Linda quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Linda

Well, a musical act goes to the top of the chart with a catchy tune and meaningless lyrics. Then they throw a big diva tantrum, lose their label, then face obscurity. Before they know it, their song is... elevator music. Years later, they have a reunion concert, and after that, they never sing again, and no one remembers them. [tears up, but quickly wipes away tears] Not that I would know anything about that.

Linda

[to Candace] Honey, close your mouth.

Linda

Oops!

Candace

Mom! Finally, indisputable photographic evidence of dangerous and irresponsible behavior!

Linda

Candace, this is your thumb in front of the lens.

Candace

Is it the mall?

Linda

No.

Candace

Okay. [beat] But it's the mall, right?

[opening the window after hearing an engine and a loud horn] Oh, hey boys.

Phineas

Dad, you might want to wipe the queen off your face.

Oh, yeah. Thanks... Crickey! A monster truck!

Phineas

Yeah! Isn't it sweet? It's to help Candace how to parallel park and stuff. We figured if she learned how to drive one of these monsters, she'd have the confidence to drive anything.

Lawrence

Oh yeah, brilliant, but I'd better check with Mom about this... [calls Linda on his cellphone] Hello honey. Yes, yes. I love you too, darling. Are you aware that the boys have a monster truck in the backyard?

Linda

[at a cooking class] Honestly, you're as bad as Candace.

Lawrence

Okay, okay, just checking. [hangs up the phone] It's a go boys! I'll get your sister!

Phineas

We beat ya! You're big old purple pickled eggs!

Stacy

[annoyed] You were out of your tree!

Candace

[annoyed too] Yes! We were first!

Phineas

Nuh-uh! We were!

We were!

Phineas

We were!

Linda

Look like you're having fun

Phineas

Well Mom, you know what they say... [Candace and Stacy hit him with a water balloon]

Ferb

Fun never falls too far from the treehouse. [gets hit by a water balloon]

Candace

MOM! Look! Look, look, in the backyard. Look! They've done it again.

Linda

Just let me drop off the groceries.

Isabella

This was the best ride ever, guys.

Oh, that was very fabulous ride. Now can you send us back to space station perhaps?

Erimnevop Yelsgnik Nad.

Candace

[With her eyes closed] Look, look, look! OK, tell me you don't see a giant, enormous Ferris wheel in the backyard!

Linda

All right, I don't see a giant, enormous Ferris wheel in the backyard.

Phineas

Hi, Mom.

Linda

Hi, kids.

Candace

"Why don't you come in for snacks?"

Linda

Why don't you come in for some snacks?

Candace

"Oh, there you are, Perry."

Phineas

Oh, there you are, Perry.

Candace

And Ferb says...

Ferb

You know, gladiators were Roman, not Greek.

Candace

[sighs] It's always the same thing every day.

Candace

The same insane routine. My life is like a bad sitcom.

Candace

"Hi, Mom."

Phineas

Hi, Mom!

Candace

"Oh, there you are, Perry."

Phineas

Oh, there you, Perry.

Candace

And Ferb says...

Ferb

And that's why I never wear suspenders in public.

Candace

"Now for some snacks."

Linda

Why do you kids come inside for some pie?

Candace

Yeah, I'll take some pie. Now you can understand my pain. Want some pie?

Candace

Mom, come on, come on! The boys built a giant roller rink in the back yard! [the rink is turned into a giant loaf of bread] Uhh, giant loaf of bread?

Phineas

[shrugs] I dunno.

Candace

Mom! Mom! The boys built a giant loaf of bread in the backyard!

Linda

What? I thought you said it was a roller rink.

Candace

It was, but now it's a loaf of bread! Come on, come on! See? :[A flock of magpies eat the loaf]

Linda

Candace, what are you talking about?

Candace

B-b-but....

Linda

Boys, I think she's finally lost it.

Linda

[To Jeremy] Why don't you watch some TV while you wait? Oh, hey. I've got some great baby movies of Candace. [baby cooing] Oh! There she is in the bathtub. [bubbles gurgle] Oops! Little bubbles.

