Tony DiNozzo quotes from NCIS

Tony

Ziva there's a gun taped to back of my toilet Godfather-style. Use it!

Tony

Heyyyy!! The Double D's DiNozzo and Dorneget got their man!

Tony

[after Fornell explains that a terrorist group and some American companies are in cahoots] Gordon Gekko meets bin Laden.

Tony

[discussing the suspect with McGee] We live in a strange world, McGee. I miss the days when computer nerds looked like you.

Tony

[on the phone] Here's the thing. Just 'cause you can name all the parts inside a jet pack doesn't make you Einstein.

Tony

[to McGee about a suspect they're tailing] The Magilla Gorilla there? [...] [sighs] We're gonna have to catch that guy. We should've brought the elephant tranquilizer.

Tony

[after apprehending a suspect nicknamed "The Snail"] Nice job, everybody. "The Snail" just became escargot. He's cooked.

Tony

[answers] Hello....you first, who is this? [smirks] C'mon, stop being a wise-ass, who's this? [face turns serious] Uh, yes sir. Hold on a second. [to Gibbs] You'd better take this, boss. It's the President... of the United States... of America.

Tony

[flirting with Agent Pendergrast] You know what "Tony" is spelled backwards? Y not?

Tony

[enters squad room and sees McGee working at his desk] Well, McGee, I just want you to know I'm proud of you. You didn't blow anything up and there were no international incidents.

Tony

What can I say? Women find me alluring.

Tony

Money...the root of all evil.

Tony

[about the cat he adopted] He's like the feline version of me.

Tony

Flight delays make nice people cranky and cranky people crankier.

I feel terrible that you good people have to see me like this, but you know what a jackass love can be.