A character in Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,660 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Tom Servo (818), Mike Nelson (376), Joel Robinson (271)
[Cathy, now apparently a bat as well, walks back into the caves to join her husband]
Now, wait a minute... how did she turn into a bat? The only contact she had with him was in the hotel and...
[Pause]
[horrified] ...Oh, my god.
[disgusted] GAH!
[They rush out of the theater]
OH MY GOD! I get the shower first!
No, me first!
Urgh!
[Linda begins stripping during the interview]
Shall I dance for you?
Yes! For God's sakes, yes!
[Georgia catches Gary making out with one of the girls]
Gary!
Your infidelity mildly irritates me!
This damned heat. I don't know what I'm doing anymore!
Sure I was unfaithful, but it was like 87 degrees!
It's pretty windy too! And high humidity!
So, you never want to see another spring, eh? Okay, mister, I'll fix it so you get that wish!
...In HELL!
[After Gilbert, a rather rotund man, wishes there were no springs, Coily magically makes them disappear from the world.]
So, one clod says one thing and the whole world pays???
No springs? I don't care. There's still butter and meatloaf.
Why, I can't think of anything that doesn't involve the use of a spring in one way or another! [inexplicably looks into sky]
Hey, look! God has a spring!
[Gilbert finally finishes lecturing his friends on springs as he pulls up to Joe's house.]
Hey, Joe! Wake up!
It's Coily's army of darkness! Look!
. . .
You and your springs! I hope I never see another--
Stop! Don't say it! Don't ever wish anything like that as long as you live!
[Gilbert looks down to see Coily the Spring Sprite materialize on his car seat. Coily cackles.]
You'll be the first to die!
[Mama Sanders and Geri get into an argument over Geri's "gentleman caller."]
Alright, alright, I'll stop butting in.
Mom, you don't even have a butt.
I just don't want you to be too disappointed if he doesn't come.
Mother! That's private.
[in her exaggerated Southern accent] I never saw such a storm...
I do hope Ashley Wilkes can get through.
[As the movie is ending]
Please, folks, remember to worm your dog.
And if you do start a worm farm, do not raise flesh-eating intelligent millipedes by mistake.
And if you have red hair, do not mate.
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and it's this movie!
Okay, out.
What? But that's Shakespeare!
Out!
Oh, c'mon...
[as the scenes cut rapidly]
Door is ajar.
The temperature is negative five degrees!
He's well-groomed for a man who lives alone.
The time is 5:06 a.m.
The temperature is ten degrees!
Door is ajar.
He's well-groomed for a man who lives alone.
The time is 8:06 a.m.
The temperature is twenty degrees!!!
[as the title card appears]
Well, if you insist.
WILDERNESS!
[as Bigfoot yells for Paul in his sleep]
Your father is in great danger, Paul!
Sweetums, is that you???
He needs your help!
And like ten bucks for gas money so he can get back to Albany!
Hurry, Paul!
I've shouted at three different boy schools! Is this the right Paul?!
[as Paul runs through the landscape near a lake away from his father, who is carrying a rifle]
Ha ha, dad! Chase me! I'm precocious and filled with wonder! We are but stardust!
You can't spell "dad" without ADD.
Paul!
Aww, I'm gonna have to wing him to stop him. Won't be the first time. BANG!
[cut to them both across the lake]
Wait a minute, did they just run across that lake?
PAAAUUUL!
BANG!
But I'm still so curious!
BANG!
Tom ServoKevin Murphy · 1,542 quotes
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
NNarrator224 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
GGypsy75 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.