(After Buck Returns Home Wuth A Letter In His Mouth) Kelly:Here Look It's Buck Peg:Didn't He Go Camping With The Boys Kelly:(Notices The Letter) He's Carrying Something In His Mouth (Buck Growls) Peg:I'll Guess He'll Give It To Us When Hes Good And Ready Peg And Kelly Walk Away Leaving Buck Laying Down On The Couch)
(After Kelly Wins At Poker By Cheating) Peg:Kelly I Saw You Cheating Kelly:Okay Mom What Is It? Your Usual 50% Peg: Lets Make It 60 That Way You Learned Your Lesson
Once upon a time, there was a young boy. A boy, full of hope. He was single, thus he was happy. Then, one night, much like tonight. Something rose from the swamp. He heard a noise behind him. Thump-thump, thump-thump. He walked a little faster. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. And then he saw it. And there, in the light of a bar...stood the evil, red-headed, high-heeled, spandex monster. He ran from it. He stood it up. He dated others, but nothing could stop it. He could hear its wild call: (scrunches up his face, in a high voice): Oh, honey! Honey! It was horrible. Finally, it trapped him. Opened, opened its hideous mouth, bared its fangs, and said, (scrunches his face up again, in the same high voice): Marry me!
Yes, I'm afraid he did. And he was never heard from again. But the worst part of it is... there's still some of them out there. There might be one... (points)behind that tree!
Then again, there might not be. But beware. Because wherever a man is free and has change in his pockets, they'll come a-creeping, and they can't be stopped. Now sleep... if you can. (laughs evilly)
Oh, Kelly. Just do what I did when I was your age: push your way to the road manager and tell him, "It's worth letting me in. Ask anybody." And, if anyone touches you, scream, "Jailbait!"
