BWA big woman
(to Al) Hey! You're in my sun. I'm trying to get an all-over tan.
Well, you're asking a lot of the sun.
WWoman
(Sobs) Oh!
S3 E21Life's a Beach
[Steve has just asked Al for a favor.]
What? Grab your wife's legs and make a wish.
[Marcy is offended and stands up to try to strangle Al.]
S3 E22Here's Lookin' at You, Kid
Al, nobody wants to peep me. Hold me!
Well nobody wants to hold you either.
APAl and Peg's neighbor
I've been peeped too, it was horrible!
How was it for you?
APAl and Peg's neighbor
He peeped me last night!
He peeped YOU??
APAl and Peg's neighbor
Yes, it was horrible!
But how was it for you?
S4 E1Hot Off The Grill
Which brings us to a little promise you made just last spring...
Sex again. Peg, we've been married for seventeen years. Now can't we just be friends?
No! I don't like you, I just want to have sex with you.
Labor Day... what does it mean to us? To answer that question, we must hark back to earlier times. You see, kids, while the cavewoman sat around getting fat, smoking cigarettes, and watching the Phil Jabberman show, the caveman braved the elements, risking life and limb, with only the hair on his back...
[Dissolve to later.]
In 1492, Columbus brought Labor Day to America...
[Dissolve to still later.]
...and the women still did nothing! And that's what Labor Day means to me.
Guys, guys, guys. This should be a happy day, not fighting, and arguing, and... (looks at Peggy) having sex with our spouses.
Ah, this is gonna be just great. You know, there's nothing like spending Labor Day with the family, and good food and good friends. (sobs) Oh, God. What a charade! (looks at Peggy) Oh, God!
I don't want to sit around the house all day and sleep. It's like being at school.
No, the difference between here and school is, you'll be out of here when you're eighteen.
S4 E2Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics
There are two things Peggy Bundy doesn't do. Number one: cook, clean, sew, vacuum, iron and parent. And number two: exercise.
JJJim Jupiter
I'm Jim Jupiter, the healthiest man in Chicago.
Then you should heal quick when I pull your spine through your mouth.
You know, you got a lot of nerve. Did I come over your house when you won the "Woman in Banking" award?
Yes, you did. And you stole a whole chicken.
Yeah, but least I didn't wiggle my butt in front of it when I did it.
S4 E3Buck Saves The Day
BBoy
I want my mommy.
Yeah, so does your dad's brother.
(After Buck Returns Home Wuth A Letter In His Mouth) Kelly:Here Look It's Buck Peg:Didn't He Go Camping With The Boys Kelly:(Notices The Letter) He's Carrying Something In His Mouth (Buck Growls) Peg:I'll Guess He'll Give It To Us When Hes Good And Ready Peg And Kelly Walk Away Leaving Buck Laying Down On The Couch)
(After Kelly Wins At Poker By Cheating) Peg:Kelly I Saw You Cheating Kelly:Okay Mom What Is It? Your Usual 50% Peg: Lets Make It 60 That Way You Learned Your Lesson
I'm glad you're in a jovial mood. You fall asleep at the wheel, you roll the van, you lose our supplies, and, thanks to you, we're gonna die.
BBoy
I want my mommy.
Yeah, so does your dad's brother.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.