[After the narrator has explained the egg collecting process at great length]
Eggs are complicated; they should cost like a hundred dollars each.
S7The Brute Man
[Showing a comparison of chickens as meat producers]
It's Goofus and Gallant.
. . .
CCrow
This could be your drumstick. This is the number to call.
[Shot of cooked chicken being sliced very thinly]
[dripping with sarcasm] Oh, thanks for the generous portion!
. . .
CCrow
Yes, chicken sliced to the width of one electron.
These must be models' portions.
MAMike [as server]
This one's for you, Miss Moss, and for you, Miss Turlington...
. . .
CCrow
[in Ritzy accent] Yes, it's chicken. Glorious American chicken sliced the American way!
But it's your pocketbook that profits most when you send this bird to market.
[The next scene fades in]
MAMike [as Narrator]
We bring you now to market.
[During the auction, as the auctioneer rambles off bids]
Ah. He's drunk! Look at him.
. . .
[The shadowrama makes it look as if Mike, Servo, and Crow are sitting in the back row of the auction.]
[to Mike] Put your hand up. Buy a chicken.
[raises his hand] I want one...
CCrow
Alright, come on, sing, sing! Row, row, row-- you're not singing!
Hundreds of live chickens can be speeded on their way to the dressing plant.
CCrow
Dressing plant? Sounds like fun.
I want a new hat.
[Shot of a gas station]
One truck can handle thousands of eggs and take them anywhere there to market.
Even to the Texaco station.
[As the short ends, a truck seems to move by itself.]
CCrow
There's no driver! The chickens are taking over!
The Brute Man (movie)
["Creeper" Hal Moffett sneaks into the apartment of blind Helen Paige, as usual seated at her piano.]
SAServo [as Moffett]
Uh... look, Helen. Other girls in the sorority asked me to talk to you about your incessant piano playing.
[A cop opens the door and looks at an empty bedroom]
CACrow [as Cop]
[with exaggerated Irish accent] All right, show's over, nothin' fer me to see here. I'll just be about my business then...
[Moffet examines the groceries that were delivered to him.]
MAMike [as Moffet]
They forgot my Fruit Brute cereal!
HHelen
Hal? Hal? Hal?
SAServo [as Helen]
Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
[A newspaper headline reads "Philanthropist laid to rest".]
Ah, look at that. "Philanthropist laid." It's always the philanthropists... rock stars and philanthropists.
[over a closeup of the Creeper's face]
CCrow
Hey fella, why the long face?
Now, come on...
CCrow
[laughing] I'm sorry, I couldn't...
I begged you not to do that!
CCrow
I know...
That hurts.
He can't decide if he's a creeper, a peeper, a stalker, a walker, a backbreaker...
CCrow
In today's job market, you can't afford not to diversify.
[annoyed] Why didn't they just call this movie The Creeper?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.