[Nick rides to Martin's Supermarket]
Come to Martin's. WHATUP?!?
S8Time Chasers
[Nick boots up his computer]
SAServo [as the old AOL voice]
You've got mail... pattern baldness!
[During the first scene in 2041]
[derisively] The, uh, future.
[In a 2041 city, a 10-year-old wearing lime-green pants jogs while talking on a cellphone]
CCrow
So, in the future, kids become gay agents?
. . .
So... 50 years from now will be 3 years from now...
. . .
[As Nick, Lisa, and Matt go into a building, a burly-looking woman walks by]
Hey, look--a lesbian... of the future!
[Cut to inside, where the camera pans down to a fairly typical food court]
Food courts... of the future!
[Robertson arrives to meet Nick]
MAMike [as Robertson]
Hi, I'm Bob Evil!
RRobertson
Trust me.
SAServo [as Robertson]
Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[Nick and Lisa are trying to escape Robertson's building while also being chased by his guards. They come to a room with two routes; Nick quickly opens the door of one route and he and Lisa go down the other. The guards come in and see the open door of the false route.]
GGuard
Come on, this way! [They run down the false route]
MAMike [as Guard]
Even though I see them running the other way!
[Lisa arrives at the airstrip, wearing two kinds of plaid]
Two kinds of plaid? Boy, I'm a naked robot, Mike, and even I know that's a fashion no-no.
SAServo [as J.K.]
I leave for 20 minutes, and EvilCo is in shambles!
CACrow [as Matt]
I'm a team player!
[In the dystopian future, an eyepatch-wearing armed survivor leaps atop a smashed car for a better shooting angle]
MAMike [as Gunman]
Arrgh! Sixteen men on a dead Dodge Dart!
[The alarm makes a beeping noise similar to a large vehicle in reverse]
Great, now the garbage truck's backing up!
[Nick and Lisa are shown together in the new, dystopian future]
I hope they end up together... at the bottom of a well torn apart by animals!!
CCrow
The movie really heightens the lack of interest in the film.
Yeah, I think--huh?
[As Nick and Lisa's plane crashes towards the rocky shore of a lake, the camera pans to the plane's altimeter]
They're running out of Alt!
[Cut to a view of the speedometer.]
And their Miffnots [MPH KNOTS] are goin' down!
[After Robertson punches Nick out of the flying plane, Nick somehow manages to hang on with his palms flat against the smooth metal wing]
CACrow [as Nick]
Ha-ha! Unlucky for you, I secrete pine tar from my hands!
[After Robertson's time transport crashes into a tree]
CCrow
27 Keebler elves were killed today when a light plane plunged into their tree!
E.L. Fudge remains in critical condition.
. . .
Oh, he's trying to get honey like Pooh!
CCrow
Oh, he's like poo, all right.
. . .
[as Nick climbs down the tree]
CCrow
He's climbing an Ent!
[in a deep, Entish voice] Hoom hom, get off me, hm.
. . .
[Later in that scene, Robertson shoots Nick and kills him]
CCrow
He died as he lived: mud-stained and splaying.
[As a static shot of a tree goes on for quite a while]
Did the tree contribute money to the film? Why are they showing this?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.