Mom! Remember what we talked about? My fifth-grade graduation?

Linda

Fifth-grade graduation? What is she talking about?

Ugh! Just turn off the home movies!

Candace

[With her eyes closed] See?! see?! It's right there!

Linda

Oh, my goodness! [At this point, Candace gets a shocked expression on her face] Did you make these?

Phineas

Uh... yeah.

Linda

[gasps] These are so much nicer than the ones I lost! [a fly buzzes and gets zapped by Linda's new "earrings"]

Phineas

Awesome.

Linda

Thanks, boys. [at Candace, whose jaw has dropped, closing her mouth] Close your mouth, honey. You'll catch flies.

Do you think he'll be...

Phineas

[juggling corn dogs with Ferb] Corn dog, corn dog, yummy yummy yummy!

Okay. Where did you get the-- Mom! Dad! Thank goodness! The strangest thing just happened.

Linda

[in Baljeet's voice] Fear not. Your parents are here now.

Huh?

Baljeet

The real shock is you're just noticing this now.

What?

I'm just as confused as you are, Kevin.

Jeremy

Candace, since I have no idea what will happen next, I need to tell you something. [holds onto Candance's hands] I love you, Candace Flynn. Will you marry me?

Oh, Jeremy! I always dreamt- Wait a minute. That's it! I'm dreaming!

Jeremy

That would explain the talking zebra.

Nah, I see him all the time. This, this is actually the freaky part. And it's all just been one...big...

Dream! [pause] So none of that really happened. I never actually busted Phineas and Ferb. I am so happy.

Phineas

Hey, Ferb! We should build a device that projects your dreams like a movie! I'd love to see what Perry dreams about.

Perry

[chatters]

Candace

Ooh, I almost forgot! Perry was in the dream too, dressed like a super-secret agent or something.

Ferb

Perhaps that's where he disappears to every day.

Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!

Candace

Hey, Wait, What are you doing? Hey!

Lawrence

Oh!

Linda

Oh!

Phineas

Wait a minute. What's going on? I haven't even finished my cereal!

Major Monogram

Agent P, your cover's been blown! You're going to have to relocate you!

Phineas

Ah, hey, Perry. What's wrong, boy? [pets him] You sounded like you were having a bad dream. It's okay now. Go back to sleep. [lies down and closes eyes, going back to sleep]

Phineas

What's that noise? Is that your stomach?

Phineas

Yeah, I'm hungry too. That trendy restaurant Mom and Dad took us to last night wasn't exactly satisfying.

Phineas

Dad, can I borrow your glasses? I can't see my entrée. You know, because it's so small?

Lawrence

[holding his glasses] Yes, I think we got that.

Candace

[Phone rings] S'up, Stace?

Stacy

Candace, are you sitting down? I don't want you to have an aneurysm.

Candace

Why would I have an aneurysm?

Stacy

Someone just IM'd me that someone else heard someone else overhear that Jeremy is gonna call you and ask you out for a special evening tonight! [Both squeal] Candace, do you need medical attention?

Candace

Oh, I need attention from the doctor of love!

Stacy

Paging Dr. Jeremy.

Candace

Doctor. I got a fever.

Stacy

[Deep voice] Well, let me take care of that, little lady.

Candace

Wow. A special evening. [Phone beeps] It's my call waiting.

Linda

Honey, just calling to remind you- [Phone beeps]

Candace

Uh, it wasn't him.

Stacy

Don't worry, he'll call.

Buford

You're not on the list. You should have made a reservation yesterday.

Candace

This restaurant didn't exist yesterday. I demand to be let in right now.

Buford

Good evening, sir.

Doofenshmirtz

Oh, I forgot to make a reservation. [Slips Buford some money]

Buford

No problem, dude.

Candace

Did that guy just bribe you?

Buford

He didn't bribe me. He just caught my attention in a monetary fashion. Now, back in line.