Tony DiNozzo quotes from NCIS

Tony

[to Jeanne after discussing their relationship] If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you always got. And while what I got had its perks, I'm looking for something different now.

Tony

Well, nothing says 'I love you' like a rotting corpse in an abandoned crap hole.

Tony

I sure wouldn't want to be a fly on the wall up there. [Ziva looks confused] Never mind.

Tony

Sarcasm is not sexy, Ziva.

Tony

Maybe he died of embarrassment when he couldn't pay the cab fare.

Tony

[watching an arrest in MTAC] An NCIS production. Presented by Leroy Jethro Gibbs. [On screen, FBI agents are running into building] Starring, as per usual, the FBI.

Tony

What do your... astute ninja Mossad senses tell you?

Tony

[singing] Baa, baa, black ship... have you any wool?... Yes, sir, yes, sir... but in order to see it, you're gonna need top-secret government clearance...

Tony

Yes, Alex, I'll take "Horror Movies That Take Place On Ships" for $500. [The lights go out] Oh, goody. Double Jeopardy.

Tony

She doesn't want us involved. If there's one thing I learned about the Director's private wars, it's that it's best to stay away -- for her and for us! She's a big girl, she can take care of herself. Besides, it's probably a coincidence anyway, and she's behind one of those expensive windows munching on over-priced cashews courtesy of Mr. Out-of-Town.

Tony

What are you Mcdoing, McGee?

Tony

[Referring to the serial killer] Someone wasn't hugged enough as a child.

Tony

I smell a non-fat soy double-cross latte.

Tony

McGPS, are we close to anything?

Tony

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight you're all going to share in a DiNozzo family tradition: caramel popcorn, hot mulled cider, and the greatest, greatest Christmas movie of all time, It's a Wonderful Life.