Too bad we can't grab this movie with a tissue and crumple it and flush it down the toilet.
S10Horrors of Spider Island
CCrow
It's a dames and broads audition.
[Temple Foster is listed in the credits.]
Ah, Temple Foster, where they worship Australian beer.
[At the auditions, Gladys points out a "NO SMOKING" sign to smoker Linda, who takes it down and sits on it.]
Lucky sign!
[Linda begins stripping during the interview]
Shall I dance for you?
CCrow
Yes! For God's sakes, yes!
[Gary looks around the island when the crew first lands on the shore]
CACrow [as Gary]
I see a tall Spaniard in a white suit with a midget!
[Babs and Nelly get into a fight, tumbling on the floor.]
Man, they're future governors of Minnesota!
[A drunken Bobby makes crude comments about the dancers.]
JJoe
For you, the worst girl in the world is too good.
SAServo [as Bobby]
But I like Tonya Harding!
. . .
[After Joe and Bobby fight, then laugh it off, Bobby stumbles out of the cabin for a date.]
SAServo [as Bobby]
Boy! Defending my misogyny really takes commitment!
[Georgia catches Gary making out with one of the girls]
GGeorgia
Gary!
CACrow [as Georgia]
Your infidelity mildly irritates me!
GGary
This damned heat. I don't know what I'm doing anymore!
SAServo [as Gary]
Sure I was unfaithful, but it was like 87 degrees!
CACrow [as Gary]
It's pretty windy too! And high humidity!
[The moonlight casts the shadow of a palm tree against the side of the cabin.]
Look at that shadow - it's Sideshow Bob!
[Bobby wanders off into the jungle to the tune of Vince Guaraldi-esque piano music.]
CCrow
Soundtrack by Schroeder.
[As Mike is talking at the end of the movie, the screen suddenly goes black, and the music cuts off abruptly.]
...hey!
[The words "The End" abruptly appear]
So, you wanna end your movie that way, huh? Ok, get bent! We're outta here!
AAnn
[trying to get the attention of a passing ship] They must see us! They can't just leave us here! Hello! Hello!
MMay
Stop all that screaming, Ann. You're driving me crazy.
AAnn
Let me go! Hello, take us with you!
[the ship passes by] Damn Californian, it never helps anyone.
[Bobby starts shadow boxing while walking.]
CCrow
He saw an air molecule that respects women.
S10Squirm
CSCoily the Spring Sprite
So, you never want to see another spring, eh? Okay, mister, I'll fix it so you get that wish!
CACrow [as Coily]
...In HELL!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.