Bradley Benjamin Farmer quotes from Phil of the Future

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

She only had one name. Pim. Blonde, angry, yet strangely attractive. Hey, don't write that!

Bradley

Ahh, there's the little woman now.

Pim

Little? I wouldn't be tossing around the "L" word if I were you, Thumbelina.

Bradley

I was thinking let's name him Bradley Benjamin Farmer Jr.

Pim

Oh, great. Then his nickname will be Doofus Finkelman Dork-Face Part Two!

Bradley

New mothers can be so tempermental.

Pim

(Clears Throat Loudly)

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

We're not done yet, thank you. You can sweep up later.

Pim

I'm not the janitor. I'm here to join the orchestra.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Oh, really? You have a name?

Pim

Pim. You?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Bradley Benjamin Farmer.

Pim

So, what instrument do I play?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

(Laughs) Pim, I take my job very seriously. Meaning, I need musicians, not wannabes who waste my time.

Pim

Here's the poop. I can't go home until I get a hobby. In other words, you find me an instrument, or I'm bunking at your house.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

As you know, Friday is our big recital. Our performance will feature a talented young soloist who will sing a wonderful song.

Pim

(Gongs)

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Pim, I said, "song," not "gong."

Pim

(Gongs) Gotta speak up! There's a lot of noise back here.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Anywho...Without further ado, let me introduce our lovely soloist, Miss Deborah Berwick.

Pim

(Muttering)

Debbie

Bradley Benjamin Farmer! How are you?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Debbie, you haven't aged a bit. I haven't seen you in so long.

Pim

(Gongs)

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

I said, "long"!

Debbie

Is that Pim Diffy on gong?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Tell me you don't know her. Please tell me you don't know her.

Debbie

Oh, of course I know Pim! She's a treasure. Hi!

Pim

Hey, Debbie. I jumped a couple of those gongs, but don't worry, I'll nail it tomorrow night at the concert. Who knew a hobby could be so much fun? Down the road, Farmer.

Debbie

Um, to spare Pim some embarrassment, I think she should miss the concert tomorrow night. She'll thank us later.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Brilliant.

Debbie

Good luck telling her.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Pim...Can I speak to you?

Pim

Don't worry. I practiced my gongs all night. My dad said I sounded great right before he left to get a motel room.

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Pim, there's no easy way to say this. I rewrote the piece, and we won't be needing your help tonight.

Pim

You took out my gongs?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

Yes.

Pim

Did Debbie Berwick put you up to this?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

No.

Pim

Bradley Benjamin Farmer, look me in the eye. Was this Berwick's idea?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

She...She may have...Suggested it.

Pim

Well, hey, these things happen. Can I see you in this...Dark, dusty closet for a quick sec?

Bradley Benjamin Farmer

But why?