Ava quotes from Nip/Tuck

Ava

[to Adrian] You are not too old to get a backhand and I'm wearing heavy rings.

Ava

Vodka on the rocks? If memory serves, you downed one of these the last time you were here barking up similar hallow threats. Drink up and get out.

Ava

How barbaric. Despite your doctor's degree and sleek veneer of sophistication, when it comes to women and how to treat them, you've crawled right out of the cave.

Ava

I have no idea you are so puritanical.

Christian

I am a goddamn pilgrim.

Christian

I'll have you arrested for statutory rape.

Ava

Matt's 17. By Florida laws he is a consenting adult.

Christian

You certainly know your rape laws.

Ava

For someone who according to Matt has had his share of teenage girls, you are stupid if you don't.

Christian

Sorry I'm late.

Have a seat, Mr. McNamara.

Christian

It's Troy. Dr. Christian Troy.

I'm confused. I thought you were his father.

Christian

I am. I'm his, uh, biological father.

Matt

I have two dads.

Well, was there a divorce? Oh, got it. Two dads. Emily Willis has two mommies. We're seeing more and more of this.

Christian

Matt's father is my partner, Dr. Sean McNamara.

I understand.

Matt

They're not gay, Miss Wentworth. My Mom slept with Christian before she married my Dad.

Technically, I don't have any father figures, but Matt's living in my house and screwing my Mom, so I pretend he's my Dad.

Ava

It's true, Miss Wentworth. Matt and I are lovers. I was his life coach.

You see, Matt has a problem. He's a premature ejaculator.

OK, enough. I deal with dysfunctional families on a daily basis. And trust me, everyone has a story, and none of you are that special.

Christian

You lubricate acid. If I stuck my dick in you, it would sizzle off.

Ava

It would sizzle alright.