JeffersonAl, you have done it this time! For the sake of my own safety, this partnership is dissolved.
Jefferson
I do not think you are fully aware of what you did by offending Madame Inga. Word is she is gathering all the dark forces of Sweden to invoke a curse on your house.
Al laughs uproariously
You should listen to yourself! The dark forces of Sweden?! Oh no, the Swedish are after me! What can they do? Transform my Dodge into a Volvo? See my house is now furnished by Ikea? Or even worse, I wake up one morning next to some long-legged, blonde Nordic beauty with amazing bazoombas!
Every day for the past 30 years you high-heeled pitbulls blamed us for everything. From not being able to go to Harvard to not being able to get into strech pants.
[the men agree]
BBob
We've been called pigs.
PPete
We've been called scum.
Jefferson
We've even been called Ply wood bottoms.
[the men look at him wierd]
Jefferson
Or at least I have.
But we're sick and tired of it. Now we have a list of demands and if these demands are not met, we're going to take this masculine feminist and we're going to perform television's first sexorcism.
[A tied up Jerry Springer is nervous and tries to back away from Al and the members of No MA'AM. The male audience cheers]
Tell them what that is Jefferson.
Jefferson
[removes mask] My name's Hank.
Jefferson
That's ok Al.
[the men look at him wierd]'
Jefferson
Anyway if these demands go unheeded, not only we'll Jerry to watch hours of Pro Wrestling. But we'll force him to watch them in these.
[Jim reveals a stinky yellow under shrit and Pete shows a pair of boxers which reads "It's All Me."]
Jefferson
A Stinky yellow undershirt and a pair of boxers which reads "It's All Me."
[the men cheered as the No Ma'am members shove the clothes in Jerry's face who tries to resist them]
Hey, Stubby, we heard about what happened, so we got you a card.
Jefferson
I talked her out of the "Ask me about me circumcision" bumper sticker.
We heard about your little loss.
We know you'll make it through,
Because thankfully the part they took
Was of no use to you.
And though they took more than you'd like,
The good luck is, you see,
Another quarter inch would have been
A full lobotomy.
(Al and the NO MA'AM group are up on his roof assembling a satellite dish)
Jefferson
(reading the assembly instructions) Let's see here. I've got Bracket S and Washer T. Hey, Dan. Hand me Screw U.
Jefferson
I said Screw U.
(angry) Well, up yours, you-! (draws his gun on Jefferson)
(stepping between them) Focus, gentlemen! Focus, focus!
Jefferson
Look, Al, God forbid she doesn't make it -- the important thing is you get right back on the horse.
Well, thanks, Jefferson, but how's sex with my wife gonna make me feel any better?
Married... with Children · 613 quotes
