Natalie Teeger quotes from Monk

Broken arm, broken leg, probably a couple of broken ribs. Suitcase took most of the blow; it could've been much worse.

Natalie Teeger

Can he identify the driver?

He can't identify me! I'll check back later. [to Monk] What have you got?

Condensation. The air conditioner was running, and the humidity is what, about 70%? So that car was idling right here for about 20 minutes.

So what, he was waiting for him?

From the tire tracks, he must have peeled out at full speed.

So he didn't even try to brake, or make the turn? Son-of-a-bitch! [to Natalie] What happened?! He was only here for an hour! Did he piss somebody off?

[produces an evidence bag] And we found this, near the gas pedal. It's some kind of green mud.

I'll get this down to the lab right away.

Natalie Teeger

Captain, it's not your case.

By hell it's not! [Lieutenant Bristo approaches]

S4 E7 Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding

View quote →

[Monk and Natalie see Stottlemeyer posing as a photographer]

Natalie Teeger

Captain, what are you doing here?

Taking pictures. I overheard your mother say that the wedding photographer didn't show up, so I volunteered. I borrowed this from one of the crime tech guys.

Natalie Teeger

Why?

Because Randy says he thinks he can identify the driver.

Did he get a good look at him?

Yep. Male Caucasian, medium build, red baseball cap, sunglasses. I figure I'd develop these tonight, and maybe we'll get lucky.

Natalie Teeger

You're undercover at my brother's wedding?

Look, I'm doing you a favor. It's either this or we take everybody upstairs one at a time. Smile. [Monk and Natalie smile as Stottlemeyer snaps a photo of them]

S4 E7 Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding

View quote →

Natalie Teeger

What was he like? As a kid?

Sherry Judd

Pretty much the same. Careful, smart... sad.

S4 E8 Mr. Monk and Little Monk

View quote →

Natalie Teeger

[after Hodge insults her outfit] He did it!

Natalie, he's not even a suspect!

Natalie Teeger

Damn!

View quote →

[Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher visit Hodge's fashion house to talk to him. Hodge advances on Natalie]

JHJulian Hodge

If you're gonna rob me, you should bring a gun.

Natalie Teeger

Pardon me?

JHJulian Hodge

The blouse. It's a knock-off of one of my designs.

Natalie Teeger

Oh. It is? I didn't know.

JHJulian Hodge

Of course. That's not the real crime. The real crime is how you look in it.

View quote →

[Natalie, wearing a black dress and sunglasses, approaches Randy, who is standing with one foot on a rock, his elbow on his knee, and his head on his fist, gazing off over the water]

Natalie Teeger

What are you doing?

Standing. This is how I stand. What are you wearing?

Natalie Teeger

Clothes. This is how I dress.

This is how I stand.

Natalie Teeger

This is how I dress.

View quote →

[Julian Hodge has been arrested for murder and he is being led away in handcuffs]

JHJulian Hodge

[to Natalie] So, it's true what they say, huh? You can never judge a person by how they dress.

Natalie Teeger

Well, let me tell you about what you're going to be wearing. I hope you like orange. It's a little jumpsuit thing, it has a number right here. You can wear it anywhere, really. Indoors, walking around the yard...

View quote →

[Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher are looking over the evidence from the Clea Vance murder case at the crime lab]

HGHoward "Gordo" Gordon

Is there any new evidence?

No. Monk met the killer's mother.

She's a shirt inspector.

Natalie Teeger

She swears he's innocent.

HGHoward "Gordo" Gordon

I know. That's the toughest part of the job, the mothers crying and pleading. That's one thing I'm not gonna miss!

Where are you going?

HGHoward "Gordo" Gordon

Didn't you hear? I'm retiring! There's a party for me on Friday if you wanna come.

Cool, absolutely! I'll be there.

You're retiring? How old are you?

HGHoward "Gordo" Gordon

46.

[in disbelief] Did you win the lottery?

HGHoward "Gordo" Gordon

No, I've been investing. Real estate. What have you been doing with your savings?

Uhhhhhhhhhhh, eating. You know, I think I need to talk to my accountant.

Natalie Teeger

What, you have an accountant?

Nope. Gonna have to go find an accountant, then I'm gonna talk to him.

View quote →

[Natasia Zorelle has been discovered dead in her apartment. Gordo is dusting a glass for fingerprints when Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher come in]

How's it look, Gordo?

HGHoward "Gordo" Gordon

Oh, looks like suicide, smells like suicide. Primary's on suicide. She drained two of those bottles and around 30 sleeping pills.

Were those prescription?

HGHoward "Gordo" Gordon

Probably not.

[to Randy] We'll check with her doctor. Make a note.

I'll remember. [Randy is wearing an expensive suit, due to Hodge's comment about his attitude getting way over his head]

Where's your notebook?

Oh, I didn't bring it. It's an Italian suit, it was ruining the lining. But don't worry. [points to his head] I'll remember it. [He gazes at a mirror and tries to readjust the lining, but Natalie moves in front of him and blocks his view]

Natalie Teeger

Am I in your way?

HGHoward "Gordo" Gordon

[to Monk] She probably got depressed after you spoke to her. All those memories about the murder bubbling up.

You know, I don't think so. One set of fingerprints on the glass.

HGHoward "Gordo" Gordon

Well yeah, they're hers.

But look, she's wearing lipstick. There's no lipstick on the glass. Somebody wiped down the glass, and then put it back in her hand. [Stottlemeyer turns and addresses all of the other cops and CSI techs in the room]

Okay! This is now a homicide investigation! Lock this joint down, nobody touches anything! [turning to Randy] Fabio, go and borrow a notebook, and borrow a pencil, and start talking to neighbors!

Natalie Teeger

Captain, what do you think it means?

It means that your boss scared somebody.

View quote →

[Monk and Natalie are observing Julie before the rehearsal for Hodge's show]

Natalie Teeger

She looks beautiful, doesn't she? Too beautiful. Sometimes I wish she had a big old fat ugly wart right here. [points to her forehead]

[puts his finger right above the bridge of Natalie's nose] Maybe here.