it go Dad?

Lawrence

I'm not absolutely sure, boys, but I think I just became the king of the pharmacists.

Phineas

Awesome!

Lawrence

Goodbye, boys. Have a great day. I'm off to work.

Phineas

Goodbye, Dad, have fun buying from auctions and private sales performing minor refurbishments to the purchase items, marking up the prices and selling them to your customers.

Ferb

Our dad sells antiques.