Pitch quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Don't listen to him, Lupita! It's bad to steal, and you'll be sorry!

Ah, the classic battle between evil and the narrator.

That's right, Lupita, put it back.

Way to defeat Satan, honey.

[muttering angrily to himself] Curses! Wuzza-wuzza-wuzza-wuzza-Curses!

Mike

[bewildered] Oh, don't ever do that again.

Ah, hello again, America, and welcome to the third installment of my MST marathon. By the end of the day- you see, my mother is coming, and I promised her that I will RULE THE WORLD! AH HA HA HA HA-

Dr. Forrester, taste some of my cornbread stuffing, a recipe given me by the great Jacques Pépin as we were mushrooming and- [is pushed offscreen by Dr. Forrester]

Unfortunately, I've also got to deal with some weird guests that Frank invited before he was subsumed up into heaven whenever the hell that was. So if we're all very lucky, cross our fingers, we won't have anymore uninvited guests. [Pitch suddenly appears]

Hi! Heh heh heh!

Oh, go away!

Oh, but I brought a Mexican three-layer dip, heh heh heh!

Oh, just put it on the bed, I've got important things-

[suddenly appearing] Hi! Would you like to be a happy king?

Ah, Mr. B Natural, allow me to introduce Satan, Pitch, Scratch, Beelzebub, ruler of the domain of never-ending darkness, old gooseberry.

Great! I'm trying to rule the world before my mother gets here, and I've got Satan, I've got some androgynous man-woman, and I've got Peter Graves Jr. in my house!

Hey!

A joke, Perkins. A joke.

You know, Satan, I am pleased to meet you. Won't you guess my name? [he and Pitch laugh] But what's puzzling me...

The nature of my game! Heh heh heh!

Look you two, I don't care if Frank did invite you for Thanksgiving, I gotta control the world before my mother gets here or we are all in so much trouble! [the doorbell rings] Oh great, now who's this? Another freak for the pile?! [answers the door] And you would be...

[enters holding a litterbox] Uh, Kitten with the Whip. I brought this... [coughs up a hairball] For you. And where should I put this?

Oh, just put that in the bathroom, and don't spray anything! My mom's coming over.

Hey, it's not like I'm in heat! [Mr. B Natural walks by] Although I uh... could be persuaded.

She's a guy.

Aw...