BarbaraNow, don't forget. There's a list of emergency numbers on the fridge, and here's a list of chores we'd like you to do. Um, rake the leaves, clean out the garage, and do the recycling.
Barbara
Oh, and don't forget to give curtis his B-A-T-H.
Heehh! (Muttering Frantically) No take a bath!
Barbara
Ohh.
Aw, nutsicles. That's why you spelled it.
Barbara
What's the matter?
Lloyd: I can't find the car keys! Everybody fan out! Phil, Pim, you gotta scour the living room. We gotta find these keys. We gotta(Their in his hand)--good work, everybody. So, Barb, you excited about the road trip? You know, I rented a convertable.
Barbara
"Psyched" isn't the word. "Nervous" is the word.
All right, kids. I love you. We'll see ya.
Barbara
I love you, baby. Be good. Be good.
Barbara
Take care of her.
Honey, can you get that big suitcase for me?
Barbara
Hey, that--I will call to check in around 4:00. Pim, mind your brother. Ohh, Lloyd, this is yours!
Barbara
Bye, guys! Behave yourself.
Hey, uh, about these chores, there's not many of them, so i'll just do 'em. We cool?
But when i'm done with you, you'll be so cool not even that precious afterburner will be able to warm you up.
Curtis, you're in America now. Speak english.
Barbara
Phil, you're going to be in something called the ninth grade and Pim, you're going to be in something called the seventh grade.
I want to be in ninth grade.
Barbara
Honey, they go by age here.
All right. I'll start in your "seventh grade." Then, I'll make my slow, but steady, rise to power. In a month, I'll be in 50th grade!
So you really want to go to this pickford ranch?
Yeah, I do. You know, every time i start to feel like a normal kid from a normal family, something gets in the way...Like this.
Barbara
Sweetie, if you're concerned that your feet smell, just do what your dad does.
1/2 hour in a vinegar soak, then dust 'em with cornmeal.
No, it's not the smell, mom. I'm talking about how people in this century have 5 toes. I have 4.
Barbara
Oh, that's right. They won't lose their pinky toe for 75 years.
How do they walk with all those--
Barbara
(Silly Voice) Hello, I am a useless pinky toe. Someday, you will be born without me.
Come on, guys, i'm serious.
Okay, family, I don't have much time for chit chat. I need donations. Watches, necklaces, belt buckles, gold fillings. Don't be stingy. It's for a good cause. Thank you. Your donations are appreciated. I'm touched. Et cetera, et cetera.
Son, if you really want to go on this field trip, i'm gonna find a way to get you there.
Barbara
Lloyd...What are you gonna do, build him a falsie?
You told her what?! Why?!
I had to. She told me she has dreams about being married to Mr. Potatohead. Look, it's Keely's innermost secret. When she told me that, I realized that it doesn't matter what century you're from. Real friends are truthful with each other, and i need a friend. A real friend.
When this leaks out, there's gonna be news reports and a manhunt! Before you know it, they're going to be busting down our door!
Marmalukes! Do you hear that? They're here!
Hey! Sorry about the racket. Your gate sticks a bit.
Barbara
Hey, I thought i heard someone at the gate.
Oh, it's just me, Mrs. Diffy. I never officially welcomed you to the neighborhood.
Barbara
Aw, thank you, Keely. Although we do miss lawrence, kansas, geographical center of the nation.
Save it. Our son spilled the beans.
Barbara
I'll go pack.
Phil, I don't care if you're from the future. Or from kansas...Or some nut job from...Nutsville. It doesn't matter to me. Whatever secrets you have, they're safe with me.
Thank you. It really means a lot to me. It--It means a lot to us.
Phil, it looks like your new friend might need a ride home.
Barbara
Be careful.
Oh, my gosh, Phil, you really are from the future.
Barbara
Oh, honey, remember our first skyak ride?
(Yawning Loudly) (Sniffs a shirt) Whoa! Hohh! That's not clean.
Barbara
Good morning, Sweetheart. Breakfast is ready.
Barbara
(Laughing) Oh, Phil, I was there the day you popped out of your natal pod. You don't have anything i haven't seen already.
Yeah, except for the sign on the door that says "Please Knock."
Hey, Phil! That "Please Knock" sign is lookin' a little shabby. I'll touch it up for you as soon as i store these photon conduits.
Dad, Look. I know that space in the garage is a little tight right now, But why does my room have to become your storage closet?
