Debbie quotes from Phil of the Future

Debbie

Okay. That's close enough.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

As you know, Friday is our big recital. Our performance will feature a talented young soloist who will sing a wonderful song.

Pim

(Gongs)

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Pim, I said, "song," not "gong."

Pim

(Gongs) Gotta speak up! There's a lot of noise back here.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Anywho...Without further ado, let me introduce our lovely soloist, Miss Deborah Berwick.

Pim

(Muttering)

Debbie

Bradley Benjamin Farmer! How are you?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Debbie, you haven't aged a bit. I haven't seen you in so long.

Pim

(Gongs)

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

I said, "long"!

Debbie

Is that Pim Diffy on gong?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Tell me you don't know her. Please tell me you don't know her.

Debbie

Oh, of course I know Pim! She's a treasure. Hi!

Pim

Hey, Debbie. I jumped a couple of those gongs, but don't worry, I'll nail it tomorrow night at the concert. Who knew a hobby could be so much fun? Down the road, Farmer.

Debbie

Um, to spare Pim some embarrassment, I think she should miss the concert tomorrow night. She'll thank us later.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Brilliant.

Debbie

Good luck telling her.

Debbie

Thank you. Thank you. You're too kind. Thank you. Pim, what are you doing here?

Pim

Bradley had an emergency. He ran out of hair gel. Asked me to fill in. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This first piece I will conduct was written a long time ago by a dead guy. I hope you enjoy it.

Debbie

(Singing) Give my regards to broadway remember me to herald square.

Debbie

(Singing) Tell all the gang at 42nd street that I will soon be there.

Debbie

(Singing) Whisper of how I'm yearning to mingle with the old-time throng.

Debbie

(Singing) Give my regards to old broadway and say that I'll be there I'll be there I'll be there e'er long. (Holding Last Note)

Debbie

(Still Holding Last Note) Thank you.

Pim

How could this happen? They love you.

Debbie

Because you challenged me. You took my singing to a whole new height! Thank you.

Pim

Berwick! Let me guess what's going on here. Hot coffee, sports section, standing outside Mr. Hackett's office...You're either a: Loopy, B: The world's biggest, kiss-up, or C: A combo platter.

Debbie

Pim, I do this for all my teachers. In fact, would you like to run up a pastry to Miss Soletti's office?

Pim

Uh, no.

Mr. Hackett

I know it's expensive, but i have to have the operation.

Debbie

Eavesdropping is wrong for 7 reasons, and i'll explain why. First--

Pim

(Hushed Voice) Debbie, shush!

Mr. Hackett

Well, if i don't have the operation, my life will be worthless. Just a big zilch-o.

Debbie

Oh, my gosh! Pim, Mr. Hackett is sick and needs an operation. You know what this calls for? A fund-raiser!

Pim

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Every time someone needs help, you're all "I'll help you," and i'm all "Get over it," and you're all, "To the fund-raising mobile!"

Debbie

Okay, Pim. That's okay. Fund-raising isn't for everybody.

Pim

What is she saying? That i can't fund-raise? Well, it's on, Berwick!

Debbie

What's on?

Pim

Stop that.

Mr. Hackett

The only procedure i can afford is the 106. Yeah, that's not a hair replacement system. That's a toilet seat cover parted down the middle. No, no, no...I want it. Yeah, okay. Uh, I will still attract big norwegian women, like the guy on the cover, right? Oh, Maurice, you hound dog!

Debbie

Fun baskets, $5.00. Get your fun baskets! $5.00. It's for a really good cause. Oh, hi, Morton. Let me tell you a little bit about today's fund-raiser. I'm raising money for a teacher who's very, very sick. (Whispering) He doesn't look good. Thank you, Morton. You're good people.

Thanks, Debbie.

Debbie

Fun baskets. (Gasps) Hi, Pim. My baskets are really moving. How much have you raised?

Pim

Squat. Leave me alone.

Debbie

Mr. Hackett, i'm going to say this quick, otherwise i'm going to start crying.

Pim

Here we go with the tears.

Debbie

(Quietly) Thank you. We want you to have this money. It's $110.

Pim

My jar is $115.

Mr. Hackett

So...This is wonderful. Thank you. Why on earth would you be doing this?

Pim

Cut the hero act. We know about the operation.

Mr. Hackett

You do?

Debbie

Yes. And we want you to be brave and know that we support you.

Mr. Hackett

I can see that.

