You know, this is almost as good as 2001... nails driven into your eyes!
Crow T. Robot
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,660 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Tom Servo (818), Mike Nelson (376), Joel Robinson (271)
Lines by Crow T. Robot 421
[During another flashback sequence...]
We didn't like these scenes the first time!
. . .
[The flashback includes a moment that only happened a few scenes earlier.]
No fair! You can't flash back to stuff we saw ten seconds ago!
[A paunchy man in a black leather jacket is seen at the pool hall.]
Chubby Ramone!
[Near the end of the film, a door slams in the background]
Oh, that was the sound of the director giving up and leaving.
[The opening credits are shown against scenes of a swarm of honeybees.]
They named every bee? This is gonna take forever...
[A car pulls up in front of a very hairy-looking tree.]
Hey, they're growing Bill the Cat!
[After Vicki passes out from exhaustion during her solo, the music is still playing on the reel-to-reel, with her voice still singing as well.]
She still lip-syncs better than Jewel.
[Moments after Vicki drops a flaming log on Manfred's carpet, his entire house is engulfed in flames.]
The house was made of typing paper and oily rags.
[Nerdy guy pauses a moment to look at marquee with ladies' legs.]
Oh, come on! You're gay and you know it!
[At the 1962 Seattle World's Fair, we see a science exhibit entitled How Do Animals Learn?]
"How Do Animals Learn?" Well, as long as they learn to taste good, I don't really care.
[Outside the cave, the kids stare at a shaft of light descending from the sky.]
[mesmerized] Yes -- I will take money from my dad's wallet and send it to Soupy Sales.
[Tim flees from his violent, drunken stepfather (played by Russell Johnson), but is finally caught.]
Whooh. Imagine having your butt whooped by "And The Rest"!
[Mild-mannered assistant security guard Kevin goes looking for a would-be robber.]
So, did the ad for the job read, "Wanted: whiny, halfwit coward"?
[Kevin shoots a gun into the air]
Oh, great! You just shot down Air Force One, you dope!
Can we make it a rule that, in the future, films have to be made by filmmakers?
More Mystery Science Theater 3000 characters
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EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.