Because the sign on Pim's door says "Keep Out Or Else," and i don't want to find out what "Or Else" means.
Well, I don't have room for all this junk.
CComputer
This unit is not junk.
Be careful what you say around the time engine C.P.U. It's a little emotionally unstable right now.
CComputer
This unit reads lips, you know. and this unit's going through a lot right now.
Well, if it's ok with everyone else in this family. I kinda find getting dressed a little bit of a private affair.
No Problem. I got some more stuff to bring up, anyway.
(Puts shirt over the unit)(Sighs) Nothing personal.
CComputer
Nothing this unit hasn't seen already.
(Gasps) Pim! Do You Think This Is Funny?
Not yet...But it'll be hilarious on the front page of my blog.
Hey, Everybody, I'm thinkin' tonight's the night for game night.
Dad, You're still shy 20 large from last month's game of snakes and ladders, blood-sport edition.
Well, I have finally found a present-day game that i can win. It's called (Mispronouncing) Charad-Zah.
Barbara
Ooh, charad-zah! Sounds fancy. We're gonna need some cheese.
It's not called charad-zah. It's called charades. All right? And if you don't mind, I'm gonna take a rain check.
Rain check. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I haven't even lost yet.
Barbara
Phil, It's game night. Don't you want to spend time with your family?
I think i spend enough time with you all in my room. You just walk in whenever you want. You store all your time machine junk in there, and you(Pim)...Live here. It--(Sighs) Don't get me wrong. All right? I love almost all of you, but i think what i really need is some privacy in my own room.
Sounds like your own room is about to blow a gasket.
Maybe i shouldn't have stored the hysterical fuel cells next to the self-propelled spark rods.
Yeah, that was probably a mistake.
You're not getting any privacy with that giant gaping hole in your floor. Tough break, Kid.
This is way too big to fix for the wizard. Maybe dad will lend me some of his future tools.
Are you kidding? My tools are calibrated for high-tech plastics and composites, not for wood and nails. They're extremely, extremely sensitive.
Well, where am i gonna sleep?
Barbara
You'll just have to bunk with Pim until we can get this fixed.
That was a good one, Mom.
Yeah, way to cut the tension.
Oh...Oh, i'd rather live in the garage.
Barbara
Well, i'm open to any better ideas.
I'd rather live in the garage.
Hey, I think that's a great--ly...Bad idea. Greatly bad.
Barbara
I--I hate to say it, but i agree with your father. you are too young to be living in the garage.
I say it's high time to push him out of the nest and say, "Fly, Baby Bird! Spread those wings and make us proud."
I agree with your mother.
Barbara
I haven't said anything yet.
Oh, it's just kind of a technicality, isn't it?
Mom, you just said phil is so young, he should live in the garage.
Barbara
No...I Didn't.
Barbara
Just...Until--
Yes! Thank You! Thank You!
The house...Is mine! All mine!
Barbara
Pim! I've told you a hundred times if you're gonna disappear under cover of a smoke bomb, take it outside!
Barbara
(Sighs)
Feed me. Come on, Ma. I'm on empty.
Barbara
I...Set 4 places for breakfast, but we only need (Tearfully) 3. Seems like only yesterday that phil ate breakfast here.
Barbara
Remember the first day...Right after he moved out?
That's now. You're being nostalgic about now!
Barbara
I know it's hard for you to understand, Pim. When you get older, you'll see that time really does fly.
Has anyone seen my Welder's helmet?
Barbara
Lloyd, have you made any headway with the floor repair?
Sweetie, you're forgetting we don't live in the 22nd century, where you have everything you need with the press of a button. I'm gonna have to go out and find a place that specializes in hammers, nails, uh, paints, plaster. It's not like i can quit my job at the hardware store and then just...Wait a minute. I just thought of a place.
Bruno. Hey. Phil Diffy. How's the H.G. Wells star quarterback? Hey, congrats on winning the fingerbowl last week. Yeah. Listen, Keely and i are throwing a housewarming party at my place tonight. Uh, and, well, you're on the short list. Yeah. I--I got my own crib out back.
Hello! Bruno?! Bruno! Hey...I Gotta go. Curtis, i was on the phone.
Feet also on table. Where'd you learn manners? Barnyard?
I'm not the caveman here.
Could fool Curtis. Phil clothes. Oh, Phil, Phil. Now...Curtis clothes. Phil books...Curtis books. Curtis arrange by author...Then subject.
