Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 8
[Nick types in commands to erase the floppy disks containing his time travel software]
So, eight 5¼" floppies hold the keys to time travel.
Delete copies of film? Yes. Delete memory of film from mankind's consciousness? Yes.
[As he throws out the last one, the camera pans to a heap of electronics, including one suspiciously long box with a cord coming out of it]
Hey... even declared war on his surge protector...
[The credits begin to roll; a slow, low-pitched tune comes up]
Who's playing the chamber pot?!
[The writer credit appears]
Written? This movie was written? I don't think so.
[Credits display: Mathew Bruch as Nick Miller]
We serve a delicious bruch every Suh-day.
[The credits display "The Producers Wish To Thank", followed by a VERY long list of people and organizations]
Wow, they are special thanking the HELL out of this movie!
. . .
All these people bear... some responsibility, you know.
[The penultimate "thanks" are to "The citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont"]
Which means I really, really hate the citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont. I'm not kidding, Mike. I never liked the citizens and officials of stupid Rutland, Vermont! This is just the nail in the coffin, as far as I'm concerned. Go to hell, citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont!
Filmed in Vermont: the other, smaller Wisconsin!
Nick!
I was shaving this morning and got a nick!
[Eddie hits Crow in the head and knocks him on the floor.]
[irritated] Get up! You're all right.
[Pearl is holding a pledge drive. Servo is trying to call in, but Mike is holding Servo's arm, stretching out the spring.]
Gimme! Come on, there's still much more to tote!
Let go of it, man!
Oh sure, Mike. Go watch your Websters, and your Facts of Lifeses, and your Who's The Bossesesses!
[Movie Sign goes off]
We got movie sign! [Mike lets go of Servo's hand, sending him flying off screen]
[The opening credits and movie's theme begin over an image of Raul Julia's head inside a golden electronic cube]
This lovely Raul Julia pendant, available only on the Home Shopping Network.
It's a Raulbik's Cube!
Heh heh guys, see, I thought that he was Puerto Rican, I didn't know that he was...
Oh no, don't say it!
...Cube-in!
Ahhh.
[The cube begins to fade away]
Raul, you come right back and be in this bad movie, young man!
But I'm signed to play Archbishop Romero!
[The movie's theme plays]
And now, the news.
[New York City PBS affiliate WNET is credited]
That's the New York Public TV station! What, did Pearl accidentally send us "MacNeil-Lehrer Report"?
[Title card is shown]
[with monotone sarcasm] Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. That is funny.
Wanda Cannon? Now that's a porno name if I ever head one! Not that I've ever heard one... You know, I don't subscribe to lots of publications or anything.
[The gray-haired and fat head of NoviCorp is giving a speech during the opening credits.]
Wow. TV's Frank!
Wow. Frank's really come up in the world.
Still, this is easier than reading "Wired" magazine.
[Over a shot of Fingal's workplace]
SAT farms of the future!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
