Vanessa quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Candace

Argh! My brothers are just driving me crazy!

Vanessa

You should try spending an hour with my dad sometime.

Phineas

Ferb, you're usually so focused; how did you get those plans confused?

Vanessa

Hey, how's it going?

Phineas

Hey Ferb, snap out of it. What happened back there?

Ferb

I...was weak.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

... then no one can stop the wraith of Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz!

Vanessa

Doctor? Since when are you a doctor?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[shows Vanessa a doctorate certificate with a price tag on it] They don't just give these to anybody you know.

Vanessa

Anybody with $15, they do...

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[swipes it away from her] Ok that's enough looking!

Linda

Ferb, honey, aren't you a little old to be playing in the ball pit?

Ferb

[vacuuming through the ball pit] Yes, yes I am.

Linda

Okay, then.

Vanessa

Your name is Ferb?

Ferb

Well, yes. It's short for— [retrieves Pizzazium Infinionite rod with the vacuum] Oh, here it is.

Doofenshmirtz

[giving the Mary McGuffin doll to Vanessa] Remember when you said that you wanted a Mary McGuffin doll, I be the world's greatest dad?

Vanessa

[flatly] Yeah, when I was, like, seven.

Doofenshmirtz

At last, I have found one. I've been spending years scourging the Internet and the garage sales trying to find the discontinued doll.

Vanessa

[surprised by this revelation] Wow, I can't believe you remembered that I wanted this.

Doofenshmirtz

Remembered? I never stopped looking.

Vanessa

Really?

Doofenshmirtz

You know, I may be an evil scientist, but it doesn't take a degree purchsed off the Internet with your ex-wife's moeny to show how important you are to me.

Vanessa

[smiles] That's so sweet.

Doofenshmirtz

Well, I better run. I bought a used -inator from the garage sale and it's missing a part.

Vanessa

Really? What does it do?

Doofenshmirtz

I don't know yet. It's missing a part. But whatever it is, I'm sure it will be pure evil.

Vanessa

[looks at the doll and smiles again] Well, at least, you're not evil.

Look! She's perfect, And I just love her!

Candace

Oh, forget it! I guess I'm just too old for dolls anyway.

Vanessa

Yeah, maybe I don't really have to have the one object that my dad spent years finding in order to show me his affection...

Vanessa

No, actually, I do. [snatches the doll from Sally] Gimme that, kid! [walks away with the doll, causing Sally to cry]

Doofenshmirtz

So you just took it from the little girl, and left her there crying?! Wow, that is evil! Honey, I am so proud of you! It felt good, didn't it? Yeah, we can build on this.

Vanessa

[singing] Not so bad a dad after all!

Vanessa

[arriving to her dad's place] Hey, Dad. I just got this cool lemonade from the stand down the street. It's really sour. You wanna- [slips on a piece of paper] Oh! [loses the lemonade and falls]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[The lemonade spills on him, causing a lot of pain on his paper cuts] OW, THAT SMARTS, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!

Vanessa

[feeling uneasy] Uh.. Dad? You do know he's not here, right?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Yeah, but I'm sure it's his fault.

Vanessa

Ferb?

Ferb

Vanessa?

Phineas

No matter where we go, Ferb knows everyone.

Vanessa

Thanks, guys.

Phineas

It's a good thing we came along when we did. So where do we drop you?

Vanessa

I don't know. Where are you guys going?

Phineas

Well, we're off to Paris to refuel then back to Danville.

Vanessa

Can I just come with you?

Phineas

Sure.

Vanessa

[holds out of what it looks like to be a pistol] Hold it right there! [aims it at Monogram] Step away from evil scientist!

Doofenshmirtz

[surprised by this] Vanessa, I'm so proud of you! [Vanessa escorts him to Perry's hovercraft] You are evil.

Vanessa

I'm not evil! Just get in the car before they find out this is only a hairdryer. [both Vanessa and her father board the hovercraft and fly away]

Doofenshmirtz

This is a hairdryer?

Vanessa

Yeah, I got in Tokyo.

Doofenshmirtz

Cool. But they didn't know it was a hairdryer when you pointed at them, so that means you're a little evil.

Vanessa

Okay, Dad. Maybe I'm a little evil.

Doofenshmirtz

I KNEW IT! [burst into tears of joy, and Vanessa gives him a handkerchief] It's okay. I'm not gonna cry...

Vanessa

[smiles sheepishly] Dad.....

Monogram

[seeing the Doofenshmirtzes escape] Well, guess we could kiss that pair of handcuffs goodbye. [to Perry] Don't know about you, but I'm gonna take a review. [leaves off] See you back at the States!

Doofenshmirtz

Lucky, ?

Vanessa

This is come up there come from.

Roger

Inner, not again?

Phineas

This is Uncle Nemo.

Roger

Nemo?

Vanessa

Yes, Dad?

Doofenshmirtz

PERRY THE PLATYPUS ALMOST ATE GUM OFF THE SIDEWALK!

Vanessa

Is that what you called to tell me?

Doofenshmirtz

No, no. I- I just called to remind you that I will be picking up you and your Visigoth friends up after the dance.

Vanessa

Dad, it's goths, not Visigoths. And they're punks, not goths.

Your dad's kinda cool.

Vanessa

You're my punk-rock boyfriend! You're not supposed to think my dad is cool! [walks up to the DJ box] It only matters that I think he's cool. [smiles and kisses her father on the cheek]

Doofenshmirtz

She thinks I'm COOL! [the audience cheers, and Vanessa joins in, waving her hands to everyone]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Oh, Vanessa! Thank goodness you're here! A platypus has tied me up in my own pants!

Vanessa

How did my life get to the point where that is not a strange sentence to me?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

"I'm your daughter. I will stop being sarcastic and untie you."

Vanessa

"We"? Shouldn't you be playing with your platypus friend?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

What? And leave my little girl all alone in the? No way!

Vanessa

Dad, I'm not your little girl anymore. Look at me, I'm sixteen years old. Sixteen!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

You have to leave! It's not safe for little kids. I mean, for practically adults. Flee! Back to the city! Away from danger!

Vanessa

Like what?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[points to the bushes] Like that!

Perry

[pops out from the bushes in a bear costume and growls]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

See?

Vanessa

Alright, that's enough! Really, Perry, really? I expect more from you.

Perry

[looks down in shame]

Vanessa

[points her finger on her father] And you, Dad!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

But how did you-

Vanessa

Oh, please!

Perry

[whisting]

Vanessa

You come out here jumping around with your costume, and your lame book, and it's- It's just humiliating, Dad. I'm not your little girl anymore.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Well, you're my little girl.

Vanessa

I know, I know, but all I want to do is have a good time with my friends and you just keep popping me up. [Dr. Doofenshmirtz's sad face form] It's like you don't trust me.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[sighs] You're right. I'm sorry I got in your way. I know you can handle yourself, Vanessa. [He walks off sadly with Perry] Come on, Perry the Platypus. Maybe there's still time for a scheme today. You know. I won't even trap you, you can just start beating up right away.

Wait! I thought your dad was a pharmacist.

Vanessa

Yes?

Candace

Vanessa?

Vanessa

Doofenshmirtz is my last name, Heinz is my Dad.

Candace

Doofenshmirtz, what's that like Chinese?

Vanessa

It's Drusselsteinian.

Candace

Right, from Drusselsteinia.

Vanessa

I'm heading over my dad's house if you want to look for your book.

Candace

Cool.