Tony DiNozzo quotes from NCIS

Tony

I think you have me confused with someone who is far less awesome.

Tony

If we asked for a life vest he's throwing an anchor.

Tony

Uh oh, sheriff, I think he lost a contact.

Tony

[in a newscaster voice] In a tragic story of obsessive hobbying turned deadly, an NCIS agent was discovered in his basement, crushed between a large homemade boat, and an even larger bottle of bourbon!

Tony

[Speaking of Abby] Ignore her, probie, she's suffering Gibbs withdrawal. Transferring it onto you because of a deep seated fear that Gibbs may withhold love and give her a first time head slap if he came back and saw his desk festooned in balloons and decorated like some tacky Tiki bar with messages of affection written possibly in blood. She ain't missin' you at all!

Tony

Just your typical day at the office.

Tony

I'll just stand here with my gun.

Tony

The paparazzi's gonna love this, Ziva, How do I look?

Tony

Ladies and gentlemen, excuse me, if I could have your attention. Thank you. I know it's been a long night. Consider it your murder-mystery dinner-theater on the Potomac. Was dinner, now it's breakfast. Well, looks like Colonel Mustard was killed on the deck with a lead pipe, maybe lead bullets. [as Poirot, with a French accent] Only by interrogating each and everyone of you, individually, can we hope to see the light! [clears throat] Albert Finney doing Hercule Poirot, 1974's Murder on the Orient Express.

Tony

You're welcome.

Tony

Cool it, Nick.

Tony

[talking about Gibbs, in flashback] Who'd wanna be a navy cop? I'd rather have the plague.

Tony

You should cut yourself some slack, EJ. What's the saying? That which does not kills us makes us stronger. I think Nietzsche said that. The thing to remember about Friedrich Nietzsche, of course, is that he died in an insane asylum. That's probably not the best way to start a pep-talk, huh?

Tony

A lot of things changed that night. I decided to become a cop because of a kid that almost died in Baltimore but didn't, and that's you. For the first time in my life, I made a difference. I did something that mattered. And I've been trying to do that ever since.

Tony

Maverick, Top Gun, McGoose.