Now we talk about throwing party without Curtis approval?
Okay. I just moved away from my mother. I don't need another one.
Then stop acting like child.
I am not a child. I'm a responsible adult...Like person, and i don't need your permission to throw a party.
In Curtis cave, you play by Curtis rules.
Okay, technically this isn't a cave. And even more technically, this cave is my garage!
Oh! Phil claim Curtis cave?!
Okay. Okay. You scare me a little.
First of all, in the 21st century, there are these places called hardware stores. I work at one! Ha ha!
Barbara
Your father found some present-day tools he can use to fix your floor. You'll be able to move back in no time.
I couldn't help but overhear.
Look, i don't want to move back in. I like it out here.
Barbara
Phil, you are too young to be living in the garage.
When are you going to get it? I'm not a little kid anymore.
Barb, it's not gonna hurt to let Phil give it a shot.
Wait. Curtis no want to live in garage with Phil.
Then you can live in my room.
Well, ho-hold on. Hold on. Phil's bedroom floor isn't fixed yet. It's gonna take quite a while.
You got a lumber, floor joists, perhaps a plumb line?
Curtis solve problem right now.
Barbara
Ohhh...My baby's come home.
Got to stop doing that every time i walk in the door, Barb. Mrs. Diffy? Mom?
Ah. A little snack for game night?
Actually, Dad...Mr. Diffy, Lloyd?
I...Am throwin' a little party at my place tonight.
Well, since you want to be, uh, treated as an adult...
"Bill For Food"? (Chuckles) Get this stuff cheaper at the store.
You're paying for convenience. That's why i located here. And while we're on the subject...
Gas...Electric...Water, internet?
Welcome to grown-up world. You get the gains, you get the pains.
(Chuckles) Very funny, Lloyd.
Barbara
Curtis. It was so nice of you to cook tonight.
And delicious! What was this? Beef? Pork? Chicken?
Uh...Just say...Not fast runner.
There are so many things i like about Curtis. He's not Phil, he was no Phil-like qualities, and, unlike Phil, he's someone other than Phil.
Oh! Curtis like Pim, too. Pim pretty...And smart.
Curtis find excellent tunnels from Pim's room to back fence. Uh, main tunnel, side tunnel, emergency tunnel--
Barbara
Tunnels?
Pim very thoughtful, too. Only use dead of night so not wake up Barb and Lloyd.
Barbara
You...Are grounded. 2 weeks for every tunnel you made.
And we mean above-grounded.
You knuckle-dragging yaboo!
Enough! We are all gonna join in a rousing game of (Mispronouncing) Charades and have a jolly old time. Okay? Do i make myself clear?
Barbara
Honey, how can we have game night without the whole family?
I've already asked Phil, honey, and he'd rather be in his garage. he loves it there.
Barbara
Um...Oh...Oh! Oh! Ooh...Oh! Romeo and Juliet!
Barbara
Yes!
Yay! The score--Curtis and Pim, zip, the almighty megalatrons, 3!
You'd think someone who could barely talk would be better at this game.
Ooh, Curtis cut in 2 by Pim wit.
Barbara
Pim, your turn.
Focus! 3 word! Last word. Run! Leave! Go! Uh, Pim go! Pim dig! Oh. Pim dig tunnel and leave house! Bad Pim. Pim grounded.
Okay, Pim scare Curtis a little.
Barbara
What's wrong, Sweetheart?
Another nightmare about the collapse of the capitalist system?
(Whining) I miss my big brother.
Are we both dreaming the same dream or did Pim just say she misses Phil?
Barbara
It's Pim and she's our little girl and she misses our little boy.
And when did she get freckles?
Barbara
Lloyd, we are losing touch with our children!
(As A Baby) Is Phil ever coming back?
Barbara
Lloyd, I don't care how you do it, I want you to convince Phil to move back in.
Okay, honey, first thing in the morning.
Aah! You mean now, don't you?
Barbara
I'm coming with, Honey.
(Sighs) Ahh, this mattress flexes to meet my every curve.
Barbara
Well, won't you come in?
Is there any way we can convince you to move back into your old room?
Gee, Lloyd, I don't know.
Barbara
We promise to always knock before entering your room.
It's your sister Pim, she really misses you.
Oh. Well, if it's for Pim...Sure. (Scoffs) Kids, huh?
Barbara
He really is growing up. Oh! He dropped his blankie.
Phil of the Future · 136 quotes
