Curtis quotes from Phil of the Future

Now, don't forget. There's a list of emergency numbers on the fridge, and here's a list of chores we'd like you to do. Um, rake the leaves, clean out the garage, and do the recycling.

No problemo.

Curtis

(Growls and Snorts)

Oh, and don't forget to give curtis his B-A-T-H.

Curtis

Huh?

Oh, you mean his bath.

Curtis

Heehh! (Muttering Frantically) No take a bath!

Ohh.

Aw, nutsicles. That's why you spelled it.

This is a disaster!

What's the matter?

Lloyd: I can't find the car keys! Everybody fan out! Phil, Pim, you gotta scour the living room. We gotta find these keys. We gotta(Their in his hand)--good work, everybody. So, Barb, you excited about the road trip? You know, I rented a convertable.

"Psyched" isn't the word. "Nervous" is the word.

All right, kids. I love you. We'll see ya.

Love you.

I love you, baby. Be good. Be good.

Bye, mom.

Take care of her.

Honey, can you get that big suitcase for me?

Hey, that--I will call to check in around 4:00. Pim, mind your brother. Ohh, Lloyd, this is yours!

Bye!

Bye, guys! Behave yourself.

So...

So...

Hey, uh, about these chores, there's not many of them, so i'll just do 'em. We cool?

We're cool...

But when i'm done with you, you'll be so cool not even that precious afterburner will be able to warm you up.

Curtis

Teeyah makkah?

What?!

Curtis

Teeyah makkah.

Curtis, you're in America now. Speak english.

Curtis

"Beek engrish."

S1 Phillin' In

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So, what's this business idea of yours?

All right. What's the one thing that pickford is bustling with?

Tomatoes.

Tomatoes, and...Dogs! Huh? Little ones, big ones, skinny ones, fat ones.

Hairy ones, bald ones, small ones, tall ones. Sorry. I thought we were playing a word game.

And what's the one thing that all dogs have in common?

(Gasps) They...You know. Ugh.

Exactly! At least once a day! And all owners hate to scoop. That's where we come in. We do the job that no one wants to do.

Okay, but can't we offer more service than that?

More service?

Phil! I can't just go to a dog's house and not play with them.

Fine. We are a full-service doggy day care. See, the way i figure it, we can have those festapalooza tickets in a couple of days.

Tia

Hey, Guys. I just got my ticket. Oh, are you guys still coming to the concert?

Absolutely. Hey, we just started a doggy scooping business. What to join?

Tia

And...I'm out.

It's not just poop! We're full service!

Hey, her loss, right? We're gonna have fun. We'll be our own bosses. We'll be out in the fresh...Almost fresh air! Which reminds me, I actually got Curtis to do some of the dirty work. Hey, C-Man! (Chuckles)

Curtis

(Speaks Gibberish)

I think it just may be his calling.

S1 Doggie Daycare

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Come here, mister, you just saved the field trip. (hugs Phil)

Curtis

Next time hug Curtis shave Phil.

Oh, come here.

Curtis

No, too late.

S2 Mummy's Boy

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I really appreciate you makin' room for me, Curtis.

Curtis

Uh...Uhh...Tsee-tonga.

What's the matter?

Curtis

Newcomer not allowed live inside without first ceremony of king. Ah. (Chuckles)

Is this gonna take long?

Curtis

Curtis must thank sun, earth wind. 3 days.

Can we speed it up a little?

Curtis

Hmm...Ahh, we no thank wind. 2 minutes, Tops. Ceremony begin! Tseeaahhh...Tseee...Tonga!

Thank the wind! Thank the wind!

Curtis

Um...Sun tonga! Tonga!

Curtis

Wind very persnickety today.

Yeah.

Curtis

Okay. Ha ha!

Where do i put my bags?

Curtis

No, no! Not there! No! Not there. Just give Curtis.

Curtis

Switch that make magic light here. Box that make magic picture...Here.

What's This?

Curtis

Honor bar.

This is awesome!

Curtis

Curtis run a few errands. Phil need anything?

No, no, i'm good.

Curtis

Okay. Okay. Tsee tonga. Hey, Girlie.

Hey, Phil. I came...By to...See the new...

What do you think?

It's a garage.

I know! Isn't this the coolest place to live ever?

Yeah, if you're a car. (Chuckles)

I admit it's no swanky penthouse in the pickford swank district. You know, this is my chance to get free from under my parents!

You're right. I'm--I'm sorry. I think you can really do a lot with this place. and the first thing we're gonna do is throw you a garage-warming party.

