Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 8
“Time Chasers” · Season 8
In this episode: Tom Servo (16), Mike Nelson (12), Crow T. Robot (11), East Eddie (2)
[The Edgewood Studios logo appears, showing a dog sitting in a movie theater]
[talking like Scooby-Doo] Rello, I'm Fido Hitchcock, the rirector of ris rilm.
He's got a bucket of crotch-flavored popcorn.
[groaning] Oh, Crow. So early, too.
[The logo fades out]
[still talking like Scooby-Doo] Redgewood Rentertainment, Rimited resents--
Okay, stop.
Cut it out.
[The opening title appears over a CGI computer chip]
This is like NFL graphics here.
[imitates the "NFL on Fox" theme song]
[As the movie opens, a man flies a propeller plane through some odd visual effects]
Ha-ha! Nick Miller, you are a genius!
A crop-dusting genius!
[We see Nick for the first time, as the nerdish hero gets off his plane]
This... is not our star, is it? I will not accept this as our star, sorry.
[We see Nick ride his bike through a small town]
Come on down to parallel parking days.
[Nick rides to Martin's Supermarket]
Come to Martin's. WHATUP?!?
[Nick boots up his computer]
You've got mail... pattern baldness!
[During the first scene in 2041]
[derisively] The, uh, future.
[In a 2041 city, a 10-year-old wearing lime-green pants jogs while talking on a cellphone]
So, in the future, kids become gay agents?
. . .
So... 50 years from now will be 3 years from now...
. . .
[As Nick, Lisa, and Matt go into a building, a burly-looking woman walks by]
Hey, look--a lesbian... of the future!
[Cut to inside, where the camera pans down to a fairly typical food court]
Food courts... of the future!
[Robertson arrives to meet Nick]
Hi, I'm Bob Evil!
Trust me.
Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[Nick and Lisa are trying to escape Robertson's building while also being chased by his guards. They come to a room with two routes; Nick quickly opens the door of one route and he and Lisa go down the other. The guards come in and see the open door of the false route.]
Come on, this way! [They run down the false route]
Even though I see them running the other way!
[Lisa arrives at the airstrip, wearing two kinds of plaid]
Two kinds of plaid? Boy, I'm a naked robot, Mike, and even I know that's a fashion no-no.
I leave for 20 minutes, and EvilCo is in shambles!
I'm a team player!
[In the dystopian future, an eyepatch-wearing armed survivor leaps atop a smashed car for a better shooting angle]
Arrgh! Sixteen men on a dead Dodge Dart!
[The alarm makes a beeping noise similar to a large vehicle in reverse]
Great, now the garbage truck's backing up!
[Nick and Lisa are shown together in the new, dystopian future]
I hope they end up together... at the bottom of a well torn apart by animals!!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
