A character in Mystery Science Theater 3000
5th most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 224 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Tom Servo (132), Crow T. Robot (120), Mike Nelson (63)
..."A baseball game, oh boy." But when he gets there he finds a five-year-old can't get close enough to see anything.
Besides, the Mariners are playing, so who cares?
Unless someone lifts you up and put you on the lap of the undefeated champion of the world, Joe Louis.
Joe hits Johnny up for fifteen cents due to tax problems.
Johnny can't read the words "Chemical Wonderland".
Oh, we've all been there.
[Johnny watches himself jump in a distorting mirror.]
Afterwards, Johnny can't stop going up and down.
The drugs from the Chemical Wonderland start to kick in.
[Johnny spots a flying helicopter.]
"Oh, boy. A heel-a-copter airplane!"
What?
"Jiminy," thinks Johnny, "if only I could get a ride in one of those."
Visions of the Mekong Delta flash before Johnny's eyes.
[Champion figure skater Barbara Ann Scott gives Johnny a peck on the cheek. Embarrassed, he puts his head on her chest.]
"Jiminy," thinks Johnny, "if only I could get a ride in one of those."
Johnny does find a real aeroplane… and gets his ride.
Johnny thinks Amelia Earhart seems like a nice lady.
The Rebel Set (movie)
[A group of women skaters dressed as Zebras come on screen, and are described as actual animals.]
We're gettin' into a whole weird area, here.
Yes, it's sexist male fantasies on ice!
. . .
And now, the little bareback rider exhalts in her victory over the wild beasts!
[nervously chuckling] Uh-huh...
. . .
Yes, it's dehumanized, objectified circus on ice!
[The camera pans down from the spotlights to some skating ballerinas.]
And now, the spotlight falls on a world of delicate loveliness...
...and kills them.
Monster A Go-Go (movie)
There is one terrifying word in the world of nuclear physics...
"Oops".
..."radiation".
Oh.
As if a switch had been turned, as if an eye had been blinked as if some phantom force in the universe had made a move eons beyond our comprehension...
As if we cared.
Suddenly, there was no trail. There was no giant, no monster, no thing called Douglas to be followed. There was nothing in the tunnel but the puzzled men of courage who suddenly found themselves alone with the shadows and darkness!
Oh, the joke's on us!
Boooooo!
There's excitement everywhere, the circus here. Everyone is headed to the big top to thrill to and cheer on the funmakers, daredevils, freaks, and ferocious performing animals.
[Shot of circus-goers outside the tent]
And here come the freaks now! Look at them, all...
The beautiful bareback riding ballerina, Miss Lucy!
...could not be with us tonight, so instead we have this act.
[A clown rings a bell.]
Hey, C. Everett Kook!
[We cut to two clowns slapfighting.]
Presenting Boppo and Freddie for the funniest prizefight in circus history!
Bing Crosby's relationship with his son Gary is re-enacted.
Ha ha! Let the nightmare begin! Hoo hoo!
This is the strangest debate format I have ever seen.
You know, don't laugh, but in a way, this is this town's passion play.
Oh. It's a full contact Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?!
Don't talk about our clown, Martha.
[Cut to the next act, a lion tamer]
KITTIES!
Sheriff Billy's got a hangin' tree all set up for 'em.
Hey, kids, you ever read The Ox-Bow Incident?
He rides that horse like he was glued to the saddle.
I ammmmmmmmm!
[as Dr. Logan] I'm gonna snoop in a sock drawer. Heh-heh. [More boring filler as Dr. Logan examines the equipment. Joel and the bots doze off; Servo rests his head on Joel's shoulder, then Joel slumps left, leaving Servo snuggled in the crook of Joel's neck. Crow tilts to the right in his seat]
Dr. Logan did know where the giant was. [the three are startled awake and exclaim] In a store room in that very building. Logan had learned that massive doses of the antidote brought about an almost human appearance.
[as Dr. Logan] I did not. Quit lying!
Tom ServoKevin Murphy · 1,542 quotes
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
GGypsy75 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes