[As Godzilla finally makes it to the climactic battle]
CACrow [as Godzilla/Nada]
I have come here to chew sushi and kick butt. And I'm all out of sushi.
S2Godzilla vs. Megalon
[Jet Jaguar is curled up on the ground after being shot out of the air by Megalon. The latter stands over him, gloating.]
CACrow [as Megalon/General Zod]
You will bow down before me, Jet Jaguar!
JAJoel [as Jet Jaguar/Bond]
Do you expect me to talk?
CACrow [as Megalon/Goldfinger]
No, Jet Jaguar. I expect you to die!
Oh, very good, guys. Uh, kind of a James Bond thing there.
[Megalon is taunting Godzilla.]
SAServo [as Megalon]
Nyah nyah, nyah nyah nyah! Your father was a lizard! Your mother was an A-bomb! ...Your uncle was a robot!
[Godzilla slowly lifts Megalon by his tail high into the air.]
SAServo [as Sportscaster]
Godzilla is either breaking the laws of physics, or he's throwing around an empty rubber suit!
[After the final battle, Godzilla walks away.]
RSRok-san
Godzilla! Bye-bye!
SAServo [as Goro]
Thanks for leveling our country!
[Goro attempts to control Jet Jaguar using his control medallion.]
GGoro
[Into medallion] Jet Jaguar! Let's go home!
[Jet Jaguar nods and turns to leave]
CACrow [as Jet Jaguar]
Yeah, sure, you control me... right... I'll be home crushing your house!
[The bots' translation of the fabulous Jet Jaguar fight song]
He jock it made of steel.
Eats sushi from a pail.
Jet Jaguar? Jet Jaguar!
He mother never really love him.
He crimefighting covers up a basic insecurity.
He dickey covers up an Adam's apple the size of a Toyota.
He basically good-hearted, but he'd like to smash that kid's head against a rock!
Knock, knock, knock!!
Who's there?i>
He face look like Jack Nicholson.
Don't laugh like that; it'll stay that way.
Yamahageeooooooh!
[pause]
Do not touch my bags if you please, Mr. Customs Man.
S2Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
[Godzilla, slumbering peacefully after a rampage, is attacked by a giant red bird.]
CACrow [as Godzilla]
Hey! Whadda ya think I am, Tippi Hedren? Get outta here!
[Sea Monster rises from the water as a couple captured natives try to flee, James Bond- like music plays in background.]
James Bond is back as the spy with the biggest crab claw you've ever seen in your life! Double-O crab.[N]
[The crab monster thing has just skewered two escaping natives]
CCrow
Kabob and Ka-Steve!
S2Jungle Goddess (movie)
GGreta
Did you study your spelling last night?
JAJoel [as Wunama]
Uh, dog ate it.
WWunama
Uh, yes, yes!
GGreta
Good. Let me hear you spell, uh... "beautiful."
Let me hear you spell "patronize."
WWunama
Beautiful... ah yes...
CACrow [as Wunama]
Will this be on the final?
JAJoel [as Wunama]
S-L-...
WWunama
B-E...
JAJoel [as Wunama]
A-V...
WWunama
[struggling] A... U...
JAJoel [as Wunama]
E-R-Y.
WWunama
T... I-F-U-L.
[the two girls giggle]
GGreta
That's wonderful!
SAServo [as Greta]
Okay, now spell antidisestablishmentarianism.
[Mike shows the kronotite sample to his partner Bob, who's under a potential death sentence for killing a native earlier.]
BBob
No doubt about it. It's kronotite.
Are you sure?
BBob
I'd stake my life on it.
CCrow
That's already in the kitty, Bob.
S2Ring of Terror (movie)
[The scene in the graveyard fades to a close-up of a desk]
CCrow
I'm a lamp.
RProfessor Rayburn
However strong we may feel...
JAJoel [as Rayburn]
Our bones are very brittle.
RProfessor Rayburn
... some of us cannot overcome certain inner emotions.
JAJoel [as Rayburn]
Like love.
RProfessor Rayburn
When we view an autopsy of this kind, let me say to you to feel free to leave the class.
SAServo [as Rayburn]
To do the technicolor yarn.
JAJoel [as Rayburn]
To blow chow.
CACrow [as Rayburn]
To chuck the chow on the white porcelain throne.
SAServo [as Rayburn]
To summon the earl.
[during an autopsy]
JAJoel [as Rayburn]
Now earlier today, I baked a corpse at 425 degrees.
RProfessor Rayburn
Then we follow with an abdominal incision...
SAServo [as Rayburn]
And a light lemon-chiffon sauce with shallots.
RProfessor Rayburn
We have now exposed the gastrovascular cavity...
CACrow [as Rayburn]
Which should be stuffed with a sage dressing.
RProfessor Rayburn
We have cut through the epidermis, and you see this yellow mass. That's the fatty tissue...
SAServo [as Rayburn]
Which should be whipped into stiff peaks.
...
RProfessor Rayburn
Well, it's not very pleasant to look at, I must admit...
CACrow [as Rayburn]
But with rice, and the correct seasoning, you've got a wonderful meal.
...
RProfessor Rayburn
Mr. John Doe has rendered posthumously a great service to medical science.
What are showman, ladies and gentlemen! He gave his all!
RProfessor Rayburn
Now he will be transferred to the general mausoleum of the Raven Hills Cemetery...
CACrow [as Rayburn]
Where we'll meet for bars and punch.
RProfessor Rayburn
Where he will be stored for about a week in the receiving vault.
These are the battered faces of men in their 40s.
RProfessor Rayburn
He will probably be buried there in Potter's Field.
JAJoel [as Rayburn]
You've been a wonderful audience! Enjoy the buffet!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.