[The title "Circus on Ice" shows onscreen]
You got your circus on my ice!
Hey, you got your ice on my circus!
Two bad things that go worse together!
[Referencing a Reese's Peanut Butter Cups ad campaign.]
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 4
“Monster A Go-Go” · Season 4
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (11), Tom Servo (10), Joel Robinson (9), Narrator (4), Logan (2)
[The title "Circus on Ice" shows onscreen]
You got your circus on my ice!
Hey, you got your ice on my circus!
Two bad things that go worse together!
[Referencing a Reese's Peanut Butter Cups ad campaign.]
[in response to a clown on screen] Woah, seen him in my nightmares...
[Two pink tutu'd skaters perform a synchronized skating routine to a light, cheery tune.]
[singing]
These two girls, they make quite a pair.
They both come from your worst night-mare.
They will haunt your soul forever,
And now,
When you see pink,
You're gonna think,
"We're doomed".
They are agents of Satan...
[laughing] Okay, stop it, Tom...
[A group of women skaters dressed as Zebras come on screen, and are described as actual animals.]
We're gettin' into a whole weird area, here.
Yes, it's sexist male fantasies on ice!
. . .
And now, the little bareback rider exhalts in her victory over the wild beasts!
[nervously chuckling] Uh-huh...
. . .
Yes, it's dehumanized, objectified circus on ice!
[A skater portrays a fawn trying vainly to escape from hunters.]
Prelude to the afternoon of a murder.
. . .
Oh, Mom, I don't wanna... [gulps] I don't like the Circus on Ice anymore! I wanna go home!
Shut up and watch the deer get slaughtered! It's fun!
. . .
Oh, and she skates over her own intestines.
[The camera pans down from the spotlights to some skating ballerinas.]
And now, the spotlight falls on a world of delicate loveliness...
...and kills them.
Monster A Go-Go (movie)
[Over the film's title]
Monster A Go-Go? I thought this was gonna be Munster Go Home!
. . .
You know, guys, I got a feeling this is gonna be a tough one.
Oh, it might not be too bad...
No, I think Joel's right, this one has "stinkburger" written all over it.
Yeah...
[sighs indignantly] C'mon, you can't tell just from the credits!
No, no, it's a feeling I have. My gut instincts tell me that this is gonna hurt real bad.
Joel, it's not healthy to have such a negative attitude right out of the gate.
It's just common sense, Crow. There's a feeling of incompetence already in the air here.
Yeah, we might as well face up to it...
Well, I refuse to give in so soon! I'm gonna riff away like it's nobody's business! ...I-I can't think of anything now, but...
[The credits mention that the film's music was performed by a group called The Other Three; part of the credit is cut off by the side of the screen.]
[reading] The Other Th?
[The credits list Bill Rebane as the film's producer; his name reappears as the film's director.]
[enthusiastically] Hey, what a coincidence, there were two guys named Bill Rebane! Heh heh...y'know, ya see, 'cause of the thing with the... and the... uh, the guy, the... [deflating] This is gonna suck.
[A scientist is walking up a flight of stairs with music playing.]
Hey, its the musical stairs from the science museum.
[Dr. Logan just gets through talking on the phone and he looks distraught]
That's it. I'm dead. I'm a dead man. I'm a dead man walking, and talking and wearing clothes, that's how dead I am. I'm dead.
[Dr. Brent tries to find out why Dr. Logan didn't tell him he had the monster in one of his radiation labs for the last eight weeks]
Why didn't you tell us then?
I don't know. I was trying to help.
[whining] I was just trying to help.
Help? You've jeopardized this whole project!
What the hell do you want from me, Dr. Brent?! I don't have a precision mind like yours!
I'm only a scientist!
[Close up on a phone when a ringing sound (made by a person offscreen) goes off]
[in disbelief] Unbelieveable...
[Tom bursts out into laughter]
Hello? [A pause] Yes?
I made that phone noise.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.