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Bruno. Hey. Phil Diffy. How's the H.G. Wells star quarterback? Hey, congrats on winning the fingerbowl last week. Yeah. Listen, Keely and i are throwing a housewarming party at my place tonight. Uh, and, well, you're on the short list. Yeah. I--I got my own crib out back.

Hello! Bruno?! Bruno! Hey...I Gotta go. Curtis, i was on the phone.

Curtis

Feet also on table. Where'd you learn manners? Barnyard?

I'm not the caveman here.

Curtis

Could fool Curtis. Phil clothes. Oh, Phil, Phil. Now...Curtis clothes. Phil books...Curtis books. Curtis arrange by author...Then subject.

Are you finished?

Curtis

Now we talk about throwing party without Curtis approval?

Okay. I just moved away from my mother. I don't need another one.

Curtis

Then stop acting like child.

I am not a child. I'm a responsible adult...Like person, and i don't need your permission to throw a party.

Curtis

In Curtis cave, you play by Curtis rules.

Okay, technically this isn't a cave. And even more technically, this cave is my garage!

Curtis

Oh! Phil claim Curtis cave?!

Oh, you don't scare me.

Curtis

Arrhh!

Okay. Okay. You scare me a little.

Phil! Great news.

What?

First of all, in the 21st century, there are these places called hardware stores. I work at one! Ha ha!

Your father found some present-day tools he can use to fix your floor. You'll be able to move back in no time.

Curtis

Yeah.

What?!

I couldn't help but overhear.

Look, i don't want to move back in. I like it out here.

And i like him out here.

Phil, you are too young to be living in the garage.

When are you going to get it? I'm not a little kid anymore.

Barb, it's not gonna hurt to let Phil give it a shot.

Curtis

Wait. Curtis no want to live in garage with Phil.

Then you can live in my room.

(Laughing) Yes!

Curtis

Mmm...Curtis on board.

Well, ho-hold on. Hold on. Phil's bedroom floor isn't fixed yet. It's gonna take quite a while.

Curtis

You got a lumber, floor joists, perhaps a plumb line?

Yeah.

Curtis

Curtis solve problem right now.

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Nice job.

Curtis

Yeah.

I'm not crazy about the rug. (Gasps)

Curtis

Uh, Curtis still have to sand it.

Great. Uh, Curtis can have my room, and i'll take the garage.

If you want to break a mother's heart!

Don't worry. I'm still your little boy...Barb.

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Curtis. It was so nice of you to cook tonight.

Curtis

Thanks, Mom.

And delicious! What was this? Beef? Pork? Chicken?

Curtis

Uh...Just say...Not fast runner.

Oh.

There are so many things i like about Curtis. He's not Phil, he was no Phil-like qualities, and, unlike Phil, he's someone other than Phil.

Curtis

Oh! Curtis like Pim, too. Pim pretty...And smart.

Thank you, Curtis.

Curtis

Pim good digger, too.

That's enough, Curtis.

Digger?

Curtis

Curtis find excellent tunnels from Pim's room to back fence. Uh, main tunnel, side tunnel, emergency tunnel--

Zip it, Curtis!

Tunnels?

Curtis

Pim very thoughtful, too. Only use dead of night so not wake up Barb and Lloyd.

You...Are grounded. 2 weeks for every tunnel you made.

And we mean above-grounded.

You knuckle-dragging yaboo!

Curtis

Nrrahh!

Enough! We are all gonna join in a rousing game of (Mispronouncing) Charades and have a jolly old time. Okay? Do i make myself clear?

BBoth

Yes, Dad.

Honey, how can we have game night without the whole family?

I've already asked Phil, honey, and he'd rather be in his garage. he loves it there.

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Um...Oh...Oh! Oh! Ooh...Oh! Romeo and Juliet!

Yeah!

Yes!

Yay! The score--Curtis and Pim, zip, the almighty megalatrons, 3!

You'd think someone who could barely talk would be better at this game.

Curtis

Ooh, Curtis cut in 2 by Pim wit.

Pim, your turn.

Here we go. Ha ha!

Curtis

Focus! 3 word! Last word. Run! Leave! Go! Uh, Pim go! Pim dig! Oh. Pim dig tunnel and leave house! Bad Pim. Pim grounded.

That's it! You're done!

Pim, down!

Curtis

Pim no scare Curtis.

Rahrr!

Curtis

Okay, Pim scare Curtis a little.

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Just give me 5 seconds with him!

Now, Pim, calm down!

Curtis

Makalowa tsee-tonga!

Curtis! Watch your language! Get--Oh!

Ohh! Ooh!