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S7 E1

NCIS · Season 7, Episode 1

“Truth or Consequences” quotes from NCIS

10 quotes

“Truth or Consequences” · Season 7, Episode 1

In this episode: Tony DiNozzo (10), Leroy Jethro Gibbs (3), Timothy McGee (3), Saleem Ulman (3), Ziva David (1)

[Tony is being interrogated. Flashback to a Navy ship, where an enormous sailor hopped up on methamphetamine is going berserk.]

You hit him high, I'll hit him low!

I don't like the sound of that...

You hit him low, I'll hit him high!

[They tackle the sailor.]

(v.o.) Our team consisted of a gang of four. My partner is Tim McGee: small muscles, big brain, heart of a lion. Together we're virtually unstoppable... virtually.

I got him... Tony, he's going for the knife!

[The sailor raises the knife, Gibbs appears and throws him to the ground, applying a choke hold with his boot that knocks the sailor out.]

(v.o.) Our team leader is the fearless Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Former Gunnery Sergeant, Marine sniper, coffee afficianado, and functional mute.

(panting) Piece of cake.

(panting) Yep, easy as pie.

[After McGee's initial refusal to fix Tony's home computer for free.]

Come on, computers are your thing! If I had a thing I'd want to show it off.

There are rules against that, DiNozzo.

[Tony and McGee are driving through the Somali desert in a Jeep, in the middle of a sandstorm]

(speaking loudly) Thanks for volunteering me.

C'mon. You said you always wanted to travel.

On my own time.

On your own dime? Are you crazy, you could never afford this!

[leads a hooded figured into the interrogation room, sitting them in a chair] Questions are being asked in town about missing NCIS agents. I am concerned that US forces might be mobilized. One of you will tell me the identities and locations of the operatives in the area, and the other will die. [removes hood, revealing Ziva] I will give you a moment to decide who lives. [leaves the room]

[smiles painfully at Ziva] So... how was your summer?

Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you?

[nods] You're welcome. So, are you glad to see me?

You should not have come.

All right, then. Good catching up. I'll be going now. [tries to stand, but is chained to the chair] Oh, yeah, I forgot. [chuckles] Taken prisoner!

Are you all right, McGee?

I'm just glad you're alive.

You thought I was dead?

Oh, yeah.

Then why are you here?

McGee -- McGee didn't think you were dead.

Tony! Why are you here?

[painful pause as Tony tries fight the truth serum] Couldn't live without you, I guess.

So you will die with me. You should have left me alone.

Okay. Tried, couldn't. Listen, you should know I've taken some kind of truth serum, so if there's any questions you don't know the answer to --

I did not ask for anyone to put themselves in harm's way for me. I do not deserve it.

Is that what you're doing out here? Some kind of monastic experience? Penance?

It is justified.

Get over yourself.

I have.

[while he is holding a knife to Ziva's throat] I don't make bargains.

Do you make pizza?

There's something I haven't told you, yet.

What is that?

I've told you about the brains. I've told you about the guts. I've told you about the muscle. The scientist, the politician, the leader. I told you about every member of the team, except myself. The part I play.

Which is?

I'm the wildcard. I'm the guy who looks at the reality in front of him and refuses to accept it. Like right now I should be terrified, right, but I'm not. Because I just can't stop thinking about the movie True Lies. You know, where Arnie's strapped to the chair and shot full of truth serum. He picks his cuffs and kills everybody. You have thirty seconds to live, Saleem.

[sneers] You're still bound. You're lying.

I can't lie. And I didn't say I was going to be the one to kill you. Remember when I told you my boss was a sniper?

[Ulman looks to the window in horror; a shot rings out and he falls to the floor, clearly dead. Crash zoom through the cell window to a sand dune hundreds of yards away, atop of which lies Gibbs in full camo with his sniper rifle.]

[into radio] Go.

[After he, Gibbs, and McGee, by themselves, rescue Ziva from a terrorist base in Somalia.]

Just your typical day at the office.

[After McGee's initial refusal to fix Tony's home computer for free.]

It's computers, it's your thing! If I had a thing I'd show it off all the time.

There are rules against that, DiNozzo.

Listen, can you walk while you talk?

HHeather

You know, I've never actually ever attempted something so complex before, but I'm a quick learner.

Sarcasm.

HHeather

Mm-hm.

I like sarcasm.

HHeather

Who doesn't?

Not that much.

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