[The Soultaker confronts Zach at the hospital rooftop edge after a long chase scene.]
CACrow [as Soultaker]
Muhuhahahahaha! You're it!
SSoultaker
It's all over now.
Oh, ho, I wish that were true!
S10Soultaker
Oh, Frank, I thought you were dead!
TSTV's Frank
I am dead. [pause] I was in Second Banana Heaven for a while, but it is so political up there. Pat Buttram had it in for me right from the start. So, then I was an angel for a while, and then I got into big trouble for appearing to people as Della Reese. Scared the hell out of them. So, they transferred me to Soultaker.
I knew these two would get along.
CCrow
Maybe they have this wondrous, frilly wedding in the frou frou land of bunnies where magical fairies blow kisses to the stars, and the polka-dotted toadstools sing, 'Good Ship Lollipop,' to the tiny mice in their little feetie pajamas.
[Cuts to a scene with a smiley face balloon as main characters' souls are taken]
CCrow
Oh sure, just shove the irony down our throats!
S10Girl in Gold Boots
[Listening to song called "Everything I Touch Turns to Gold"]
CCrow
What happens when you touch gold?
[Michelle comes out of the kitchen, crying after being yelled at by her drunken father.]
BBuz
What's wrong?
CACrow [as Michelle]
I just found out what's in the "Special Sauce!"
[Buz furtively unzips his jacket and checks the pistol tucked into his belt as he steps out of his car.]
MAMike [as Buz]
Wh... oh, a gun. So that was the loud report and burning sensation in my groin.
I'll have ten Hershey bars.
CCrow
Tin Hershey bars? Those are hard to eat.
That'll be one dollar.
SAServo [as Critter]
I've got a "Happenings" coupon!
Can you cash a hundred?
I've never even seen one!
Fifty?
[Michelle shakes her head "no."]
MAMike [as Critter]
Oh. Well, I'll have a thousand Hershey bars then, I guess.
[A bad cut makes Buz suddenly appear while two other characters are talking]
SAServo [as Buz]
I'm back!
...
MAMike [as Buz]
Anybody notice that I'm here now?
...
CACrow [as Buz]
C'mon, I just teleported here! It's impressive!
[Michelle dances enthusiastically to a bongo beat at Leo's party.]
She makes Elaine Benes look like a good dancer.
[A car pulls up next to drug-dealing Buz and a middle-aged gentleman in a suit steps out]
MAMike [as Man]
[politely] Excuse me, young man--can I get a "fix"?
[Buz starts to run away. The man gives chase.]
SAServo [as Man]
No really, I'm very high-strung and in need of some "Mary Jane" or "reefers!"
[A series of signs that read: HELP! on the way to first assignment future soldier and war-bride honeymooning ]
Oh, so he learns he enjoys violence, and be ready to kill like, a man ought a.
. . .
[While Critter accompanies himself on guitar, Michelle moves not quite to the beat, while harmonica sounds come from nowhere.]
Honey, way to play the harmonica with your ass!
So here's a puzzler: who of these two is worse at their art form?
. . .
She's dancing the specials at T.G.I. Friday's.
CCrow
Well, I hope she tells us, in dance, about the Jack Daniel's grill.
. . .
[singing] But you must come down, put your feet on the ground, by and by.
[singing] You're living a lie.
[singing] You gotta come down.
[singing] You dance like a clown.
[singing] By and by.
[singing] I hope that you die!
[The movie opens with scantily clad go-go dancers performing.]
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm projecting my dreams again.
. . .
Shouldn't we be in individual booths for this movie?
. . .
CCrow
It's a jerk and pony marathon.
. . .
Mike, you're a human being. How come you don't have a body like that?
. . .
CCrow
The Kennedy Center tribute to Judy Carne.
. . .
Ed Grimley choreographed this dance.
. . .
Why does Noam Chomsky insist these women open for him?
[Over a shot of the diner showing the word "EAT"]
They forgot the "ME".
Ah, the nights we lingered over brandy at "Eat".
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.