Kimber quotes from Nip/Tuck

Kimber

[after Christian asked her to marry him] You know how many times I have fantasised about hearing you ask me that? ...And what kills me the most is that I didn't even hear the words 'I love you'.

Kimber

After the wedding, we agree on two things. No more porn for me, and no more affairs for you. [Edit] Oh, don't worry, there's a clause in there that still allows for threesomes.

Kimber

A way to a man's heart is not entrapping him with your tragedy.

Kimber

He wouldn't have hurt me if you hadn't given me all those surgeries. You made me think that I needed them for you to love me. It's true. Beauty is a curse on the world.

Christian

Can I buy you a drink?

Kimber

I don't drink.

Christian

Can I buy you an appetizer?

Kimber

I don't eat. I'm a model.

Another one before you hit the road?

Christian

No, I have to operate tomorrow.

Kimber

Are you a doctor?

Christian

[flashes smile] Plastic surgeon.

Kimber

[referring to her nurse's outfit] I spent $400 on this outfit. I'm just trying to do what you wanted and spice things up.

Christian

Here's the dilemma. You think a jockey wants to come home to see his girlfriend dressed like a horse? I'm around nurses all day, sweetheart. If I wanted to screw one of them, I would've by now.

Kimber

[after walking in on Christian having sex with Kit] First you propose to me. Now you're screwing another girl. Who are you?

Christian

I'm me again, baby. I'm back.

Christian

Three tickets for the Vin Diesel movie.

Kimber

I thought we're watching Jude Law.

Christian

[rolls eyes] I'm not watching three hours of Jude Law. Doesn't he get castrated at the end of this one?

Kimber

You always choose the movie. We haven't seen anything I like in the past two years.

Christian

I'm sorry the movies I like are not the cinematic masterpieces you direct, Kimber.

Kimber

These 'masterpieces' grossed more in first-month DVD sales than you made the entire year last year, asshole.

Christian

[to Kit] This is all your fault. You are constantly whispering in her ear to box me out. [Edit] Kimber and I understand each other. We have a shorthand. [buys two movie tickets and storms off] Jerk each other off.

Christian

[referring to Sean] He was my mirror, you know? I'd look at him and see who I was.

Kimber

Baby, you can't depend on mirrors. They can make you look fat or old or too thin. And Sean's made you look small. Way smaller than you are.

Christian

I don't want you in the porn business any more. Period. And I want you to stop selling those dolls. Do you realize how many men are boning you right now? I went online. Hundreds of those things have been sold.

Kimber

Twelve hundred and thirty eight. Each sale's eight thousand dollars in my pocket, by the way.

Christian

Well, now we're getting married, you don't need the money.

Kimber

It's not about the money, Christian. This is about my career.

Christian

How would you feel if I took a mould of my cock, passed it round South Beach and called it a career?

Kimber

If hundreds of men can use my doll to get off four times a day, you screwing one Kimber wannabe isn't the end of the world. You are cheating on me with... Me!

Christian

So I can screw all your graduates now?

Kimber

Did he do this to you? All this bitterness as a result of loving you too much?

Gina

No, I was always a bitch.

Kimber

On our first date, you said that I was an eight. You were honest with me. I need you to tell me what I am now as honestly as you did then. From one to ten.

Christian

I'll make you a ten again, sweetheart, I promise. I'll make you a ten again.

Kimber

I can't do this anymore, Christian. I can't be this beautiful couple who spends six hundred dollars a month on tanning salons, who takes an hour to get ready just to go to the gym, who measure people's worth by their body fat percentage.

Christian

This is perfectly normal. It's called Stockholm Syndrome. Kidnapping victims sympathise with their captors. It's a survival strategy.

Kimber

He wasn't my captor. You were. Porn was. He was just the man holding up the mirror to our beautiful, superficial lives showing me how grotesque they were. It's just ugliness hidden behind a perfect mask. How am I supposed to be with you when your job is to give everyone those masks?

Kimber

Julia, Matt and I are in love. And I understand that becoming a grandmother brings up complicated feelings. But please don't make that our problem.

Julia

My eighteen-year-old son is having a child with a woman who happens to have slept with both of his fathers. There is nothing complicated about my feelings!