Dr. Forrester, Jack Perkins and others in “Turkey Day '95”

Ah, hello again, America, and welcome to the third installment of my MST marathon. By the end of the day- you see, my mother is coming, and I promised her that I will RULE THE WORLD! AH HA HA HA HA-

Dr. Forrester, taste some of my cornbread stuffing, a recipe given me by the great Jacques Pépin as we were mushrooming and- [is pushed offscreen by Dr. Forrester]

Unfortunately, I've also got to deal with some weird guests that Frank invited before he was subsumed up into heaven whenever the hell that was. So if we're all very lucky, cross our fingers, we won't have anymore uninvited guests. [Pitch suddenly appears]

Hi! Heh heh heh!

Oh, go away!

Oh, but I brought a Mexican three-layer dip, heh heh heh!

Oh, just put it on the bed, I've got important things-

[suddenly appearing] Hi! Would you like to be a happy king?

Ah, Mr. B Natural, allow me to introduce Satan, Pitch, Scratch, Beelzebub, ruler of the domain of never-ending darkness, old gooseberry.

Great! I'm trying to rule the world before my mother gets here, and I've got Satan, I've got some androgynous man-woman, and I've got Peter Graves Jr. in my house!

Hey!

A joke, Perkins. A joke.