CCrow
Well, it shouldn't drink so much coffee!
S10It Lives by Night
[Cathy Beck groans as Dr. Kipling prepares a huge hypodermic needle for her husband.]
MAMike [as Kipling]
Posed like this in Playgirl, only without my pants!
[Kipling and his staff finally stop John Beck's seizure from the rabies vaccine.]
MAMike [as Kipling]
Um... do you have any drug allergies?
[Cathy tracks down Dr. Kipling on the ski slopes.]
CCathy
Dr. Kipling?
SAServo [as Cathy]
Rikki-Tikki-Tavi's waiting for you.
. . .
KDr. Kipling
Mrs. Beck...
MAMike [as Kipling]
...you're a loser, baby.
[Man-bat Beck closes the barn door and stumbles around in the dark.]
CCrow
Leave the door closed? What, were you born in a house?
[Cathy, now apparently a bat as well, walks back into the caves to join her husband]
CCrow
Now, wait a minute... how did she turn into a bat? The only contact she had with him was in the hotel and...
[Pause]
CCrow
[horrified] ...Oh, my god.
[disgusted] GAH!
[They rush out of the theater]
CCrow
OH MY GOD! I get the shower first!
No, me first!
Urgh!
S10Horrors of Spider Island
Too bad we can't grab this movie with a tissue and crumple it and flush it down the toilet.
CCrow
It's a dames and broads audition.
[Temple Foster is listed in the credits.]
Ah, Temple Foster, where they worship Australian beer.
[At the auditions, Gladys points out a "NO SMOKING" sign to smoker Linda, who takes it down and sits on it.]
Lucky sign!
[Linda begins stripping during the interview]
Shall I dance for you?
CCrow
Yes! For God's sakes, yes!
[Gary looks around the island when the crew first lands on the shore]
CACrow [as Gary]
I see a tall Spaniard in a white suit with a midget!
[Babs and Nelly get into a fight, tumbling on the floor.]
Man, they're future governors of Minnesota!
[A drunken Bobby makes crude comments about the dancers.]
JJoe
For you, the worst girl in the world is too good.
SAServo [as Bobby]
But I like Tonya Harding!
. . .
[After Joe and Bobby fight, then laugh it off, Bobby stumbles out of the cabin for a date.]
SAServo [as Bobby]
Boy! Defending my misogyny really takes commitment!
[Georgia catches Gary making out with one of the girls]
GGeorgia
Gary!
CACrow [as Georgia]
Your infidelity mildly irritates me!
GGary
This damned heat. I don't know what I'm doing anymore!
SAServo [as Gary]
Sure I was unfaithful, but it was like 87 degrees!
CACrow [as Gary]
It's pretty windy too! And high humidity!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.