Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 8
[On the name of "The Place"]
Formerly "That Other Place".
Yeah, they hired a huge consulting firm for millions of bucks, and this was the name they thought up.
. . .
Formerly "The Locale".
. . .
Formerly "The Site".
. . .
It's changed ownership. Now it's a gentleman's club.
[During another one of Pearl's pledge breaks, Pearl has shown a clip of her signing a duet with Brain Guy.]
Hey, I can sing, too! [singing off-key] And now you find yourself in '82-- [Pearl kicks him in the groin.]
[The Fat Man enters "The Place" and sits down.]
All I can eat? The joke's on them!
[While stuck inside the NoviCorp computer, Fingal is told to go about his normal data processing routines.]
I can't take this anymore... I'm so bored!
[Mike and the bots all look around]
OK, which one of us said that?
I felt it, I don't...
. . .
Listen! We're nothing more than a byte in a giant computer!
[dully] I'm okay with that.
. . .
[Fingal holds up a bunch of cards and they turn into flowers.]
My coffee coupon!
...
If I'm in charge of what happens to me in here. I'm not going to go on being a zombie like all those zombies at work.
I'll be a better zombie!
[During a rather adult scene]
Man, kids are tuning in to watch "Barney"...
[Inside Fingal's virtual world, sim-Apollonia argues with Fingal about his "romance" with a simulated co-worker.]
If this one-handed exercise is all you can think of to do with your life...
Whoa!
...you're a very little man, and I'm very disappointed in you!
Is this still the Officially Sanctioned Boring Part?
. . .
It's a good thing we don't have to like each other, isn't it? Because you're definitely not my kind of woman!
[Apollonia slaps him.]
Well, now you are, actually.
. . .
Fingal... I want to do the right thing... I'm just not sure what that is...
Well, slapping him seemed like a good start!
[In the simulated bar "The Place", Fingal talks to bar-owner Rick.]
What're you gonna do?
I don't know. But I've got to get the hell out of here. NoviCorp isn't helping! So I guess I'm going to have to push my own buttons for a change.
Ah, you've been doing enough of that, mister!
[Fingal is trying to write a computer program while in the computer.]
What is your access code?
Where do you want to go today? All over this movie, that's where I want to go.
Invalid access. Quit or retry?
I'll take "Quit" for 25, Alex.
[Fingal's mainframe tampering produces a snowfall inside the simulated NoviCorp building.]
The chairman's got really bad dandruff.
This is how much pure cocaine you would need to enjoy this movie.
. . .
I'm not making this up!
I'm not cleaning it up either!
So this is public television, huh? Suddenly I feel like beating the crap out of Fred Rogers.
[Apollonia is trying to convince Fingal that he shouldn't stay a dopple]
Dopples don't dance, they don't make love...
They're Lutherans!
[During another simulation, Fingal has been sent to the Garden of Eden.]
[singing to the background music] You can't always get what you want...
. . .
[Two tablets fall from the sky, and Fingal catches them.]
Here's some more commandments I forgot.
Shut up, Fat Man!
You... you anteater!
[As the Fat Man leaves]
To Wendy's!
[Fingal has successfully been allowed to redistribute finance.]
Genius. Pure Genius.
...couldn't save this film.
. . .
[At the Fat Man's office, cards begin flying out of nowhere.]
I'm farting Monopoly cards!
Well, they're all getting credits where credits are due. [chuckles] Sorry.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
