TiaThat's perfect, Seth. Thank you. Whoa. Walk away. Uh, earth to Seth.
I'll take some pepper, Seth.
And even though the sun's set, you've filled my heart with light.
Uh...David Butler Thurmond.
Aah! Aren't you clever? Oh, shug, you got a dangler. I think It's puddin'. All better. See ya after school.
Tia
Uh, hello...Yeah, what was that about?
What? Oh, Marla. Yeah, we're gonna study together for Ginsberg's poetry test.
Phil, do you like that girl?
Like her? No, you mean like--no, I barely know her.
Tia
Yeah, well, she likes you.
Phil, I'm the last guy to get stuff. But I think Tia's right. That Marla likes you!
Guys, she dropped one of her books, and I gave her a hand. That's all.
Phil, let me clue you in. When you do things for a girl, they have meanings.
Like, if you carry her books, that means you're interested.
Tia
If you open the door for her...
That means you're interested, but currently seeing someone.
Tia
Giving somebody cuts in line...
Front cuts mean you think she's cute. Back cuts...
Oh, don't worry. I'm jotting all this down for us.
Are you on page 12 yet? What are you doing?
Scrapbookin'. This one's gonna go right on the cover of my Phil Diffy edition.
Marla, the poetry test is on Friday. Okay? So we really need to buckle down. You see, buckle down is a metaphor for studying. And a metaphor is...
A comparison. But a simile is a comparison usin' the words "like" or "as."
Ms. Phipps is as crusty as a piece of toast.
And you are as funny as a mule in a bow tie.
Tia
Ah ah ah...Phil, whatever you do, don't try to make her laugh.
I wasn't trying to make you laugh. I was just...Trying to give you an example of a simile. Are you on page 12 yet?
These are the rules, Phil. No matter what you do, don't take anything from her. Gum, mints, nuts of any kind--it all means one thing...Commitment.
I'm really not interested in nuts, mints, gum of any kind.
Tia
Ugh, hold the anchovy. I hate those salty little devils.
(Imitating Marla) My stars, It's that heartthrob Phil Diffy!
Tia
Come here, shug. You got a big ol' dangler.
Yeah, I know. You know what? I think I've, uh, actually taken care of the Marla situation. I gave her nothing to misinterpret. In fact, I think I've heard the last of ol' Marla.
MMan
(Trumpeting Fanfare) Ahem. Hear ye, hear ye. Be it proclaimed throughout this land, H.G. Wells junior-senior high, that maiden Marla loves squire Phil.
MMan
May their passion be borne on the wings of a thousand doves. This love decree hath ended. Yo, chief, you know where I can grab a cab?
Not a clue. Well, how about that? Marla must have met another guy named Phil.
I don't think so, squire.
Phil? You have to do something. You have to talk to her.
Tia
Forget talk. Kick her to the curb.
I have to break up with her? Well, how? I--I...
Don't look at me. I've never broken up with anybody.
Tia
Look, It's a snap. You know the guy I'm going out with, Mikey Watson?
Mikey Watson. A.K.A...The luckiest guy in the ninth grade. I've heard of him.
Tia
I was gonna cut him loose on Monday anyway, but if this helps...Hey, Mikey! These last few weeks have been huge, but we're done.
Tia
See? Painless.
Tia
Oh, no. This can't be right. According to my organizer, i'm a loser!
Tia
Yep. I'm totally free this weekend.
(Grunts) You? You are totally free? Nothing? I find that hard to believe.
Oh! Problem solved! You're going to festapalooza.
Tia
I didn't know it was this weekend. There's gonna be, like, 50 bands there.
Festa...Festapalooza! No way! Festapalooza is legendary. Murray Van Peltin stir-fries his guitar on stage. (Imitates Electric Guitar) And then serves it to the needy. It was crazy!
Tia
How do you know that?
Tia
Well, the concert's not till saturday. How would you know what happens?
Um...Phil gets his tenses confused when he's tired. Sometimes he uses the past tense, sometimes he uses the future tense. Sometimes he's just tense.
I'm hoping that murray, you know, stir-fries his guitar...On stage...Because as we know...That would be really good for the needy. So, I wonder how much tickets are?
That guy is good. I could have used him during my ceramics quiz.
So, what's this business idea of yours?
All right. What's the one thing that pickford is bustling with?
Tomatoes, and...Dogs! Huh? Little ones, big ones, skinny ones, fat ones.
Hairy ones, bald ones, small ones, tall ones. Sorry. I thought we were playing a word game.
And what's the one thing that all dogs have in common?
(Gasps) They...You know. Ugh.
Exactly! At least once a day! And all owners hate to scoop. That's where we come in. We do the job that no one wants to do.
Okay, but can't we offer more service than that?
Phil! I can't just go to a dog's house and not play with them.
Fine. We are a full-service doggy day care. See, the way i figure it, we can have those festapalooza tickets in a couple of days.
Tia
Hey, Guys. I just got my ticket. Oh, are you guys still coming to the concert?
Absolutely. Hey, we just started a doggy scooping business. What to join?
Tia
And...I'm out.
It's not just poop! We're full service!
Hey, her loss, right? We're gonna have fun. We'll be our own bosses. We'll be out in the fresh...Almost fresh air! Which reminds me, I actually got Curtis to do some of the dirty work. Hey, C-Man! (Chuckles)
I think it just may be his calling.
I got my travel wipes, and 2 quarters duct-taped to my calves in case my cell phone doesn't work.
What about that giant foam finger of yours?
(Gasps) Chunks and scraps! I forgot it!
Phil, is there a frog following us?
He's probably trying to follow us to the concert.
FFrog
(Croaks) (Croaking)
Okay, but i'm not sure it'll work on amphibians.
FFrog
I've been looking all over for you, Guys. Mad Max is straight buggin'!
Really? What's wrong with him?
FFrog
I don't know. He busted out of his crib. Said nobody cares. Talkin' about makin' a fresh start somewhere.
But he just came by to see me. I thought he was going home.
Wait, Phil, you knew he was upset, and you just left him?
No! No, I mean...I gave him a sock.
He could get lost! He could get hurt!
FFrog
Yo, he could get jacked.
Yeah, he could get jacked!
All right, Keely, we'll go to the concert. Then, after we get back, if he's still gone, we'll go and look for him.
(Sighs) Do what you want. I'm outta here.
Wait, no...Keely! But he's just a dog!
Tia
Yoo-hoo! Yeah, the concert's this way. If she's going home to change outfits...I don't blame her.
No, she's all upset about this dog Max. I--I don't know what she's so freaked out about.
Tia
That's Keely. I've known her since the first grade. Yeah, she probably thinks she's doing the right thing.
Tia
(Sighs) See, Phil, there are 2 types of people in this world--people like Keely, who are always thinking about other people. Then there are people like us, who i call...Happy people.
So you can't...Do the right thing and be happy?
Tia
Well, all i know is my way works. Hey, now, you probably won't be able to get backstage. So i'll see you back at school on...Monday. At least let me sell your tickets! (Scoffs) Unhappy person.
Phil of the Future · 136 quotes
