Greg quotes from Parks and Recreation

Leslie

Greg Pikitis.

Greg

You're the parks lady right?

Leslie

Yeah that's right. I'm the parks lady, Leslie Knope and I'm here to tell you that this year, it ends.

Leslie

Ugh this kid makes me crazy. We got a history, Greg and I. He absolutely terrorizes the parks system. Every Halloween someone defaces the statue of Mayor Percy in Ramset Park! And I know it's Greg Pikitis! But I've never been able to prove it. He's like an invisible, adolescent, James Bond, supervillain, criminal mastermind.....Or maybe someone else is doing it but I really feel like it's this kid!

Leslie

Got the entire parks department watching you, my boyfriend's a cop. So don't even try it!

Greg

I don't know what you're talking about.

Leslie

Oh I think you do! It ends today Pikitis. It ends. To. Day.

Greg

Thanks for stopping by Leslie. You look great.

Leslie

Thank you...Ends today!

Greg

That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

Andy

Why don't you just shut up for a second!

Leslie

What's going on in here?

Andy

He's a jerk! He is being such a jerk! That's an awful thing to say to a human being!

Greg

Are you crying?

Andy

I AM NOT CRYING, OK?! I'M ALLERGIC TO JERKS!

Greg

Wait, how did you know I was in the parking lot all night?

Leslie

Because I followed you genius!

Greg

If you followed me all night, then you know that it wasn't me! Knope! What is your problem!?

Leslie

Look I have been very civil but I will waterboard you!

Leslie

How did you get into the parks department!? I have to know!

Greg

Maybe the FBI can figure it out.

Andy

Hahaha! I'm not even in the FBI! Stupid!

Greg

Wow. You're amazing.

Leslie

Hey! You're going to jail for a very long time.

Dave

He's not gonna go to jail you know, he's a minor.

Leslie

Well we'll let the jury decide.

Dave

There's not going to be a jury...

Leslie

Then the Judge will decide where he goes!

Dave

He's gonna do probation, he's a minor...

Leslie

Dave just let me have this!

Allison

Oh, let me introduce you to my boyfriend.

Leslie

[shocked] ...Greg Pikitis?

Greg

What up Knope!?

Leslie

Hello Gregory.

Allison

You guys know each other?

Leslie

You might say that.

Greg

Come on baby, let's get out of here.

Ron

It's that horrible kid who used to prank us all the time right?

Leslie

Offer's off the table. She's a terrible person with terrible judgement.

Leslie

PIKITIS!