[Two girls are feeding baby chicks.]
MAMike [as girl]
How many are you sitting on?
CACrow [as girl]
Dad went a little nuts this Easter.
S7The Brute Man
Their immediate destination after leaving the incubator...
SAServo [as Narrator]
Broadway!
...is the brooder house.
MAMike [as Narrator]
Designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.
From now on, their main job in life is to eat and grow.
[singing] Eat and grow forever...
[The narrator has talked about keeping paper on the floor to cover litter.]
After the first few days, the paper can be removed.
CCrow
Except for the sports section.
The range shelter should be very small, not holding more than a hundred birds.
MAMike [as Narrator]
Or migrant workers.
The shelter protects them from the sun and gives them a safe place to roost out of the way of rodents.
[Over a shot of chickens frantically fluttering out of a hen house]
CMCrow, Mike, Servo [as chickens]
RODENTS?! AAAAHHH!!
[Over a shot of chickens eating]
SAServo [as chicken]
Heavens, I'm so fat. I just look at chicken feed and I gain weight.
CACrow [as chicken]
Does this taste funny to you?
[On spacing range shelters to avoid chickens wandering off]
You know how chickens are.
Yeah, they own everything.
Remember the old henhouse?
The one with the rats?
It's now a hotel... a pullet hotel.
Rooms by the hour.
[Over a group of chickens in the henhouse]
CACrow [as chicken]
Open your hymnals to number 325.
. . .
TATom [as chicken]
Everybody! Soylent Green is made from chickens!
[On the trap nest, which is basically a chicken cage that can't be opened on the inside]
There's no point; it's just funny!
[The Narrator is talking about profitable egg production.]
A hen that lays 210 eggs a year and eats 70 pounds of feed is giving you 3 eggs for every pound you feed her.
MAMike [as Narrator]
She will live.
Keep that one.
CACrow [as Narrator]
She's worth millions.
But if she eats 70 pounds of feed and lays only 70 eggs a year, you better send her to the market or to your dinner table.
Or put a warning slip on her desk.
...and this is a good place to point out a few facts about eggs.
MAMike [as Narrator]
Stop throwing them at my car!
[As the Narrator talks about cooling eggs and moisture.]
MAMike [as Narrator]
So put your mouth under a chicken.
. . .
CACrow [as Narrator]
Lick your eggs, or have a friend lick them.
SAServo [as chicken]
Hey, pal, feed me, then clean up my poops!
[As a worker put seed in a feeding trough]
CACrow [as worker]
There's your appetizer, ladies, I'll be back to get your drink order.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.