Pim quotes from Phil of the Future

Pim

Don't have one. Wrong house.

Pim

Sweet strawberry jam!

Pim

As a matter of fact, I do.

Pim

Hi. I couldn't help but notice you're getting smoked. How 'bout a nice scented candle to lift your spirits?

Pim

That'll be 3.50.

Pim

Start forking over the green stuff! The higher the domination, the sooner this bell stops ringing!

Pim

Lil' Danny found it and I made him give it back! The little guy must've stolen it! I'm so angry! But at the same time, so proud.

Pim

Boo-hoo, Phil's gonna miss his girlfriend, wah, wah, wah. (laughs, then pauses) Wow, I think I hate myself.

Pim

(holding a hammer) Okay, who else used the coconut excuse?

Pim

Yeah. Coconuts. Me too.

Phil

What's goin' on?

Lloyd

I'm thinking about takin' one of those old-fashioned road trips, just me and your mom headin' down the highway, wind in our hair, backseat full of snacks.

Phil

Oh, rewind. That means you're leaving me home w-w-with...That.

Lloyd

Pim, what do you think you're doing?

Pim

Just bustin' stuff.

Pim

What do you think you're doing?

Phil

Mom and dad are going away for the weekend.

Pim

Yes! Pim's home alone!

Pim

I'll miss you.

Lloyd

No. You won't be home alone. You'll be with Phil.

Lloyd

And he's in charge.

Pim

I'm sorry. My ears are still ringing for some jackhammerin' I was doin' earlier.

Pim

You said what, now?

Lloyd

You heard me, Pim. Phil's in charge. he's older, he's more responsible, and he doesn't spend his weekends bustin' up stuff.

Pim

But, dad, I--

Lloyd

Pim, we're not gonna talk about this anymore.

Phil

Uh, dad, can--can--can we talk about this a little more?

Lloyd

Sure.

Phil

See, I don't think that Pim really needs a baby-sitter. I think she needs more a zookeeper.

Lloyd

Son--

Phil

No, no. A whole team of zookeepers with muzzles and high-powered hoses and tranquilizer guns.

Lloyd

Okay, okay, here's the deal. I know being in charge is a lot of work, but if you keep a lid on things and you watch your sister and you get your chores done, i'll make it worth your while.

Phil

No way.

Lloyd

Yes way. The afterburner. It's yours.

Phil

What are you standing around for? Go! Scram! Get packin'. Come on. This weekend's gonna be smooth.

Barbara

Now, don't forget. There's a list of emergency numbers on the fridge, and here's a list of chores we'd like you to do. Um, rake the leaves, clean out the garage, and do the recycling.

Phil

No problemo.

Curtis

(Growls and Snorts)

Barbara

Oh, and don't forget to give curtis his B-A-T-H.

Curtis

Huh?

Pim

Oh, you mean his bath.

Curtis

Heehh! (Muttering Frantically) No take a bath!

Barbara

Ohh.

Pim

Aw, nutsicles. That's why you spelled it.

Lloyd

This is a disaster!

Barbara

What's the matter?

Barbara

"Psyched" isn't the word. "Nervous" is the word.

Lloyd

All right, kids. I love you. We'll see ya.

Pim

Love you.

Barbara

I love you, baby. Be good. Be good.

Pim

Bye, mom.

Barbara

Take care of her.

Lloyd

Honey, can you get that big suitcase for me?

Barbara

Hey, that--I will call to check in around 4:00. Pim, mind your brother. Ohh, Lloyd, this is yours!

Phil

Bye!

Barbara

Bye, guys! Behave yourself.

Phil

So...

Pim

So...

Phil

Hey, uh, about these chores, there's not many of them, so i'll just do 'em. We cool?

Pim

We're cool...

Pim

But when i'm done with you, you'll be so cool not even that precious afterburner will be able to warm you up.

Curtis

Teeyah makkah?

Pim

What?!

Curtis

Teeyah makkah.

Pim

Curtis, you're in America now. Speak english.

Curtis

"Beek engrish."

Good gravy! What was that?

Pim

That was our elephant, Skippy!

Bradley

Ahh, there's the little woman now.

Pim

Little? I wouldn't be tossing around the "L" word if I were you, Thumbelina.

Bradley

I was thinking let's name him Bradley Benjamin Farmer Jr.

Pim

Oh, great. Then his nickname will be Doofus Finkelman Dork-Face Part Two!

Bradley

New mothers can be so tempermental.

According to experts, one hundred years from now, kids will have no cavities. True or false?

Pim

False.

True.

Correct! Okay, next question...

Pim

Are you kidding me? I've got a mouth full of cavities. And I've also got the clicker. See ya.

Next up, the bonus round--

Pim

Dad, what did I say about doing that?

Lloyd

Pim, you can't lie around the house every day. You need a hobby.

Pim

I have one. It's called television viewing.

Lloyd

I don't know what kids do in this century. I guess they...They play their sports, and they do their little music, but you gotta do something. You're not gonna waste your life lying on this couch. Or sitting on this couch.

Pim

(Sighs) All right.

For the extended forecast...

Lloyd

Oh, weather network! Oh! Oh, It's raining in Phoenix. (Laughs) Great.

Pim

(Clears Throat Loudly)

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

We're not done yet, thank you. You can sweep up later.

Pim

I'm not the janitor. I'm here to join the orchestra.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Oh, really? You have a name?

Pim

Pim. You?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Bradley Benjamin Farmer.

Pim

So, what instrument do I play?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

(Laughs) Pim, I take my job very seriously. Meaning, I need musicians, not wannabes who waste my time.

Pim

Here's the poop. I can't go home until I get a hobby. In other words, you find me an instrument, or I'm bunking at your house.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

As you know, Friday is our big recital. Our performance will feature a talented young soloist who will sing a wonderful song.

Pim

(Gongs)

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Pim, I said, "song," not "gong."

Pim

(Gongs) Gotta speak up! There's a lot of noise back here.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Anywho...Without further ado, let me introduce our lovely soloist, Miss Deborah Berwick.

Pim

(Muttering)

Debbie

Bradley Benjamin Farmer! How are you?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Debbie, you haven't aged a bit. I haven't seen you in so long.

Pim

(Gongs)

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

I said, "long"!

Debbie

Is that Pim Diffy on gong?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Tell me you don't know her. Please tell me you don't know her.

Debbie

Oh, of course I know Pim! She's a treasure. Hi!