Nip/Tuck quotes

349 total quotes

All Seasons
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Abby Mays: Just because I am ugly, doesn't mean I'm attracted to ugly, Dr. Troy. I get all the magazines. I watch MTV. I'm as affected by the media as anyone else.

Aidan Stone: What the hell is this shit, Freddy? A musical episode? How gay is that? Come on, this is the kind of desperate schlock you don't do til your fifth season!

Aidan Stone: Why is it that we're in the plastic surgery capital of the world and we're forced to work with these Miami wannabes? Can you tell me that?
Sean: You are not in charge here! I have seen kids playing doctor who have better surgical technique than you do! I'm giving you an opportunity to be more authentic. I would take it if I were you.

Ava: [to Adrian] You are not too old to get a backhand and I'm wearing heavy rings.

Ava: I have no idea you are so puritanical.
Christian: I am a goddamn pilgrim.

Ava: Vodka on the rocks? If memory serves, you downed one of these the last time you were here barking up similar hallow threats. Drink up and get out.
[Christian smashes the glass]
Ava: How barbaric. Despite your doctor's degree and sleek veneer of sophistication, when it comes to women and how to treat them, you've crawled right out of the cave.

Blu Mondae: I couldn't even get a job at SeaWorld because my tits weren't 'family-friendly'.

Burt Landau: Brains, brains can help you recognise an opportunity but it is balls that make you a risk-taker.

Burt Landau: My balls are no longer proportionate to my wang. [Edit] Feels like I got an SUV riding around on training wheels down there.

Cake Tasting Hostess: [to Christian and Sean] I'm sorry, I just have to say something: I've been doing this for a lot of years, and you two are the most elegant, sharing couple I've ever met.

Christian Troy: I counted each contraction. Three times. Or were you doing your Kegel exercises?
Grace Santiago: [whispers] Lock the door.

Christian Troy: What about the elves? I always thought it was indentured servitude. Are you going to do something about that?

Christian: [after Julia had walked in on him in bed with the twins] I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to catch me in the middle of a DoubleMint moment right there.

Christian: [After Michelle slaps him in the face for making a pass at her] Just so you know, sweetie-pie, I'm not in to S&M.

Christian: [attempting to pick up a girl at a lesbian bar] I can munch, dive and fish better than any girl in this place. Plus I have in my possession a very life-like dildo just in case you decide to get kinky.