Keely quotes from Phil of the Future

Keely

Phil, I have something to tell you. It's kinda akward for me that your here with Alice. I'm talking about the "J" word. Jealous. You know what I mean?

Keely

Fine, I guess no one can be seen talking to the lonely bus girl.

Keely

Last thing a girl wants is her brother in her personal business.

Keely

Yes, no! Darn. Sunday, our house is being tented.

Keely

No. Sunday, my uncle's coming to visit. He's a clown, if he doesn't feel at home, he gets pretty angry.

Keely

Nope. After Hackett called me a genius, he gave us independent study so we could each work on our own math problems. I figured out that if you punch in 07734 on a calculator and turn it upside down, it spells hello! (begins to laugh)

Keely

Phil Diffy, you are the most wonderful boy I have ever known.

Keely

Breaking news! Four went home sick this morning after eating the low-fat cina-pork muffins in the cafeteria. Was it the pork? Was it the Cina? (in a scary voice) Or was it the muffin? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. You'll find out on "Keely Teslow Investigates." I'm Keely Teslow.

Keely

The beard on its own, not so much. But when you add the nickname "Troll Boy" and green skin? It's every girl's dream.

Keely

Phil, he's telling the truth. He's not going to do any more pranks. What are we going to do? (Phil starts disappearing and reappears again) Okay, you're really freaking me out.

Keely

(on the morning announcements) Good morning. Here's today's daily headline munchie. I'm Keely Teslow. The top story: the results are in for the yearbook votes. May I have the envelope, please?

Keely

In the category of best dressed, the winner is...Donnie Ron Con Commo. Congratulations, Donnie. Best dressed...Archer Slickman. Cutest couple...Keely Teslow and Phil Diffy -- WHAT THE?

Keely

(realizing) I can't not say goodbye to Phil!

Keely

Tanner, you can't show that video of Phil!

Oh, so this is what this about? Look, Keely, ever since I broke up with you, Phil's been trying to get payback. Now he's the one that's gonna be paying and I'm the one that's gonna be...backing!

Keely

We've been marked!

Phil

Myron, check your hand!

Wait... these don't look alien... and they wouldn't have used marker...

Keely

I never told you this, but I've always dreamed of someday becoming a singer.

Phil

I thought you wanted to become a cat psycologist?

Keely

Oh, that's my cover!

Keely

(about Tara) I can't stand her. I wish a building would fall on her! I wish she'd get stung by a fifty-pound bee! I wish a dog would mistake her as a fire hydrant! I wish the U.S. women's soccer team would use her as a ball!

Phil

Hey, how about running her over with a steamroller?

Keely

Phil, grow up!

Tia

That's perfect, Seth. Thank you. Whoa. Walk away. Uh, earth to Seth.

Seth

Oh! Sorry.

Keely

I'll take some pepper, Seth.

And even though the sun's set, you've filled my heart with light.

Phil

Uh...David Butler Thurmond.

Aah! Aren't you clever? Oh, shug, you got a dangler. I think It's puddin'. All better. See ya after school.

Tia

Uh, hello...Yeah, what was that about?

Phil

What? Oh, Marla. Yeah, we're gonna study together for Ginsberg's poetry test.

Keely

Phil, do you like that girl?

Phil

Like her? No, you mean like--no, I barely know her.

Tia

Yeah, well, she likes you.

Phil

I don't think so.

Seth

Phil, I'm the last guy to get stuff. But I think Tia's right. That Marla likes you!

Phil

Guys, she dropped one of her books, and I gave her a hand. That's all.

Keely

Phil, let me clue you in. When you do things for a girl, they have meanings.

Phil

Like what?

Keely

Like, if you carry her books, that means you're interested.

Tia

If you open the door for her...

Keely

That means you're interested, but currently seeing someone.

Tia

Giving somebody cuts in line...

Keely

Front cuts mean you think she's cute. Back cuts...

Let's be friends.

Seth

Oh, don't worry. I'm jotting all this down for us.

Phil

Great.