Tony DiNozzo quotes from NCIS

Tony

Are you done yet? (Standing over McGee, eating a cookie. Wipes crumbs off of McGee's head)

Tony

(after Gibbs takes the last cookie) That's so not right.

Tony

[while attempting to guess what McGee's first car was, McGee starts to reply] If you say Datsun Honeybee, I'm gonna come over there and smack you.

Tony

I want a divorce!

Tony

You know, I've been thinking. I'm a federal prosecutor's dream.

Tony

Because I'm angry, and I'm immature, and I like control!

Tony

Yes, I ripped a glove at the scene. It seems a little sloppy for a federal agent who investigates crime scenes, but, you know, those are the breaks when you're a homicidal maniac dumping butchered women's remains out in the woods in the middle of the night! Right?

Tony

I'm not getting out of this one, am I, boss?

Tony

Thank you, boss.

Tony

[on the phone to sperm bank] DiNozzo, big D, little I, big N, little ozzo.

Tony

[trying to cheer McGee up] When the going gets tough, the tough go clubbing.

Tony

You just set off Gaydar across the entire Atlantic seaboard.

Tony

My name's Anthony. My friends call me Tony which, spelled backwards, is "Y-not."

Tony

Do it and die, Amadeus.

Tony

How bad does a drug deal have to go for you to leave the drugs behind?

Tony

Abby! Front and center. You too, Ziva. Let's go! I know what happened.

Tony

Hey! If there's going to be any bitch slapping on this team, I'll do it. Clear? Good. Now shake hands. Shake.

Tony

There we go. That wasn't so tough, was it? Now how about a little hug? Big buddy hug. Come on.

Tony

Now a deep tongue kiss.

Tony

Now we feel better.

Tony

It's an odd decorating choice, although the corpse does give the place a certain lived-in look.

Tony

Why would someone unbury a body? I can answer that. To send a message. Like, hi I'm dead. Never get engaged to two women at the same time.

Tony

[seeing McGee in the elevator waiting for Gibbs] And here I thought being sent to the principal's office was bad.