A character in Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,660 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Tom Servo (818), Mike Nelson (376), Joel Robinson (271)
[Tony and Koenig watch a video of an "alien" -- a man whose face shows through his pumpkin-shaped and -colored rubber mask.]
Kind of a jack-o'-lantern monster.
[deadpan] Ooh, very scary. I'm trembling.
I think the prop department juuuust ran out of money.
[Integrating an alien power supply into their Eagle, Tony, reading some instructions, counts off numbers to Commander Koenig.]
1... 2...
3...
5...
What?!
6...
That's why they're in such trouble.
7... 4.
Well, they are British.
[Blonde bimbo Angela Garland boards the plane, still wearing her "Miss SST" outfit and sash.]
[vapidly] Hello!
[The flight attendants watch her sashay to her seat.]
Please put your brain under the seat in front of you.
[Having achieved a cruising altitude of 65,000 feet, Captain Walsh gets on the intercom.]
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Walsh. If you'll look out your windows, you'll see a sight that very few except the astronauts have ever seen.
An oncoming plane.
Although the sky above remains black…
… our wing is completely on fire, not unlike re-entry.
[As the SST stabilizes, Kingman herds the passengers toward the rear of the plane.]
Please, do something! We'll all be killed!
I guess she's in charge of panicking.
Okay, all the actors form a line! "Love Boat" on the left, "Fantasy Island" on the right!
[The film ends just before the kickoff.]
There's nothing quite like it. Super Bowl. Three hours from now the game will be history, but the lives of the players and fans alike will never be the same.
[annoyed] Who won?
I know I'll never be quite the same.
This movie's history.
We're history.
Let's go.
[Joel and Crow get up to leave. Servo hangs back.]
Who won? ... Who won? ... Who won the game?!
[After a helpful title card informs us that "What you are about to see could happen to any city, anywhere."]
Oh, good. ... It can happen in any city to any person. So wha–
[Barry Newman's credit appears.]
Like Barry Newman.
So stop watching TV and get ready for the big huge fire! The apocalypse that could happen this Sunday night.
I bet this was made in Canada.
Oui.
[Doctor Whitman is evacuating the children's ward.]
You all know "Follow the Leader"?
This is called "Follow the Burning Doctor".
[A woman is going into labor.]
Get a catcher's mitt!
Boil some water.
Boil some newspapers!
Kinda sorry Shelley bought it.
Yeah... kinda of a shame.
She bought it, but we paid for it.
[High school girls attend an assembly. Someone, possibly the principal introduces the speaker in silence.]
Your Period and Mine: A Lecture.
Hello. Am I on? Is this thing on? You wanna look at that, Helen?
[A matronly woman steps up to the podium on stage.]
Today, I'd like to tell you about several girls I know very well.
...and why I'm being fired.
[As Kay sends her application letter.]
She got a real thrill out of dropping that letter in the box.
(chuckles maniacly)
Be cool! Be cool! Come on! Be cool! Just... Oh, that's good! Now let's get out of here.
[In the next scene, Kay gets her acceptance letter.]
It's here already! Oh, shoot! I mailed it to myself!
It's from Ed McMahon! It says I may already be a winner!
[A football game is starting.]
Hey, look! It's the Woodstock of the 50s! Vic Damone's on next.
Play "Whipping Post"!
[A band leader with a fuzzy hat is marching forward.]
[in marching cadence] I'm a Q-tip, what are you!
[During the game, two cheerleaders gesture downward with with pom-poms.]
Look, look, look at my crotch. Look, look look at my crotch. Loooook at my crotch. Yay!
[Near the end of the piece, shot of a building named "Home Economics".]
Joel [as announcer] Home Economics, starring Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.
What is "Home Economics"?
Boy, you'd think they would have told us by now...
Tom ServoKevin Murphy · 1,542 quotes
Mike NelsonMichael J. Nelson · 824 quotes
Joel RobinsonJoel Hodgson · 542 quotes
NNarrator224 quotes
JJonah171 quotes
GGypsy75 quotes
EEmily69 quotes
CFDr. Clayton Forrester57 quotes
PFPearl Forrester26 quotes
MMax22 quotes
KFKinga Forrester21 quotes
JPJack Perkins20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.