If Frank Burns makes any more patronizing cracks about my age, I'll take him behind the motor pool and let the air out of his tires.
“Hawkeye Get Your Gun” · Season 5
In this episode: Colonel Potter (3), Hawkeye Pierce (2)
(both drunk, under fire, in a foxhole)
Fire that weapon!
Fire it? I don't even like looking at it!
I said fire that weapon!
All right. [To the gun] You're fired! [To Potter] I did it as gently as I could.
That was an order, Pierce.
(Snapping his fingers): Oh waiter, would you take this man's order, please?
Fire the gun Hawkeye.
Look Colonel, I'll heal their wounds, treat their wounds, bind their wounds, but I will not inflict their wounds.
You can't just sit there.
I may be sitting on the outside but I'm running on the inside.
You love life that little?
I hate GUNS that much.
BJB. J.
[hands Hawkeye a pistol] Your artillery, pard.
Is it loaded?
BJB. J.
Filled it with water myself, Colonel.
Watch out, everybody, I shoot to drown.
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