Al Bundy quotes from Married... with Children

Al

The best way to ruin a heartfelt goodbye party is to stay where you're not wanted.

Al

When I felt that hairy hand go in my pocket, I naturally assumed it was Peg.

Al

Wow, we must have gone back in time 'cause I'm experiencing déjà moo.

Al

Nothing drowns your sorrows like a three-day binge at the Nudie Bar.

Al

When a Bundy doesn't get what's rightfully his, he makes sure that no one gets it either.

Al

A fat woman creatured her way into the shoe store today.

Al

Peg, I'm telling you, me and the floor boards can't take any more of her.

Al

What could be bigger than your mother? In captivity, that is.

Al

I want you to get back on that phone and do what you do best: shatter dreams.

Al

Come on, Jefferson, it's just us, some beer and some Mexican strippers. What could happen?

Al

Come on, Harris, for God's sake. Just make the "C". How tough can it be?

Al

I think I may have been a little too harsh on my son. After all, the only thing he really did wrong was go in the library in the first place. The rest was totally understandable. I mean, we men have our needs. It's women who tell us these things are wrong. And why? Because they want to take away the only good sex we have.

Al

Ladies and Gentlemen! And Marcy.

Al

My Pumpkin is becoming a princess. Gee, if only I could trade my cow for some magic beans.

Al

I hope one of these bills is for a coffin, because your shopping is killing me.