Debbie

Are you scared?

Mr. Hackett

A little. Thank you. I love public service.

Mr. Hackett

I'm telling you, Maurice. I am loved here. The students are standing in line to hand me jars of money. Which is, of course, what allowed me to upgrade to the 211.

Debbie

Excuse us, Mr. Hackett, but we wanted to wish you good luck on--what is growing out of your head?

Pim

Wait a minute. That's your operation? I busted my hump so you could get a wig?!

Mr. Hackett

It's not a wig. It's the lorenzo lamas.

Debbie

Uh, no disrespect, Mr. Hackett, but i'm going to have to give my money to a needier charity.

Pim

Yeah, ditto. I'm giving mine to the Pim Diffy needs a high-definition TV foundation. You disgust me.

Mr. Hackett

Hey, wait a minute. How am i supposed to pay for this? I mean, Maurice, I can pay for this. Just, you know, maybe not all at once. What are you doing? Don't get quiet on me, Maurice. Don't leave! Maurice? I'm only 1/2 a lamas.

Pim

I got it! I got it! Whoo! Whoo! Hey, Berwick. I'm still not seeing how playing catch with yourself is an olympic sport.

Debbie

Nana says...That if setting the table was in the olympics, i'd take the gold. Yay! Twistie, twist...

Pim

Diffy goes back...

Debbie

Finished!

Pim

To the wall!

Debbie

Pim!

Pim

Whoa! Aah!

Debbie

Pim! Oh, cloudy skies! I hurt my pimsy!

Pim

Nope. i'm good.

Debbie

Swell, 'cause if you were hurt, you'd have to miss the rest of gym class!

Pim

Nope! I'm damaged! Girl down! Girl down!

Debbie

If it turns out i injured you in any way, i'll never forgive myself!

Pim

Whatever. We're out of gym.

Debbie

I--I--I mean it, Pim. I'll carry your books. I'll hold your food tray. You won't need to lift a finger until that ankle is healed.

Pim

Now that you mention it, i'm feeling pretty bad. They may have to helicopter me to one of those fancy ankle hospitals.

Hello? Is--is there any visible blood or nasty ouchies?

Debbie

Thankfully, no, Nurse Krinsky.

Oh, good. Whew. You know how queasy i get.

Debbie

Okay, Pim, I have to go to class now. You be strong now, You hear?

Pim

It's so hard to be strong when you feel so very week!

Debbie

What a brave little soldier! (Sniffles)

Pim

(Struggling on crutches) Sorry i'm late, Teach. I narrowly escaped death.

Debbie

P.B. and J! I feel horrible! Here, Pim, let me help you to your seat.

Pim

No, no. I've got to get the hang of this myself. (Groans) Darnsies! I'm so uncoordinated!

Debbie

Here, let me get that. Don't you worry about a thing, Pim. Until you're healed, I am at your service.

Debbie

Is that fluffy enough for you?

Pim

Could be fluffier.

Debbie

Say no more. You need to be relaxed in order to heal. I'll find you the fluffiest pillow of them all!

Pim

(Laughs)

Lloyd

Hey, Pim. What happened to you?

Pim

Oh, this. Uh...Debbie wants to be a nurse when she grows up, so i let her bandage me. As practice.

Lloyd

Oh, well...that's awfully nice of you.

Pim

Helping friends reach their goals...That's why i was put on this earth.

Lloyd

Say, Debbie, What do you think of this ingrown hair i have here?

Debbie

I think it's cute.

Pim

Hey, Debs, You know, all this being in pain is making me thirsty. Score me a root beer, will ya?

Debbie

Absolutely. Anything you need.

Pim

Oh! And now that you mention it, my spanish homework needs doing. Know what i mean, slappy? (Laughs)

Debbie

Here comes the choo choo train!

Pim

What the--Huh? Debbie, how did you get in my house?

Debbie

I copied your key at the shoe repair shop in little tokyo. I also gave Mr. Yamaguro all of your platform shoes to be cut down. You'll be wearing flats from now on, my little patient!

Pim

How long have i been asleep?

Debbie

A long time. Did you know that you talk in your sleep? You have a sailor's mouth. You must have cable.

Pim

All right, get me out of this thing!

Debbie

Are there any conditions about making doily hats?

Pim

I'm sure there is. (flips through papers) Doily hats? Doily hats? Doily hats? It's not in here!!

Debbie

(clapping) Yay! Break out the safety scissors!