Nathan Young quotes from Misfits

Kelly

What did you do?

Nathan

Me? I was done for eating some pick 'n' mix.

Kelly

Bollocks.

Tony

It's my car!

Nathan

Ha, classic!

Kelly

You know, after the storm, did any of you's start feeling dead weird?

Nathan

Yeah, I had a strange tingling sensation in my anus.

Nathan

A group of young people doing mindless shit all day. Face it man it's bound to happen. It always does. It's biology. Or physics. One of those. Do we have a deal? [Spits on his hand]

Curtis

No.

Curtis

They said 'cause of my profile, they needed to send a message.

Nathan

You let yourself down. You let the kids down. You let your parents down.

Nathan

OK. If you can hear our thoughts, what am I thinking? [thinks “This is bullshit”]

Kelly

Do you think it's bullshit?

Nathan

Of course I think it's bullshit, you don't need to be a mind reader to know that.

Kelly

Why are you on a wheelchair?

Nathan

It was the storm. The strange tingling sensation in my anus is spread to my body, and now... I can't feel my legs.

Kelly

I'm serious

Simon

Maybe you can fly.

Alisha

He's not gonna be able to fly.

Nathan

Yeah, there's always someone that can fly. Check it out.

Kelly

Don't.

Nathan

Ow! No, that's not it.

Curtis

So what happens now? Is this it? Are we gonna be like this forever?

Simon

What if we are meant to be, like, superheroes?

Nathan

You lot, superheroes? No offence, but in what kind of fucked-up world would that be allowed to happen?

Alisha

I did not sign up for that.

Nathan

Superheroes! I love this guy... you prick!

Kelly

What if there’s load of people like us all over town?

Nathan

No, that kind of thing only happens in America. This will fade away. I’m telling you, by this time next week, it’ll be back to the same old boring shit.

Nathan

You can think what you like, but I have a superpower and I just need to find out what it is.

Alisha

Maybe you're just super-retarded.

Nathan

Maybe I've got a whole Spider-Man vibe going on. You know, maybe I can climb stuff and do spider shit.

Curtis

Yeah, because that makes perfect sense. Why would you be able to climb stuff?

Nathan

I don't know. How is it that you can turn back time, apparently, and weird kid can turn invisible? It's not like this whole situation is backed up by a wank-load of logic.

Simon

Maybe he's a werewolf.

Nathan

Twat.

Simon

It's what happens in the films. You turn into a werewolf, you kill someone and you wake up somewhere, naked –like a zoo.

Kelly

[Goes near Stan, the old man] Is he dead? I think he's dead.

Nathan

[Goes near one of the man's hears] SHE'S STEALING YOUR PENSION!

OOH!

Nathan

Nah, he's fine.

[thinking] My mouth's as dry as a badgers chaff!

Kelly

Do you want a cup of tea? [hands him one]

[thinking] Well, bugger me!

Kelly

Is this a wind up? Is this you?

Nathan

If I was trying to wind you up, I think I’d be a little more creative. “I know what film you saw last summer.”

Nathan

Listen, I’m telling you, Mom. He was out there running around naked like a wolf boy.

Louise

What's a wolf boy?

Nathan

It’s a boy, raised by wolves. You know, little hairy kid in Siberia. We watched it on the Discovery Channel.

Nathan

So just... take your crappy shit, and go. [Breaks a radio]

That's your mum's.

Nathan

Well, I'll buy her a new one 'cause that's what sons do for their mums.

Nathan

I shagged someone's gran!

I haven't got any grandchildren.

Nathan

Well, that's ok than, because that could have been really awkward.