Adrian helped me out of a jam when we were young. Was that 30 years ago?
April 12, 1972.
You remember?
I only remember the date... and what everybody wore, and what everybody said, and what everybody did.
S4 E8Mr. Monk and Little Monk
MMrs. Monk
Adrian!
Mom, everybody's watching.
MMrs. Monk
Here's your lunch. It's cut into ten little squares, just like we like. And here's your first aid kit, and your toiletries bag.
Mom...
MMrs. Monk
You'll thank me later. Don't share your lunch with anyone, and sit near the fire doors. I'll pick you up at 3:07, I'll be wearing an orange blouse.
Mom, I know what you look like. I love you, Mom.
[He opens his arms to hug her.]
MMrs. Monk
What are you doing?
Right, sorry.
[He puts down one of his bags and gives her a brisk handshake.]
What was he like? As a kid?
Pretty much the same. Careful, smart... sad.
LMrs. Ledsky
Here, take this one. I made it with exactly ten chocolate chips, like you like.
[bites the cookie] You're an excellent cook, Mrs. Ledsky.
LMrs. Ledsky
It's a gift... [hand to her stomach] And a curse.
[Monk and Sherry Judd look at a painting in an art gallery]
I love this one - look at their faces. I wonder what they're thinking.
She is planning to murder him.
What?
She's about to feed him Amanita mushrooms - you can tell by the little white spots. It's a deadly poison.
Well maybe she doesn't know?
She knows. He's been hitting her. She's swollen. See the bruises on her arms and her left eye? She knows what she's doing. [pause]
It must be hard, to be you - to see everything.
It's awful.
S4 E9Mr. Monk and the Secret Santa
I've never seen the snow. Is it beautiful?
Oh, yes. It's beautiful. You know, no two snowflakes are alike... and it's still beautiful.
[Terry is putting up a "MERRY CHRISTMAS" banner, which is slightly askew]
Terry, hey! That's not straight. The left side is too low.
TCDetective Terry Chasen
It's good enough.
No, it's not. Adrian Monk is coming.
TCDetective Terry Chasen
Ah, hell. Okay.
You looking forward to our little party, Alice?
CACpl. Alice Westergren
Uh, I guess so. How long do these things usually last?
Last year, Karen and I left at about 2:30 AM and Terry - Detective Chasen - was still standing on a table in his boxer shorts singing "Help Me, Rhonda" in Spanish.
TCDetective Terry Chasen
That's a lie! I don't speak Spanish!
Oh yes, you do!
CACpl. Alice Westergren
Oh, and this came for you. Someone dropped this off at the front desk. [hands Stottlemeyer the bottle of port]
[reads the card attached to the bottle] "Captain Leland Stottlemeyer." [opens it] "Captain Stottlemeyer, thank you for your business. Eastwood Auto Supply." [turns to Alice] You know what this is, Alice? This is a bribe. Somebody is trying to influence public policy, and I think it might work.
[Disher is tuning up Stottlemeyer's guitar]
I used to have a rock band back in high school. The Randy Disher Project.
That's a good name. How'd you come up with that?
Well, my name's Randy... Disher, and then... Project.
[after Monk gives him an air purifier] Do you um, know what eBay is?
eBay? No.
Good.
[the SFPD has come to arrest Frank Prager, who is hiding in a church]
SHSister Heather
Captain Stottlemeyer, I'm Sister Heather.
Hi, sister. You know why I'm here, right?
SHSister Heather
Yes. He's here; he's in the sanctuary. He's very frightened. You think he tried to murder you?
Yes, ma'am, I do.
SHSister Heather
You obviously have very strong feelings about this.
You're godda- Yes, I do.
SHSister Heather
I just want to make sure that Brad isn't mistreated.
Brad's not his name.
SHSister Heather
You're right, I don't know his real name, but I know the man. He's been working in our outreach program. He's been feeding the hungry and the homeless every night. When they're too tired to come here, he brings food to them.
Maybe he has a guilty conscience.
SHSister Heather
Well, any conscience at all is a rare thing these days. What do you want, Captain?
I want justice.
SHSister Heather
Well, he's afraid that you want something else. He's afraid you and the other policemen want...
Revenge.
SHSister Heather
My father once taught me an important lesson: "There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."
Your father?
SHSister Heather
He's your father, too.
[Stottlemeyer takes Monk to the parking lot where Prager tried to kill him]
Four months ago, it was a Tuesday night, I came out of a bar, around 2:30. [flashback to Stottlemeyer leaving that bar] They took my keys, so I'm walking home. [flashback ends] There was-there was a big black van here, he was waiting behind it. [points to a space occupied by a vintage car] Must've been parked here all night. [In flashback, Prager steps out from behind the van] He steps out. I'm standing right about where you are now. I knew who it was right away: it was Frank Prager, and he wanted me dead. I could see it in his eyes. [Stottlemeyer, in flashback, sees Prager's cold vengeful glare. Suddenly Prager brings up a gun and fires five shots at Stottlemeyer, but Stottlemeyer ducks behind a car, but by the time he brings up his S&W gun, Prager has vanished] He aims a Glock 17 at my head, caps off five rounds. And then he just disappeared. Until last night.
And they just left the bullet holes?
Well it's probably good for business at this place. It adds to the mystique.
[Monk and Stottlemeyer have viewed the scene where Frank Prager fired at Stottlemeyer]
Maybe he's home for Christmas.
Monk, I can't go near the place! The um, the wife filed a complaint against me. Said I had been harassing her.
Why would she say that?
Uhhh, probably because I'd been harassing her. [points his finger at Monk] She's never seen you.
S4 E10Mr. Monk Goes to a Fashion Show
[after Hodge insults her outfit] He did it!
Natalie, he's not even a suspect!
Damn!
[Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher visit Hodge's fashion house to talk to him. Hodge advances on Natalie]
JHJulian Hodge
If you're gonna rob me, you should bring a gun.
Pardon me?
JHJulian Hodge
The blouse. It's a knock-off of one of my designs.
Oh. It is? I didn't know.
JHJulian Hodge
Of course. That's not the real crime. The real crime is how you look in it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.