Sean quotes from Nip/Tuck

Sean

You´re the one who inspired me to be a surgeon. I wanted to be you.

You´re gonna be me, Sean. You´re in my path. You´re a success now. Forty is when it starts. The dutiful wife gets tired of your hours and your lack of emotional intelligence. She´ll stay around for another five years if you´re lucky. Mine left when I was 50, but she´ll leave. When Father´s Day comes around, and Christmas, and Thanksgiving, and you sit alone with your diplomas, and the thoughts of all these people whose lives you´ve saved except your own.

Sean

I'm afraid ‘pro-bono' is out of the question for this type of operation. That's usually reserved for people who have suffered accidents or birth defects.

Being one gender on the inside and another on the outside is a birth defect.

Sean

I'm gonna get a vasectomy. Julia doesn't want to have any more kids and I can't handle another mistake.

Christian

That's the most bullshit cure for depression I ever heard. If you want to shoot blanks, Sean, don't get snipped. Do what I do. Take a bath.

Sean

What?

Christian

For every date, I sit in a 116 degree bath. Excessive testicular heat shuts down spermatogenosis. Teabag your testicles in a hot tub and I swear you'll be sterile and squeaky clean.

Sean

How do you feel about taking on an intern?

Christian

What does she look like?

Sean

He is a friend of Julia's from school. Jude, something. I could use the points. She's pissed that I'm not outraged enough about Matt's three-way.

Christian

Alright with me, partner. I'd much rather have him hanging around here all day than hanging shirtless by your pool feeding your wife margaritas.

Julia

Can't a woman just do something nice for her husband?

Sean

A woman can definitely do something nice for her husband. You driving 20 minutes to bring me lunch sounds like a woman who wants her husband to do something nice for her.

Christian

[upon learning that Sean made a pass at Dr. Grace Santiago] Did you hire her because you're afraid that she might sue?

Lawsuits typically happen when you lose your job after you have slept with the boss.

Christian

Is that a threat?

Sean

[to Christian] Wait... you slept with Grace?

Christian

[rolls his eyes]

Sean

Goddamn it! Are you out of your mind? How could you do this!

Christian

Sleep with someone who rejected you?

Christian

I don't like her, Sean. She is a troublemaker and her shoes are cheap.

Sean

Shut up, Christian, just shut up. I need to think.

Christian

What do you think that would be like? To want to get rid of your penis? The hub of all power?

Sean

Actually, I admire her conviction. It takes...

Christian

Balls?

Christian

[referring to the cadaver] Sean, we've got to switch heads.

Sean

No, we're not. [Edit] Practice makes perfect.

Christian

Practice on what? Mr. Potato Head? There is only one way. Kill Ms. Grubman and practice on her.

Julia

What did she give you that I couldn't?

Sean

She saw the good in me, Julia. She saw the potential, the hope. Every time you look at me I see it in your eyes. All I see staring back at me is regret.

Sean

But she's a multiple personality.

Liz

Oh please! Who isn't? To my mother, I'm a child. To Jan, I'm a heartless, rejecting bitch. And to my dog, I'm God.

Sean

Maybe I should get a dog.

Julia

We´re not fine, Sean. And we never will be. You know it. We both know it.

Sean

Don´t you give up on me.

Julia

There´s nothing wrong in knowing when to surrender. We tried our best. No one can fault us for finally admitting that we just can´t do it anymore.

Sean

You've seen how he treats women: like they're sub-human.

Liz

Hasn't stopped me from working with Christian.

Christian

Don't take this the wrong way. But you're a better man than I am.

Liz

Damn straight.

Christian

Face it, Sean, we're not college kids anymore. Your hairline is up and your ass is down.

Sean

I'll be sure to put that on your 40th birthday card in a couple of weeks.

Erica

Do you have a subconscious desire to harm me?

Sean

I assure you, Erica, any desire I have to harm you is entirely conscious.